


Live, Die, Grow

by Plantsrule20009



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I repeat HAPPY ENDING, Personal Growth, Post Season 3, Slow Burn, Suicide, There is tragedy all over the place here, but only temporary if that make sense, post-redemption, read the intro please, same as season 3 but catra doesnt pull the lever, these girls deserve good things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2020-10-19 18:16:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 52,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20661602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plantsrule20009/pseuds/Plantsrule20009
Summary: Catra is the only one who can save the world. Shes the only one who knows the end is coming. Shes lived it more times than she cares to remember.Catra Time Loop AU





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey yall,  
So this is something that’s been stewing in my brain for a while and I’m happy to finally be getting it down. Its been cathartic after the heartbreak of season 3. As of the posting of this chapter, over 24k words are written with another 10-15k left to be written. So it’s mostly done! I will post chapters maybe once a week. I might space them out if I start catching up to what I’ve written. 
> 
> WARNING
> 
> I have written some intense scenes so far in this story. With that said, this chapter ends very sadly. Wait until I post the next chapter before reading this one if you don’t want such an awful cliffhanger. I know a lot of you come to Catradora for the angst and intense moments but I like to know when it’s coming so here’s my warning. 
> 
> However! There will be the most beautiful, happy ending I can possibly write because I think there needs to be more of that in this fandom. Especially after season 3. Also, Adora and Catras first kiss is not the last thing talked about in this story, its at about the 2/3rd's mark. I wanted to write them when they’re at their best and happy again.
> 
> I’ve tried the tone the angst down some because I think this story is intense enough without it. Catra has been through a ride and I’m trying to go as deep as I can. That means dark themes and I do mention suicide quite a few times throughout the course of this story. Catra does commit suicide in this chapter but it’s a time loop fic so she comes back at the start of the loop.

Her eyes blinked open then closed. She had 648 seconds until Hordak would call for her audience in his throne room.

6491 seconds and the war meeting was over. Catra had her assignment for the battle to come.

One stun baton, one extendable staff, and extra two batteries for the baton, a large piece of cloth, rations for 4 meals with two people. A pistol with one magazine, 12 bullets. 153 steps to her assigned tank and 32 seconds until Scorpia would sneak up behind her for a good luck hug.

The battle is an important one for the horde she would say. But be careful, there’s no point to any of this if you get hurt Scorpia would say next. Catra had stopped reacting to the statement but was good at lowering her ears and making a snarky comment to get Scorpia to let her go on her way.

Brightmoon was 10,831 seconds from the last gate of the Fright Zone if the correct path was taken. It was always an argument between Catra and Lonnie when Catra would deviate from course the first time. A blank face and talks of insubordination shut her up and no one would complain for the rest of the trip. The mask she kept on during the trek must be impeccable or other soldiers would make comments on her ability to lead. That was unacceptable.

Catra noted the flock of birds that they always ran by sometime during the trek.

Four volleys from the tanks would draw Adora and her friends out. Bow goes left, Glimmer right, Adora right for Catras tank, the biggest in the fleet. 4 counts before she jumps from the top of the tank before Adora slices the tank in half with the sword. 79 steps North, left, right, 31 steps, attack the rebel that comes around the corner. Drop him with a shock from the baton. Look back at Adora and smirk. Run 15 steps east, right, left, 43 steps. Turn around and face off with She-Ra.

“Catra, stop this, surrender now so the bloodshed can finally stop. I’m tired of fighting you,” She-Ra would beg. If only she knew. 14 seconds.

Catra lifted her hand to her mouth to conceal the laughter and switched the baton to on.

“Oh Adora, silly naive Adora, you can’t stop us, were already breaking through the defenses of your castle,” 8 seconds.

She-ra’s sword lifts just like it always does.

“Fine, let’s finish this then” Adora let out with a sigh. 0 seconds

Catra hated that sigh. She’d never got used to it. She always had to fight the urge to immediately put her weapon down and hug Adora and tell her how sorry she was. But she couldn’t. As long as she controlled the fight properly it would be another 3,725 seconds until she could do that.

The fight went well. Catra only missed one step but quickly recovered and the fight continued as normal. Half way through the fight she needed to duck behind the tree with the big knot so she could take out the horde soldier that was trying to sneak up on their fight. He never made things easier.

Finally, the crescendo, Catra was on the ground, beaten, bruised, baton had left her hand moments ago. Adora standing over her, sword above her head, ready to make the finishing blow.

Perfect. Hesitation. A bead of sweat falls on Adoras Brow. 5 seconds. Catra closed her eyes counting.

4 3 2 1

The blade falls. Catras eyes opened, gun drawing. Half way through the swing Adora realizes they’re at a stalemate and stops the fall of the blade. Catra has never held a gun to this Adora before.

The hesitation is all Catra needs. She kicks Adoras feet out from under her. She tumbles. Sword flies. In one motion, Catra summersaults backwards once and picks up her baton as she stands. The blade always lands perfectly straight up as it sinks in the ground in front of Catra. She grasps the sword and pulls it from the ground and points it at Adora picks herself up into a kneeling position, the power of She-Ra fading from her body.

“I guess this is finally it. Hesitation kills doesn’t it Adora?” Catra half smirks at the love of her life trying to keep the evil in her eyes. She raises the sword as Adoras eyes widen. The sword falls. Adora eyes close in defeat. A gunshot goes off.

11 bullets.

Catra hits the horde soldier watching the fight. One bullet was all she could afford. They go down.

Catra looks back at Adora. 2 seconds until she opens her eyes. 2 beautiful seconds where Catra can gaze upon the angel before her. Adora opens her eyes on schedule. Catra has already flipped the sword around and begun sheathing it in the cloth she had.

“Now for the hard part,” Catra mumbles to herself.

“What are you doing Catra? Finish it already,” Adora half pleads, half yells looking up at Catra not noticing the blade yet.

“You don’t get to die yet. I have plans for you Adora. Get up, you’re coming with me,” Catra had to stay cold. Adora takes 4 seconds to oblige. On schedule.

Catra continues, “Turn around and move. I’ll tell you what to do. If you don’t follow my commands I will kill you.” Adora takes a second but one prod from the pistol convinces her to do what Catra wants.

As they walk a moan comes from nearby._ Damn, a bad shot today it seems,_ Catra hissed inside her head. Adora looks towards the moan. It’s the soldier Catra shot. A Horde soldier. Her eyes widen at the site.

“Stay,” Catra commands, absolute resolution in her voice. This will put her behind schedule. She walks over to the dying soldier, pistol still raised at Adora.

Catra kneels next to the soldier. She’s only missed them a few times before but she never went back to look at her work. But today was already falling behind so she thought maybe it wouldn’t hurt to at least know who she’s killing.

They look to be a woman. Good build, strong. Just like Adora. Exactly what the horde would want. Catra looks for a moment. The soldier looks back, questions in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry. I wish I could get to know you. Please be at peace, you served your country well today,” Catra coos to the dying soldier. She takes the soldiers hand and squeezes. The soldier seems to understand they won’t make it but are at peace that their second in command would personally kneel beside them as they perished. A few moments went by before the eyes grew blank and the hand losses its grip.

Her now free hand gravitates to the dog tag around the soldiers neck._ Alex. I’ll get to know you someday. Forgive me._

No tears could be shed. Catra lost that power long ago for those she killed. She had lost count of how many Horde and Brightmoon soldiers she had killed to get to this moment in the day. The number would sicken anyone. She could feel Adora approach slowly. Catra was now 25 seconds behind schedule. Maybe tomorrow she would drink instead of fight.

“Don’t move. I told you not to move,” Catra spit out. The coldness must continue for another 3400 seconds or so. That was one number she didn’t try to remember. If she did her shift would always seem sudden and forced. Fake. She needed Adora to believe her. She needed the hug that would come. It’s what got her through most days. The hugs Adora gave were priceless to Catra. She would kill every person on the battlefield to get her hug.

Catra stood, gun still pointed at Adora. The safety had been on for 100 seconds now but Adora never noticed. Catra looked at the dead soldier for 4 more seconds before she looked up, dropping the dog tag. They were now 48 seconds behind schedule. The look on Adora was one of confusion.

“Move, now. Fast pace. We need to move,” Catra commanded. 2 seconds and Adora complied but not before looking between the body and Catra at least three times. She turned and began to walk at a fast pace towards the edge of the clearing they were in._ We need to move quickly to get back on schedule._ The cave was far and time was short.

1264 steps and the cave came into view. The walk was silent but Catra could hear the gears turning in Adoras mind. She couldn’t talk to Adora though. Not until the cave.

A whistling sound come into the air around the two women._ This isn’t right._ An explosion ripped through the forest just west of them. Knocking both of them off their feet. The sword flew from Catras hand. The gun did not. Catra could never lose her gun. Ever.

Stunned, it took a few moments for Catra and Adora to come to their senses. Catra realized the sword had landed just beside Adora._ Shit, now I remember. How could I forget something like that?_

Lord Hordak himself came from inside the forest to above the cave Catra so desperately needed to get Adora to.

Hordak looked down upon the two women as they tried to regain they’re bearings, “There you two are. We’ve been looking everywhere for you. Did you th-“

Hordaks line was cut off as Catra shot a bullet through his skull. He slumped to the ground. 10 bullets. The safety on the gun was only off for the amount of time it took Catra to aim and fire. She couldn’t risk a stray bullet hitting Adora or herself in a place that wouldn’t kill her instantly. Adora was wide eyed. Catra got up and dusted herself off.

The day was ruined now. She needed Hordak alive.

“Catra. What did you just do? Y-you just killed Hordak without as much as a comment,” Adora said incredulously as Catra. Catras demeanor shifted. She could drop her act now. The day was ruined, maybe she could get the hug in.

“Yes I did, it’s alright though, he won’t have to die later on,” Catra mused. “Here let me help you up,” she held out a hand to Adora that she took after a moment of hesitation.

Getting to her feet, Adora was still looking wide eyed at Catra. She must have seen Catras sudden change in body language.

“Catra, are you okay?” Adora said. Catra chuckled. Okay. When was she last okay? Yesterday when she got her hug.

“I’m so sorry Adora. For everything. You deserve so much better than me and yet every single fucking day you ask me to stop this and come with you, even after everything I’ve done to you,” Catra said looking down. The gun began to tremble slightly.

“What’s going on here? Don’t try to play with my mind just like Shadow Weaver,” Adora said. _Ugh the Shadow Weaver card._ Catra ears flattened.

“I wish I could explain but it doesn’t matter. Please believe me when I say how sorry I am for everything. I wish I hadn’t been so angry and jealous at you because look where it got us. I manipulated everyone to get back at you. I almost ended the world just for the sake of beating you. I manipulated you too,” Catra said. She sighed so hard it almost made Adora flinch.

The safety on the gun flipped off.

“I don’t believe you. You’re just trying to control me!” Adora yelled, she began to slowly slide over to where the sword of protection had fallen, the handle was peeking out of the cloth Catra had hidden it in. Catra knew what Adora was doing but didn’t stop her. It helped lengthen the conversation some. Catra laughed. It wouldn’t change anything except to calm Adora down.

“I want to apologize for trying to control you Adora. I want you to be free of the torment I have subjected you to over the last few years. Ever since you left I wanted to destroy you but now I can only see the perfection that you are. The beauty you bring to the world. The help you do. The good fights you fight. All the while I fester in the background trying to undermine you. Slow you down, and stop you from fulfilling your destiny to bring peace to Etheria. I don’t want to do this anymore Adora,” tears formed in her eyes. She could still see Adora inching towards the sword. Her hand was going numb from holding the gun so hard. Catra wouldn’t look up to meet Adoras gaze. It kept Adora moving toward the sword but she was beginning to hesitate.

Catra continued, “Someday I hope this will all be over and we can talk like we used to. “Damn, look at me. Now that the day is ruined I’m completely falling apart,” she tried to control her breathing while willing the tears to stop.

Adora slowly bent down and picked up the sword.

“You can come with me now. Drop the gun and come with me. Back to Brightmoon. I still think you can change even if you don’t. Please Catra. Come with me” Adora was beginning to shake at the site of Catras slow break down.

“I wish I could. But I have to keep going. Until I find the solution. Thank you for talking with me. It’s been a while since we’ve gotten to really talk. I’m always trying to keep us moving so talking moves to the wayside,” Catra said. She wiped the tears from her eyes with her hand holding the pistol.

“I’ll help you Catra. If you put down the gun we can work together and figure out what’s wrong. Can you put the gun down?” Adora was pleading.

“Thank you Adora. You have no idea what that means to me. Okay, you win. I’ll come with you,” Catra dropped the gun as close to behind her without arising suspicion. The action clearly makes Adora clam down. The ghost of a smile forms on her chapped and perfect lips. She sheathed the sword and walked up to Catra.

“We’ll figure this out, whatever it is. You’ll have to tell me the problem though. You’re still speaking in riddles a little” a light chuckle left Adora. The situation felt like it was deescalating, “can I hug you please? It’s been so long since we haven’t fought.”

A real genuine smile came to Catra. She finally looked up at Adora, her arms already outstretched to meet Catra. Even after everything Catra had done to Adora, she would drop it all as soon as Catra broke down her defenses. She walked forward, stretching her arms out to come to Adora.

They met and everything felt better. Every time Catra would get this far in a day, it reminded her why she kept fighting. Why she woke up every morning to Hordak yelling for a new frontal attack that succeeded or failed based on her whims. The hug kept her alive. They stood like that for a while. Catra let a few sobs come out. Adora followed suit.

“You still forgive me” Catra mumbled into Adoras hair. That perfect golden hair.

“Of course I do, every day. I can’t stay mad at you. No matter how hard I try.”

“Heh that makes two of us” Catra began to pull away a little. She wanted to look into Adoras eyes one more time. They stood at arm’s length for a while holding each other’s shoulders.

Catra broke off the hug reluctantly. Her tail had found what it was looking for. A final smile before reality came back into view. Hordaks body off in the distance. Sounds of explosions from behind them. Was the sky already beginning to darken? Adoras smile was so wide. Catra hated what came next. Her arm reached behind her back and took the gun from her tail. She raised it to her own head. Adoras smile melted into worry and confusion. Catra hated herself for doing this to Adora again.

“Wh-what are you doing? Catra how did you get the gun? Put it down. Get it way from your head. No please.” Adora caught up to what was happening.

“I’m sorry my love. The day is ruined and I must begin again. Thank you for the hug. It always brings me life.”_ I love you._ But she doesn’t let herself say it.

She couldn’t bear the crushing look Adora gave her any longer.

The gun went off.

\----------

Her eyes opened. 648 seconds until Hordak would call for her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra takes the day off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back you guys! 
> 
> Hope you all had a good week. Here's a new chapter, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> WARNING
> 
> Mentions of suicide, torture, murder, drinking.

Today would be an easy day. Catra would say the right things and get Captain Octavia to lead the charge. Now she could drink and convince Entrapta to study the planet. A few choice words and the right pushes always got Entrapta into high gear for observation. It pained her to think, but Catra was really good at manipulating Entrapta and anyone else she came into contact with. _It’s all for the greater good. Maybe they’ll forgive me someday. Maybe._

As the hours lazed by, Catra became drunker and drunker. She hung out in her usual corner of the lab, not caring how drunk she got. Even if someone got the sensitive information out of her, as soon as she would sober up would start the day over. 

The pistol weighed heavily at her side. She tried too many times to talk to people in the Fright Zone about her curse. Unless it was Entrapta she would end up having to confront Hordak and that always ended messy. 

Almost like an oven timer, Catras mind chimed saying the attack on Brightmoon had just started. She had gotten good at counting the seconds in the back of her head, even subconsciously at this point.

Adora would just be getting to the battlefield. Bow left, Glimmer right. Maybe Glimmer would see the Horde soldier before he knocks her out this time. Catra sighed. 

No she wouldn’t. She never did, no one ever changed _anything_ they did without Catras intervention. Catra spent months, years, fighting that battle. She learned how to win it in under an hour by the time she realized winning the battle and taking over Brightmoon wouldn’t end her curse. 

The sky always darkened and 432,000 seconds later the planet was dead. She’d managed to survive for another two weeks before thirst took her. Catra had hoped against hope that Adora would come flying out and save the day with the power of She-Ra. She never did. Her body just laid there. 

Catra took another big swig from the bottle. She wasn’t drunk enough yet. Or was she too drunk?_ Couldn’t hurt to try more alcohol._ The bottle stayed to her mouth for a long time. 

She hoped the bottle would fend off the ghosts in her periphery. Hugging her knees a little closer to her chest, she was beginning to hear things that had never even happened. Screams and gunshots. How many times had she left Adora behind to reset the day? How many times had she watched Adora die? Another big swig from the bottle. It was starting to feel light and the swishing wasn’t as pronounced. 

Entrapta was looking at her now. Worriedly. Apparently Catra had over done it. 

“If you’ve got somethin’ to say, say it already,” Catra slurred.

“You appear to be drinking fairly heavily for the time of day. I’m also surprised you stayed behind for as large of an attack as Hordak wanted to mount. I thought you would want to be there for the fall of Brightmoon” Entrapta said, looking at Catra but her hair was still typing away on the computer. 

“I don’ need you to tell m’ what to do,” Perhaps she had had a little too much to drink. 

“I am slightly worried about you. And you never stay in the lab this long.”

“Wha’ of it? I’ll leave if ya wan’ me too.”

“No, this is fine, it’ll make it easier to find you when I have the data you’re looking for. I’m surprised you want data like this. It’s unlike like you.” 

“The sooner ya get the information the sooner n’ be outta your hair Trapta.”

Another hour went by before any substantial data began to come in. Lines and lines of code poured through the computer screen. Catra finally got up, leaving the bottle to keep her spot warm. She grabbed onto boxes and other contraptions on her way to the monitors to keep her balance. Her tail flailed wildly trying to help her stay upright.

“Finally. Let’s see wha’ we have today,” Catra mumbled to herself but still loud enough for Entrapta to hear. “Looks like the same as always. Can you change the coordinates of the search to 23.7 clicks north Entrapta?” 

Entrapta looked confusedly at Catra. That’s right, Catra wasn’t supposed to know Entraptas computer language. A mix of science and magic she had developed to study First Ones tech. Catra didn’t look at Entrapta, instead looking at the computer screen until she complied. The scope of the analysis changed. 

“Still the same as always,” Catra said, her hand rubbing her chin in thought. What was she missing? She’s had Entrapta search nearly the whole planet. Maybe it wasn’t something that could be observed traditionally. Who knows? Her situation certainly wasn’t traditional. 

Entrapta looked up, “If I may ask, what are you looking for? And how do you know how to read my data? What’s the same as it always is? I’ve never done an analysis like this before.”

“I guess I don’t have any more leads until I talk to you about this,” Catra stood up straight, beginning to feel her drunkenness subside a little, “I learned you’re language a long time ago. Took you forever to teach me. We really got to know each other then. I don’t know how many times you’ve told me the story of how you thought up the name Emily for your first Horde robot.” Catra was kind of smiling now, remembering those good days. Luckily not all of her days involved her shooting soldiers or wounding the people Adora cared about. 

“Okay, you’re gonna have to give me more than that. I haven’t taught you my language and I haven’t told anybody the story of Emily. How could you know that?” Entrapta was thoroughly confused now, the typing of her hair stopping.

“Sorry, sorry. You’re right I didn’t lead that the right way. I’ll explain.

“I’ve been living this day for the last,” _How old am I now? _“I don’t know how many years now. I learned your computer language over the course of an entire year of this day. It certainly sped up once you told me the password for your lab in Dryl that would get you to believe me faster. Its Perfumas birthday by the way. I hope someday you can talk to her about your love for her.”

The gears turned in Entraptas head. Same as every other time Catra told her this story. But it was endearing to see nonetheless. The scientific theory embodied in a super genius princess with the power to manipulate her hair. 

“How FASCINATING! It must be true. No one knows that password. There’s so much you could do. So much you could learn. Well I suppose you’ve probably already done everything you could hope to do since you’re here now instead of doing other things. So then, why are you here? In my lab day drinking and asking for atmospheric data from around the globe?”

Catra thought for a moment. It was hard to say anymore why she kept trying at all. She kind of had to keep going. No matter how she did it, she always died and would start this day over. Lying around in bed didn’t solve her problems. Preventing Etheria from dying was her objective. Protecting Adora from dying had become her goal after everything else failed, and for Adora to survive, Etheria had to survive. Something caused the world to die within a week of this day. 

Catra had to hope it wasn’t she herself in this time loop that was killing the planet. Could she really be cursed to live like this for all eternity? Never moving forward. Never aging. Never being able to see Adoras beautiful eyes under the trees of the Whispering Woods as they lay together.

No. She couldn’t think like that. That rabbit hole took her to the darkest places of the world. The darkest places of her mind. She couldn’t, wouldn’t, go there again. Fight. Or never die. Fight, and see Adora thrive. Catra suddenly felt more sober and squared her shoulders before speaking. 

“Because Etheria is dying. Right now. I have 43 hundred- I mean about a week before everything on the planet dies. Everyone dies. Adora dies. And as far as I can tell I’m the only one who knows it’s coming. No one else sees it coming. It all happens so fast.

“That’s why I need your data and I needed to learn your computer language. But so far I- we have never been able to figure out what causes everything to die. It just gets dark. Then it gets cold. Water freezes and the land dies. It’s so sudden and because of the war front Hordak creates today, both sides have no supplies to last more than two weeks before food and fuel run out. It doesn’t matter if we have the supplies though. The light never comes back and it just keeps getting colder.” Catra shuddered remembering the absolute cold that would sweep through the land. Not even a roaring bonfire would keep it away for long. Cold enough to make the ancient trees of the Whispering Woods splinter and crack.

Entrapta looked deep in thought now. Obviously trying to puzzle out the solution, what numbers to crunch. Nothing ever came of her thoughts though. There wasn’t enough data. Everything died so fast there was never enough data to collect before it was too late. 

Catra continued, “We’ve never been able to find the epicenter. I’ve been slowly having you track the weather around the world to see if you could spot where everything begins to go wrong but that’s not the right way. We’ve searched everywhere. I’m out of leads.” Catra was getting frustrated now. Weeks of this data collecting and nothing. Just like every other possibility she and Entrapta had envisioned. What now? The Fright Zone had the smartest person in the world and the best technology.

“Have you tried ending the war? Maybe something during the battle causes the planet to go out of balance,” Entrapta was still trying to come up with ideas. She was good at that. Catra wished she could be nearly as smart as the princess. 

“Yes I have. Hordak doesn’t take it too well obviously. I’ve ended up on his operating table once or twice because of it,” Catra tried not to remember those brutal days. She learned a valuable lesson though. Lord Hordak was evil through and through. Irredeemable. A savage who only knew his thirst for conquest. No. Ending the war wasn’t the answer. Even if Catra could convince the other side to lay down their arms. Hordak would always just attack with more gusto. 

“Maybe the Princess Alliance can help then? Have you tried to get their help?” Entrapta said next.

“Even if I tell them to end the war, Hordak destroys everything. Neither side has enough power over the other to win absolutely without almost destroying themselves. That’s why this war has gone on for so long. No one side can gain an upper hand over the other.”

“What about She-Ra? Can she stop the world from ending?”

There was an idea. It had been a while since Catra had tried to do anything other than just keep Adora alive. What if she could find a faster way of getting to Adora? What if she could win her trust faster? What if she could tell Adora how much she needs Adora sooner? Catra knew Adora would forgive her. Adora had done it so many times for Catra. Maybe together they could solve this problem. Together. 

“That’s a good idea ‘Trapta. I think that will be my new goal then. Enlisting Adoras help in saving the world. Wow that must sound crazy coming from me since you don’t know where I’ve come from.”

“I must admit this is all highly unusual. None of my graphs fit anything like your case. You truly aren’t the Catra I knew yesterday,” Catra actually felt a bit of heat come to her cheeks at that, “but if anyone can do anything, it would be you,” Entrapta said with a giant smile. 

“Thank you Entrapta. I wouldn’t be here without you. I would be lost. Both you and Scorpia have helped me though many dark days. I hope someday I can tell you all this without you forgetting it eventually,” then Catra did something Entrapta had never seen her do before. Catra gave her a hug. A genuine hug with feeling. She was stunned for a moment before reciprocating. 

Just then the door to the lab opened. Many footsteps could be heard. The two girls broke apart. The room was filling with horde soldiers. After a moment, Hordak himself walked in as well. 

Hordak gave a menacing smile before speaking, his little imp crawled from behind his back. 

“I wondered where my Second in command had gone. When I heard you weren’t on the battlefield I worried that battle would be lost. Perhaps it is good though you weren’t there. She-Ra is finally dead. Brightmoon is mine. However I just heard some startling news that you two are plotting against me. What do you have to say for yourselves?”

Even though Catra knew Adora likely dies in the battle. It was still unnerving to hear Hordak say it. She still had nightmares where she would win the fight and kill Adora in some brutal awful way. Or she would bring Adora back to the horde where they would inevitably torture her to try to get her to use her powers to save the world. It never worked. Or they would just execute her. In some of Catras darkest days she was even the executioner. The smile Hordak gave her and the smell of blood after would haunt her forever. Catra stops her mind there. Coming back to the present. Those days were long ago. She could see the Horde soldiers lift their guns up to her and Entrapta.

“I guess you could say I’m going in a different direction Hordak. The horde isn’t for me, and hasn’t been for a long time. I can’t wait to kill you someday,” A Smirk came to Catras face. She knew Entrapta and Hordak had become something of friends but she knew what Hordak was capable of. They were depths Entrapta wouldn’t reach because of her humanity.

“Don’t make me laugh. I have twenty of my best guard aiming their guns at you right now. You’d never get to me, and once we’re done here, I’ll make sure you’re both executed before the end of the day for betraying me and the Horde.”

“Oh Hordak. Someday you will pay for what you’ve done to this planet, to me, to Adora. Not today though. See you in the meeting tomorrow. Maybe.”

Catra quickly un-holstered her gun, raising it to her temple and looked at Entrapta for a second. Catra could vaguely hear Hordak exclaiming to take them prisoner. She smiled at Entrapta mouthing a thank you. The gun went off. 

..…

Her eyes opened. 648 seconds until Hordak would call for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Leave a comment and let me know what you thought!


	3. Chapter 3

The castle of Brightmoon was a beautiful sight to behold in the daytime but during the night with the full moons, the walls took on an even more magnificent glow. Adora had learned to love the bright walls and high ceilings, a stark contrast from her youth in the Fright Zone. The beds were a bit harder to get used to after having slept in a cruddy bunk all her life. She still preferred a firmer bed to anyone else in the castle even after living in the castle for years now. 

The evening air was amazing tonight, it smelled good. Adora loved keeping the doors to her balcony open to let the cool air waft in. It was peaceful. It calmed her and made it easier to sleep. Sleep was hard to come by on more nights than she cared to tell anyone. 

Visions of past fights and struggles plagued her. Mostly her nightmares centered on Catra. Sometimes Adora would capture Catra and sometimes the opposite was true. Sometimes battles where they fought each other. No matter the theme though, heartache wouldn’t be far behind. Adora couldn’t remember the last time she had a good dream about Catra. 

A barely audible clunk aroused Adora from a light sleep. Her eyes blinked a few times before recognizing what she saw was movement. Her heart began pumping hard instantly. Jolting up to see what caused the movement, she looked around. 

“Who’s there?” Adora said to the darkness. Sometimes Shadow Weaver would visit in her dreams, menacing, cruel, torturing.

A moment passed before her eyes picked up the blue and gold dots from across the room. Adora’s heart thudded even harder. 

“C-Catra? Is that you?” _Am I dreaming or something?_

Adora heard a sigh and the eyes got bigger, coming out of the dark corner of the room and into the moonlight. It really was Catra. Her ears were back. Her tail was swishing a lot. Was Catra nervous?

“Hey Adora,” Catra said almost as a whisper. “I’m here to talk. I don’t want to fight you. I'm unarmed.” Her hands were up and in plain sight before slowly pointing to Adoras dresser. There lay a Horde stun baton and a pistol with the magazine unloaded. 

Catra was in her room? In Brightmoon? Catra was _disarmed_ in her room? 

How did she get here? How did she get passed the guards? Why did she look so…sad? A million thoughts ran through her head in a millisecond. 

How was she supposed to take this? Adoras training told her to take her chance and defeat her enemy. But this was Catra. She never really became an enemy to Adora as much as she tried to make Catra one. There was too much history. She knew too much about the inner workings of Catra to see her in a way other than the hurt and betrayed woman that Adora left behind to join the rebellion. Adora had spent so long trying to bury those thoughts. Somedays she succeeded, others she failed miserably. 

If Catra was here to hurt Adora, she would have done so by now. Never giving Adora the chance to defend herself. Or she could have waltzed into queen Angela’s chambers and assassinated her. But she was here, ears back, unarmed and looking at Adora with eyes she had never seen on Catra before- utter and complete tiredness. Not the kind one gets from running or exercise but the kind that comes from mental exhaustion. A look she had seen on her own face looking in mirrors sometimes.

It was shocking to see. The Catra Adora knew, at least from after she left the Horde never showed herself like this. Especially to Adora. Vulnerable. Adora wasn’t sure what to think. Catra had tricked her more times than she could count at this point. It could all be a ruse. Her hands slowly went for the Sword of Protection. If Catra did try anything, she at least wanted to have the sword close by. 

“Catra, what’s- what are you doing here?” Adora stuttered after a moment longer, fingers beginning to feel the hilt of the sword.

“I want to talk. Please, I don’t want to fight you anymore. I want to help you,” the tiredness on her face almost seemed to get worse. Like she was remembering things. Her tail continued to swish back and forth with speed.

“I don’t know if I can trust you. We’ve been fighting each other for years. You’ve played me against my trust for you before.” Adora grasped the sword before slowly getting out of bed, her eyes never leaving Catra. At least her heart rate had begun to slow a bit. The blood wasn’t pumping in her ears as much now. Catra seemed to almost wince and then looked down at the ground. Her arms fell by her sides.

“I know and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. For being mad at you, for not coming with you. I wish everyday now that I came with you that day in Thaymor. It took me a long time to see what I had done to you, what I had lost. Tell me how I can win you back. I n-” Catra stopped herself and let out a shaky sigh. 

Who was this person? This isn’t the Catra Adora had fought a week ago. A month ago. A year ago. That Catra was guarded and angry and wanted nothing more than Adora to either die or become her prisoner. But here Catra was. In Adoras room in the middle of the night unarmed and it looked like she was going to cry any moment now. Adoras hold on the sword began to loosen. Catra was laying her heart out right now. 

If circumstances were different, Adora would have felt so nervous to have Catra here in her room alone. The idea brought a shutter to her, thoughts not completely platonic. She would have run over and rapped Catra in the best hug Adora could muster to stifle her pains. The moonlight gave Catra an amazing halo around her mane. Her fur glowed and her eyes sparkled a little bit. They always looked the brightest under the moonlight. Her face had a realness to it Adora hadn’t seen in a long time. Hadn’t been allowed to see in a long time. She was beautiful. 

_Don’t lower your guard, this could all still blow up in my face._ Adoras grip tightened again.

“I suppose you can start with how you got in here? How did you get passed all of the guards and wards around the castle?” Adora knew Catra would probably launch into some crazy long story that would waste Adoras time. Maybe to distract her? Kill time to allow the horde to finish some mission? But Adora didn’t have to wait long.

Catras answer came fast and blunt, “because I memorized every inch of this castle. I didn’t hurt anyone on my way in, I know you’ll ask that next,” she sniggered at that, a little of the worry in her face seemed to dissipate, “No one, not even the Horde know I’m here,” her tail began to twitch a little less. She was looking intently at Adora. 

Who was this person? Catra was intelligent but not in the ‘memorize every inch of a castle’ kind of way, though she never doubted Catra couldn’t do something she set her mind to, “I need your help. But I can’t move forward until you trust me. I know you trusted me once, but I don’t know what you want me to do to get it back. I’ve put my past behind me. The past that doesn’t matter anymore at least. I...can't fight you anymore. If you’ll have me, I want to stay by your side once more.”

There was a finality to Catras words. Adora knew, hoped, she was telling the truth. Catra really did all of this just to see her again? Yesterday they would have been at each other’s throats. Maybe it was all an elaborate ruse. It would take weeks or months to memorize the castles halls. It took Adora forever to start feeling comfortable to navigate them without Glimmer or Bow to help her. 

Then to do it without anybody knowing she was there. Brightmoon castle didn’t have the convenient air ducts and secret passages that no one used like the Fright Zone did. Catra was sneaky, but not infallible. But to her knowledge no one had gone missing or uniform closets or the like had been ransacked that would suggest a spy. How the hell did Catra do all this?

That would have to go unanswered again Adora presumed. What could Catra’s ultimate goal be? A way to get close to Adora again until she told Catra some secret about Brightmoon or the rebellion that would help Catra bring it all down. 

Catra’s actions were speaking volumes too. Her weapons were down and disarmed. Put gently on the other side of the room. She was going out of her way to show she was being non-aggressive. The hesitance in her voice and the lack of usual snarkyness also piqued Adoras interest. Maybe she was telling the truth. Only one way to find out. 

“For me to believe you, you need to give me something that would prove you’re on our side.” _My side. _“What can you give me to show me this isn’t another one of your plans to attack the rebellion?” _Me?_

“I have knowledge that will help you. Hordak is going to attack Brightmoon. He is going to attack _everywhere._ This is his big push. To spread the princess alliance so thin he can crush Brightmoon before you can regroup and take out his forces. He knows that together, the princesses can take him out any day of the week. Apart though, you’re easy targets.” Catra stopped for a moment. She squared her shoulders, “I’m here to help you stop Hordak. I will personally fight him if you allow me to.” The conviction in her eyes seemed real. 

A voice in the back of Adoras head told her to quickly turn into She-Ra and bring Catra down once and for all. Throw her in a jail cell and never look back. But this was a chance for them to start over. Maybe be friends again? Maybe more? No, she couldn’t think like that. She had squandered her chances at that the day she left the horde. This was the chance she had waited so long for though. So many bells rang inside her head telling her to run but maybe this time it wouldn’t blow up in her face. _Take the leap._

Adora took a second before sighing and then lowered her sword, “Fine. Come with me, I’ll wake Angela and the others and you can tell them what you know. You need to know though that I will be your only ally in that room. Any mishaps and no one will hesitate to kill you. I want you to know that before we go on.”

Catra only seemed to relax a little bit at that. Her tail twitched, and Adora noticed she looked over to the dresser with her weapons on it. Her hands rubbed together like they were missing something in them. She was concentrating now, almost like she was counting something. 

She looked back at Adora, “Oh believe me I know. Thank you Adora. Before we go though, can I ask you a question?”

Adora didn’t really know what to say so she let her silence answer for her. Catra took a moment before continuing,  
“before I ask, you’ll need some context. There may come a time when you stop trusting me again. I-I am cursed Adora. There is a reason I memorized the castle and no one has found me yet. It took me months to get to this point in the day. This is the first time I’m having this conversation with you. Tomorrow you won’t remember this conversation but you can help me get your trust faster so I can help you and Brightmoon. Can you tell me something you would only tell me that would prove you can trust me? I know how this sounds. I don’t want any secrets of Brightmoon or anything sensitive. But something on some aspect of your life I haven’t known since you left the Horde.”

What the hell? What is Catra talking about? Cryptic much? The whole statement threw Adora off. Catra seemed to pick it up. She lowered her head again, seemingly contemplating. 

“That’s an awful specific thing you need from me. Not to mention all of the rest of what you just said made no sense. I don’t know if you’ve earned any information yet Catra. You can’t possibly expect me to just give you some juicy detail about my life out of the blue.”

“No, you’re right I’m sorry. I get impatient sometimes. Umm.. Let’s make a deal, a secret for a secret. Trust for trust. I’ll tell you something that is worth the question I asked you.” Catra looked up to Adora. It seemed like Catra already had something in mind to tell Adora. But Adora wasn’t about to let this opportunity to be wasted.

“I suppose. But I get to pick the question.”

“Of course.”

“Why? Did you come here because you want to help the rebellion or because the Horde kicked you out?” the question came off of Adoras lips without as much energy as she thought it would take to say them. It was a simple albeit loaded question. Catra seemed to pick up on it though as her ears came up to attention and her tail stopped moving completely.

“Heh you would ask something so noble. But I’ll answer the real question you want to ask. Yes. I miss you. I want to help the rebellion because I miss you and I want you back in my life. I know what I’ve said in the past that I didn’t need you or anyone but that’s not true and it never was. I was too angry and jealous and stubborn to tell you how I really felt.

“I want us to be together again. I want to protect you. I’ve learned from my sins. I spent so long trying to go down that disgusting tunnel hoping it would eventually lead me to what I wanted. I finally realized one day, oh I don’t know, two years ago maybe? That what I was doing wasn’t the right solution. I was too angry and stubborn before to come with you but now I’m here and I want to make amends.” Catra was practically rambling now. The nervousness in her voice had returned. 

Adoras heart fluttered and began beating fast again. _She came back for me? Because she missed me? She wants us to be friends again?_ Catra seemed to be telling the truth. She was a good liar though, but only when using her anger or smugness. Talking wholeheartedly about her other feelings came much harder to Catra. She definitely answered Adoras question though. The question she really wanted to ask. 

“Okay. I guess you win. Fair is fair. I’ll tell you what you want to know. In times of need an old woman sometimes comes to me. She calls herself Madam Razz. She’s ancient, huge thick glasses. A broom. She always wants my help to pick berries,” even though Razz only came in times of need and hardship, Adora still had to smile at the apparent carefree nature of the old woman. “If you tell me that in the future, I’ll know I can trust you to at least explain to me what’s going on. I want you here too Catra. I’ve missed you.” At that, Adora finally put down the sword on the bed before coming closer to Catra. 

They looked at each other for a moment before Adora enveloped the shorter woman in a crushing hug. It took a moment but Catra hugged back. She almost seemed desperate for the touch. She squeezed just as hard as Adora did which was saying something because she was always the stronger one while Catra was nimble and fast. Her tail even wrapped around Adoras ankle, something Catra used to do on occasion when a hug was exactly what she needed to calm her down. It made Adoras heart stop for a moment to remember the old memories and what this hug must mean to Catra. Adora melted into the hug even more. She’s back.

Adora thought she heard a soft sob or two while they embraced before she heard the other say, “Thank you Adora, I always love the hugs you give me. I treasure them. Thank you.” Catra somehow hugged Adora even tighter. Wait, love? They hadn’t hugged in years. What was she talking about?

“This is our first hug in like forever. What are you talking about Catra?” The confusion was coming back now. Catra seemed to stiffen at the question.

Catra slowly broke off the hug and looked up at Adora. Her eyes contemplating again. 

The first rays of morning were beginning to come over the horizon now. The dark edges in the room began to fade. Catra still looked amazing in the light. Adora was sure she looked like a total mess because she had just woken up. Off in the distance Adora thought she could see a large flock of birds fly into the air off near the horizon. Catra seemed to see it too. She sighed. 

“Thank you Adora. I know I keep saying that but you truly don’t know what this, you, mean to me. Maybe you do? I guess I’ll have to find out later,” Catra smiled at this, a genuine smile Adora hadn’t seen since she left. It was mesmerizing.

Then Adoras view shifted as she felt her legs go out from under her. Catra had just kicked out her legs. 

Oh no, it was a ploy.

Catra would never change. 

Her head hit the floor hard. 

It took a moment to come back to her senses and she looked around. Catra had moved off to the dresser and picking up the gun and magazine, sliding it into place and chambering a round. The sword was too far away now. This was how it would end. Catra sneaking into Brightmoon to manipulate her one last time before continuing her conquest of the rebellion. Adoras heart broke.

The tears came so fast. Adora couldn’t move at the betrayal she felt. This was how she would die. 

“I’m sorry, this was the only way to get back to my gun. I’m not going to hurt you. I couldn’t ever hurt you again,” Catras voice echoed in Adoras head. She looked up finally expecting the gun to be pointed at her only to find the gun digging into Catras temple. It looked like Catra was on the edge of tears, “I have to restart the day now. Hordak is too close to be able to stop him. Tomorrow I will be able to tell you more. For now, goodbye,” Catra smiled so sadly. Adora couldn’t figure out what was going on. What was Catra doing? She wasn’t making any sense. Hordak was coming this morning? 

Before Adora could put an arm up to try to stop Catra the gun went off and then nothingness.  
….

Catras eyes opened. 648 seconds until Hordak would call for her. The tears came a moment later. Adora still trusted her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and thank you to everyone that has commented on the last two chapters. it really means a lot to get them and read them. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! I hope you all had a good week and enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> Thank you all so so much for the wonderful feedback and comments I've been getting! They're wonderful and I reread comments all the time when I need a pick me up. 
> 
> This fic officially hit 50k words the other night while I was working on it which is awesome! The last chapter is written as well so all I have to do now is edit and post. I'll still keep to a once a week upload schedule though there may be one or two times I upload two chapters at a time because of how it all works out. Hopefully it makes sense once i do it. 
> 
> Have a great week and I'll see you next Saturday!

Now that Catra knew how to get into the Brightmoon without running into any guards and had a piece of knowledge that would help her win Adoras trust (hopefully it was good enough. Adora wasn’t a liar, but she could be stubborn as a mule). Now she could move onto the next part of her plan. Sabotage the Horde before she left to make the battle easier to win on the other side (and it would help prove herself in the eyes of the rebellion).

She always had to think about the bigger picture. _Maybe I won’t have to reset the day this time_. But she had to do everything perfectly before that would happen. Catra had learned to count and dance to the beat of this day. Could almost put a music to it.

1 2 3 breathe

1 2 3 step

1 2 3 

Catra waltzed around the Fright Zone, never being seen. A touch of explosive here, a sabotaged munitions box there and a whole lot of grenades hidden inside the tanks of the fleet. She also changed the crew load outs so none of her friends would get hurt. A soldier named Alex would be sidelined today for ammo restocking. Even though it probably meant killing some other innocent soldier, it made Catra feel a little bit of humanity to try to save those she cared about.

Before leaving the Fright Zone though, Catra needed her gun. The pistol that had killed her more times than she could remember. It was a plain and simple pistol. No embossing, nothing frilly. Exactly like the rest of the Horde. It felt like an extension of her arm now. Not having her gun in hand or on her side made Catra horribly anxious. She could barely stand it the day before when she had to put it down before speaking with Adora. It pained her when she kicked out Adoras feet to get back to her gun but the sickening release of anxiety as she picked it up and slid the magazine into place made Catra feel like it was worth it, to her disgust.

As much as a sign of death as her pistol was, it was also a symbol of life. Rebirth as it were in Catras case. She knew it was completely unhealthy to have these thoughts but she reasoned she would sort through those feelings when the difference between a slow painful death and a quick one didn’t mean as much to her. Catra picked up her pistol and checked it like she always did. Exactly 10 seconds to make sure every spring and slide functioned perfectly and as intended. Holstering the pistol relinquished some anxiety Catra didn’t know she had.

Today she decided to take extra clips of ammo with her. This was an unknown day. Fighting this battle on the other side meant everything would be different. Different strategies, different ways of doing things and deploying troops if she could get that far. She was sure she would have to reset at some point in order to make the battle, and the princess alliance, dance to her music, but until she had exact counts, airing on the side of caution would be safest. Plus, who knew what might happen after today?

60 bullets in 5 clips would do.

Next Catra found the usual skiff she liked to use when speed was of the essence. Before her curse had taken effect, she had had Entrapta modify this particular skiff to have extra power and maneuverability for whatever situations Catra and her crew might find themselves in. Entrapta certainly didn’t disappoint. She could get to Brightmoon in under 3,600 seconds at full throttle.

Soon, Catra found herself once again in Adoras room. The beauty herself sleeping soundly. Her face glowed in the moonlight, a few lose strands of blonde hair had fallen in front of her face. Catra had to stop herself from tucking the hair behind Adoras ear.

She allowed herself 15 seconds to gaze upon the angel before her before breaking away and moving over to the dresser where she un-holstered the gun and disarmed it. She slid the clip out slowly and quietly to avoid disturbing Adora too soon. When the gun and clips she carried were together on the dresser, Catra recalled what she had to say to Adora to hopefully win her trust. Reciting the description of this Madam Razz in her head a few times, Catra felt slightly more confident before moving across the room near the open balcony door where the moonlight streamed in.

A few breaths, in and out, she put her arms up in a show of surrender before tapping her foot on the floor a few times in an attempt to make enough noise to wake Adora up. The slow even breathing stopped quickly and she could see Adora open her eyes to the noise. It took a moment before she was jolted straight up in her bed, breathing hard and looking very scared towards Catra. She made a mental note to try something even more delicate next time, waking Adora up like this certainly wouldn’t win Catra any trust points and plus Catra hated seeing the scared look on her face. _She’s given me that face too many times._

“C-Catra? Is that you?” Adora said, still breathing hard. She began moving her hand towards the hilt of her sword that lay next to her bed for easy access. 

“Hey Adora. Don’t freak out, I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to help you,” Catra pointed off to the dresser where her gun was. It was so far away. She averted her eyes back to Adora before she dwelled on it too long. Her tail twitched back and forth.

Adoras hand was around the sword now, and she was getting out of bed, “Well you certainly have a way of doing it, creeping into my room in the middle of the night and scaring me half to death. What are you doing here?”

She had a point and an older version of Catra told her to make up some snarky comment about bedrooms and being alone and all that but she couldn’t bring herself to flirt with Adora. She had squandered that connection between them long ago and struggled to regain it during her loops when she tried talking to Adora.

“You’re right and I’m sorry. I needed to talk to you before I talk to anyone else. You know me the best, knew me the best I mean, and I hope I can gain some semblance of trust that will allow you to let me help the rebellion,” Catra stopped for a moment and breathed again. _Here goes nothing_, “I know how this is going to sound but please believe me. You won’t remember but we’ve had this conversation before. I want to help the rebellion and stop Hordak. I want to be by your side again Adora. I miss you. So-“ _No that’s too much, too fast, give her what she told you to say_, “you believed me then and allowed me to help. You told me to tell you about Madam Razz when you learned you would forget this conversation. She has big glasses, she’s ancient too. She comes to you in times of need. She likes to pick berries with you apparently. Oh and she has a broom too I guess,” Catra finished trying to keep the nervousness out. She waited for Adoras response while trying to keep her adrenalin down.

Adora looked at Catra like she had grown a second head. The sword immediately lowered and her stance relaxed some. _This Madam Razz must mean a lot to Adora_.

“There’s no way you could know that. Even if you did manage to capture her, she would have bamboozled you and escaped before she would tell you anything,” Adora actually chuckled at this and smiled. _She’s so beautiful_.

It put Catras heart at ease and made everything not so dark. For just a moment she forgot her predicament and remembered the good times she had had with her friend in the past. _I’ll do anything to breathe life into that fire again_.

Adoras smile lingered for another second before she remembered the situation she was in. It disappeared when she looked back at Catra. Her grip tightened around the sword.

“Okay, you’ve won me over for a moment. I’ll allow you to have an audience with the queen and the alliance in the morning. For now though, I have to put you into custody. I can’t fully trust you yet even if I apparently did tell you about Madam Razz in the past.”

“We can’t wait until morning Adora. Hordak is coming _now_. He’s planning a huge invasion for Brightmoon and all of the kingdoms of the princess alliance. You have about 9-th…umm I mean about two and a half hours before he gets here. I wish I could have warned you sooner. I didn’t even know about the attack until he announced it in a war meeting this morning.”

A small lie. It would be true if Catra hadn’t lived this morning a thousand times over. But even then, it still took her time to get to Brightmoon.

“Well that’s awfully convenient of you to wait until the last possible moment to try to help us. I’ve been begging for you to come to join the rebellion for years now Catra. What changed? And you haven’t told me how you even got into the castle without anyone noticing,” Adoras words were biting, angry. She had every right to be. The Catra this Adora knew was an angry and manipulating sad excuse of a person who thought of nothing but herself and her end goal.

A Catra who hadn’t seen the same day over and over again for years on end.

A Catra who hadn’t yet seen the damage of her actions. The oppressiveness of this day that had broken the Catra standing before Adora now over and over again.

The same war meeting with a yelling and bloodthirsty Hordak over and over again.

Over and over again.

The desperation, the longing, the loneliness always present.

“I’m sorry! Please stop, I can’t take it anymore! You’re always so angry with me! I’m sorry! I’m sorry,” Catra cried with finality, covering her ears with her hands as if to shield herself. Tears began to sting in her eyes. _Don’t cry, she’ll think its fake, _“I did terrible things to you and the rebellion. I did it in the name of my own selfish desires. I wish I hadn’t let those feelings take control of me, but they did and I have paid the price for them over and over and over!” Catra could feel the beginnings of panic set in.

She needed her gun.

It would calm her down. Feeling its weight in her hand would make her feel better. The cold metal would numb her nerves. Her eyes darted to the dresser across the room.

She could get to it before Adora would even know what happened.

Catras breathing got faster as she prepared herself for the fight that would come once she darted for the gun.

She needed to reset the day.

She hadn’t kept to her script.

Too many emotions.

She let too much out too fast, Adora wouldn’t believe her.

This wasn’t going right.

Nothing ever seemed to go right.

Catra needed her gun. It would help.

It was all falling ap-

A hand landed gently on Catra’s shoulder. She shot her eyes back to the source of the pressure. It was Adora. She had dropped the sword on the ground (how had Catra not heard the clang of the metal against stone?). She was touching Catra and bore eyes of sorrow and worry looking towards her.

“Hey Catra, hey, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. Look at me. I can see you spiraling. Come back to me. Breathe. In and out. Like me now. In. And out,” after a few tries, Catra finally got her breathing to stay in tune with Adoras. As she breathed, she could feel her mane that was standing on end flatten a little. Her tail slowed its incessant twitching. Finally her sense of smell came back and she breathed in the perfume that was Adora. It was calming and peaceful. It was Adora. The one Catra loved. Had known she loved all her life but took far too long to realize. The Adora that could bring Catra back from any kind of panic. Be it nightmares or thoughts of Shadow Weavers torture. After a few long moments, Catra began to think again.

It would be okay.

She had Adora. Adora would protect her and she would protect Adora. Together they were unstoppable.

Together. 

“Th-thank you Adora,” Catra said between the calming breaths, “Sorry, that panic took over really fast. You still know how to bring me down,” Catra half-smiled at Adora and Adora returned it with a real, bigger smile. It was genuine.

“Always Catra. You don’t have to prove yourself to me. The Catra I knew before would never show me this side of her. It’s good to have you back. When you’re ready let’s figure out how to beat Hordak into the dust,” Adora had this little smirk on her face now. She knew it too. Together, they were unstoppable.


	5. Chapter 5

After taking some time to allow Catra to calm down from her near panic attack, Adora left Catras side to get dressed. Catra took the time to breathe and calm herself down.

After Adora had changed out of her pajamas and into her usual attire, she left the room and was gone for 47 seconds. Catra knew Adora was looking for a guard and giving them a message to wake the castle up and get an emergency war meeting together.

When Adora came back, she busied herself with tying her hair into her usual ponytail and putting her boots on.

“Hey Adora?” Catra tried to be even toned about all this, but it came out low and tense. She had wandered over to the dress where her pistol laid on its side.

“Yes Catra? What’s up?” Adora said, not looking up while tying her boots.

“Umm… can I bring my gun to the meeting? Even if it doesn’t have bullets or anything in it. It- it’s kind of a comfort thing. Ugh that makes me sound so weak,” even after coming to this point in their conversation many times before, Catra still had a hard time bringing up her gun. She knew how crazy it sounded and had experience in how badly it would go if she didn’t handle herself correctly. But she was so tired, and now recently more fragile from her near panic attack. Looking down, she realized she was wringing her hands together nervously. She quickly stopped but realized the move was too fast. Over exaggerated.

Damn, how many times had she tried this day in a row now with no day off? A month maybe?

Yes, that’s right. 36 tries through this day but never to the final conclusion of the day.

Adora didn’t say anything until she finished the last knot on her boot like she always did, “Why do you need the gun? You’re safe here in Brightmoon. I’ll see to that. No one will hurt you here. I promise.”

“I know. It’s hard to explain. I want to wait until everyone is at the meeting to tell you all. The short of it is that the gun, this gun, _my _gun brings me comfort. It’s a reminder that I can change things even if no one else will,” Catra was letting the tiredness get to her. She knew she had the script she’d written in her brain somewhere but it wasn’t coming to her and her mouth kept moving of its own accord. Adora looked like she was seriously considering Catras request though, that gave Catra hope.

“What if I hold onto it for you then if you need it nearby? I’ll keep it safe and disarmed while we’re at the meeting. Once the fighting starts you will obviously get it back so you can help fight but for now I don’t know if holding a gun is such a good idea for you right now. You look a little jumpy.”

“What would you know about jumpy Adora?!” Catra snapped. Anger immediately flaring inside her.

Why didn’t Adora just see what Catra needed her to see? Wasn’t it obvious? She was so sick of having to explain herself all the time. The words kept coming as her heart boiled.

“I’ve been fighting this war for years now trying to keep everyone alive! I don’t even sleep anymore! I don’t dream! I only count the seconds until the next time I need to use my gun. It’s one of the only things that bring me comfort anymore and some semblance of control!” her claws had extended. Adrenalin began to pump through her body ready to fight. Her mane rose up, giving her more size.

Why doesn’t Adora ever listen to her?!

Adora just stared, mouth slightly ajar. Worry across her face at the sudden anger Catra spewed at her. Catra noticed her hand twitched for the Sword of Protection.

_No! Stop. Don’t let something small like this ruin the day._ Catra reminded herself that this Adora had never had this conversation before. That she _always _listened. Catra needed to be slow to win Adora. _She simply doesn’t know. Breathe for a few seconds._

Catra closed her eyes to block out the world and breathed. Her tail stopped flailing, claws retracted to their resting position. The adrenalin began to subside but her heart still pounded. She wrapped her arms around herself to fight off the anxiety.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean it. Once we talk to the princess alliance I hope you will understand the importance of my gun. Please Adora, nothing will happen. I just don’t think I’ll be able to think without it nearby.”

When no answer came, Catra looked back up to see Adora at her dresser, holding the pistol, turning it over in her hands. She almost cradled it. Like she already knew the importance of Catras gun.

“Okay. But I will hang on to it. All of the ammunition will stay here in the room too. I don’t want anyone to get spooked. I will also announce the gun is in the room. No secrets. But I will protect you and stay close to you so you feel safer.”

Adoras ability to compromise never ceased to amaze Catra. No wonder the sword chose her. She would protect everyone to the best of her ability even if it meant pain for herself. Catra couldn’t help smile a little as the jitters throughout her body melted away. Adora still chose to protect her. She looked up from the gun to see Catras reaction.

It was Catras turn to say something, so she went with, “thank you. Let’s get this over with. I hate talking to crowds.”

\--------

Princesses gathered in the war room. The energy was high as they all mingled and tried to figure out why Adora had called for an emergency meeting. The consensus was that there must be new movements from the Horde that might suggest an attack was coming.

Adora led Catra into the war room. Catra knew the gasps that came from the other princesses when they saw her.

_What is she doing here?_ She could hear someone say from somewhere in the room, vitriol laid on thickly. Of course they didn’t realize she could hear everyone’s voice in the room no matter how hushed.

Catra walked into the center of the room like she always did and counted down until Adora was standing at her chair in the room and explained what was going on. 65 seconds.

53 seconds. Adora gingerly lifts up the gun, explaining its existence, showing it was unloaded and safe. More worried looks floated around the room but no one spoke.

38 seconds. Perfuma is looking directly at Catra. Catra can see the worry and anger in her face. She bites her tongue to stop her from talking too soon.

25 seconds. Glimmer is giving Catra the eyes of death. So is the Queen. If only Angela knew how many of her soldiers Catra had killed. If only Glimmer knew what kind of atrocities Catra had put her friends through when she was at the bottom of her depravity and anger, hoping that one of their deaths would bring an end to her suffering. _I’ve put that behind me. I will spend the rest of my life atoning for those days even if they technically didn’t happen. I hope they can forgive me._

11 seconds. Catra began recalling the points she needed to make. It took her longer than she cared to say. She’s so exhausted. Tomorrow she would try to take the day off she decided.

4 seconds. Adoras speech ends. Catra gave them a second to process and reel. Breathe. _My gun is in Adoras lap. I have one bullet hidden in my pocket._

3 2 1

She begins before the first question leaves Queen Angelas tongue.

“I know I’m the last person any of you thought would be here but here I am nonetheless. I’m here to help you. Hordak is coming.

“I realized I’m on the wrong side of this war and now I’m here to help stop the Horde. I have knowledge on how the Horde will move and attack. Of course, none of you will trust me until I tell you something worth your while.

“I am cursed. I am cursed to live this day over and over again. I always end up right back in my bunk in the horde. It has given me knowledge though. I know the Horde is wrong and I know how to beat them and how to keep Brightmoon and all of the other kingdoms safe.”

Of course she didn’t mention she had to die in order to reset the day. It was her closest secret. Her trump card. If the wrong person knew all they had to do to end the world was keep her alive. Plus it was her out. No one ever saw it coming, it stopped unnecessary conversations and pleas to stop. Of course she had to reset when she did. Either she was already dead or she couldn’t save Adora with the time she had left.

She couldn’t risk someone getting twitchy and trying to imprison her without a quick way out. She had learned the hard way the repercussions of losing her gun. A quick death or a slow death. Didn’t matter if it was painless or not, to an extent. Knowing death was coming but wasn’t final, didn’t matter, just made Catras sanity slip. Some days she even taped her gun to her hand if she was especially shaky.

Catra took a second to pause and let her audience absorb the information and flex her shaking hand. The silence was deafening. If she didn’t have their attention before, she did now. Catra had deliberated long with herself over whether or not to tell everyone about her curse. Honesty seemed to win more trust in her experience. She never talked about exact details of her runs. They only led to more questions and inevitably ones she would rather not answer. She turned to the direction Adora was sitting to remind herself where her gun was but catching Adoras gaze gave more comfort than just knowing where her gun was. She remembered why she was there.

“Queen Angela. You want proof now, and a reason to trust me. And Perfuma you have a question to ask me. Give me a sec.”

Catra didn’t look at either woman as she began walking around the map that lay on a table in front of her. It had all of Brightmoons soldiers and battlements as well as an approximate layout of the hordes movements and numbers. In silence she began working around the table, moving the pieces to their proper positions according to her memory.

Brightmoon forces were more or less correct but she had to move some of the pieces back to their correct positions after the queen had ordered some of the battalions be improperly placed on the map before Catra and Adora had arrived. Hordaks forces took her a while longer, and she needed the extra pieces that were hiding in a compartment under the table. She knew where it was before anyone could help her. She knew this move alone began to prove her story. Once she was pleased with the layout of each army, she paused to recall more facts and tactics she needed. When she was ready, she turned to Perfuma who still hadn’t taken her eyes off of Catra.

“Entrapta is fine, Perfuma. I know you worry about her. Though I know she’s not completely happy there, she hasn’t felt like she can seek out what she needs to be fully happy yet. ‘More testing’ she would say. I hope I can end this war soon so you two can see each other again.”

Perfuma looked shocked, but then gave a small smile and nodded. Catra could practically hear her tense muscles relaxing.

Happy with her interaction with Perfuma, Catra began to tell the council before her how to act, where to put troops and where there were holes in their defense. She also went deep into detail on where the Horde would come from and the exact numbers of their forces. Everyone sat and listened.

Some were afraid at the magnitude of the blitz Hordak was planning. Some were dead serious, absorbing as much information as possible. Adora and Queen Angela watched Catra and not much else. She had to fight off the need to not look back at them. They were judging her. The validity of her story and looking for any signs of treachery. She was used to the looks. Mostly.

“I’ve fought this battle many times now. And I think I finally have it to a point where the losses are acceptable as long as everybody does what I say.”

Adora frowned at this, “Acceptable losses? I don’t like the sound of that Catra. We need to save everyone. No one should have to die.”

Oh Adora, so sweet and naïve even with her soldier training.

“This is war Adora. People die. Hordak won’t rest until there are a pile of bodies he can’t see around and then he’ll add a few more just because he can. I’ve reset this day even after winning the battle because of how badly each side faired,” _You couldn’t handle how many people die and who dies today and I couldn’t bear to watch you suffer._” She gave Adora a smile. _Everything will be okay love_. “I’ve been resetting the day to make the victory smoother and with less casualties. But it is still war, I can’t save everybody.”

Glimmers voice came sharp and angry, “And why should we trust you, _Catra_? You’ve been our enemy since forever. You’ve done awful things to nearly all of us and Adora especially. You’ve tried to kill all of us for crying out loud! Now you skip along to our castle and expect us to follow you into battle? What if this is all a trap. You’re not trustworthy.” Her arms folded in front of her just begging someone, anyone to challenge what she had said.

“You’re right Glimmer, I have done awful things. You don’t even know what kind of awful things I’ve done because they’ve never happened to any of you. But I’m trying to atone now. I know I’ll never be fully forgiven and I’ve come to terms with that but I want to be able to sleep at night again knowing I tried my best to do good and make up for my mistakes. I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you, Bow, and Adora. And to all of you,” she looked to the rest of the princesses. “Please trust me, just a little bit, for this one day. Afterwards you can judge me if you see fit. I won’t fight you.” _I’ll just reset the day and come at a different angle._ Catra could see Glimmer mulling over what she had said.

Bow spoke up next, “I didn’t even think you knew our real names Catra, I’ve never heard you say them correctly,” there was sincerity in his voice. Incredulous even. Catra was reminded of why Adora had chosen these two to be her friends. They balanced each other. Bows calmness under heat versus Glimmers hot headedness. Bows inability to make decisions versus Glimmers ride or die method. Hopefully one day she and Adora could balance each other out again like they used to. Catra longed for that. Longed to really get to know people again. But she couldn’t. Not until she knew Adora was safe and Catra didn’t need to keep resetting the day.

She didn’t think she could trust herself if she allowed herself to fully fall in love with Adora until then. She had thought at length what it meant to meet everyone again after a reset. They were the same person. But not really. They were missing bits and pieces. Catra could lose progress when she failed to say the right thing in the right way or gain it when she came up with the perfect permutation of speech. It was difficult to feel any kind of authenticity after hearing the same responses to the same statements hundreds of times. But to have to reset the day after finally hearing how Adora felt about her? It was unbearable think about.

_She’d never look at you again if she knew what you’ve done. She’ll never accept you! She will throw you away just like she did before_. The voice sounded eerily like Shadow Weavers.

Catra knew. But she had decided not to dwell on it. It would only serve to drive away her sanity that teetered even on good days.

Just then, right on schedule, a sentry can into the chamber looking rushed and out of breath. He ran up to Queen Angelas ear and whispered some information to her. She gave in a quick order before he bowed and ran out quicker than he came in. Angela looked to Catra for a few more seconds. She was making up her mind. The alarm bells began to ring from outside. Hordak was about 6000 seconds from Brightmoon.

Angela stood up, spreading her wings to make herself bigger. She never took her eyes off of Catra.

“Hordak appears to be coming just as Catra said. There are regiments moving towards each of the alliances kingdoms with the largest heading towards Brightmoon. I for one believe Catra even if my trust is thin. We will be watching you Catra, but for now I will allow you to place my troops as you see fit.

“Adora, you know Catra best, I would ask that you watch over her and make sure she doesn’t wander anywhere she shouldn’t and helps to the best of her ability. As for the rest of the princesses, we are in this together. My informant just now told me the approximate size of Hordaks forces and they all match what Catra has told us. Please consider allowing her to help. After the battle we will judge her properly. For now, I feel that we need her help more than we need her in a dungeon cell.

“Catra,” Angela looked her in the eyes, “fight well for the alliance if you truly wish to change how we feel about you,” with Angela’s speech over, she sat back down and waited for someone else to talk.

The meeting didn’t take long after that. The princesses fell in line quickly once Angela had made up her mind. They knew they needed Catra so they listened and followed. None of them were thrilled though they were told they wouldn’t be defending their own kingdoms. It was necessary to win.

Soon the meeting came to a close. Everyone bustling off to their stations to prepare as best they could until Hordak arrived. Catra waited for Adora of course. She was now Catras charge. The thought made Catra laugh inside. Just like old times.

The worry on Adoras face was new though. Since Catras revelations, she had held a look like Catra might break at any second. She must have had a million questions. Instead when they made it back to Adoras room she quickly embraced Catra and held her tight.

“It’s my turn to say sorry. I’m sorry you have to keep doing this. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be for you. Reliving the same day over and over again. I’m glad you’re here though. I want to help you.”

The butterflies in Catra stomach didn’t help her to think of what to say so she just hugged Adora tighter, enjoying the warmth and closeness.

“You didn’t really explain how you go back though. To the start of the day. Do you just, I don’t know, go back at some point?” Adora had broken the hug now but her hands were still on Catras shoulders. It was like she was looking into Catras soul.

For a moment, Catra wanted to answer Adora outright and be done with it. Then her instinct told her to lie or evade. Finally she felt something bubble inside of her. It came out of nowhere and forced her to give Adora one of her award winning smirks.

“I can’t be giving you all of my secrets away on our first date Adora.”

She could see the wheels turn inside Adoras head. She prayed she hadn’t spoken too harshly but it all melted away when Adora let out a huff of annoyance.

“Oh c’mon Catra, like I would hold secrets back from you!”

Catras smirk just grew wider, this is what she missed. This was her Adora.

“Well you’ll just have to torture it out of me, then.”

A jab from Adora in Catras side made her laugh as she knew it was on.

“But you’ll have to catch me before you can get me to talk!” she leaped out of Adoras arms and gave her a challenging look. _Come and get me if you want me_.

Another huff out of Adora and she gave chase. The two bounded across Adoras room for far longer than they should have, laughing and giggling. Catra definitely didn’t let Adora catch her and definitely didn’t let her tickle Catra to tears.

Today was different. Maybe she wouldn’t have to reset and bring herself back to the castle to endure the cold stares. Catra could feel it. For the first time in a long time, she didn’t want to have to reset the day.

The two women bounced around and chased each other all the way into the courtyard where Swift Wind waited for them. On their way to Frostas castle, conversation came easy, they talked and the two caught up. Catra had heard it all before but she would never tell Adora. Hearing her talk melted Catras anxiety away. Being able to hug her from behind while on Swift Wind was amazing. The ride felt like it only lasted minutes before they landed and got ready for Hordaks forces to arrive.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whats this?? a cheeky chapter sliding in out of nowhere?
> 
> Yeah, the last chapter felt a bit too short to just upload the one so enjoy two chapters!
> 
> Also there's a small amount of fluff at the end of this one and I'm excited to share it with everyone! Enjoy!

The battle went exactly how Catra had said it would. Large numbers of tanks, foot soldiers and robots found their way to each of the Princesses kingdoms. Each kingdom was graced with different types of weaponry, specifically designed to attack the city and princess they had attacked. But with Catras knowledge, the wrong (according to the Horde at least) princess would be waiting for them at the city gates. Frostas’ powers lent wonderfully to the open seas of Mermistas Castle. Perfuma easily dealt with the tanks that came out of the whispering woods at Brightmoon. She-Ra’s raw strength and Catras knowledge of where to let Adora let lose laid waste to the fleet that entered Frostas domain. Mermista and Glimmer dispatched the troops sent to burn down Perfumas home by hiding in the trees and teleporting to streams when Mermista needed water. Netossa and Spinnerella simply had to trade kingdoms for the day. They hated being apart but every castle needed a princess helping.

The Horde never knew what hit them.

Adora loved the feeling of fighting next to Catra again. She could feel the bond that tied them together. Something she hadn’t felt in so long. They had spent a long time fighting each other and Adora worried they wouldn’t find their groove but as soon as the fight started, they moved like a well-oiled machine. Catra was clearly a leader now, the way she carried herself and how she spoke firmly but compassionately and never made crazy demands. Adora followed her every word. It felt good. Adora could tell Catras old hatred of being her shadow was a thing of the past. _She’s probably had a long time to think about it_.

She-Ra was a being of power and strength. She could cut a tank in half like it was nothing and nothing could break her defense. Catra was completely different. She used her small size and agility to either not give the enemy a chance to fight back or effortlessly dodge their weapons in a beautiful dance. Catra never needed to defend herself because she never let herself be attacked in a way that wouldn’t give her an advantage. Adora wondered how much of it was muscle memory and how much of it was raw talent she had accrued during her time loops.

Catra also fought like a rebel. Mostly. She almost never killed but instead, relied on incapacitating her enemies and leaving her gun at her hip much to Adoras delight. She feared Catra would be trigger happy trying to finish the fight as quickly as possible.

That would have been Adoras strategy though. Power through it. Catra methodically won her battles with patience and maneuverability like she always had. She was a brilliant strategist.

The only time Adora saw her raise her gun, was to shoot a horde soldier that somehow snuck up on Adora as she fought. Catra was a hundred feet away when it happened. Adora was fending off a large sentry robot while a soldier sneaking around some rocks and ice, waiting for the right opportunity to strike. Just as they leaped out from their hiding spot, a crack echoed through Adoras mind. Whipping around she saw the soldier slump to the ground and off in the distance Adora could see Catra with her gun raised.

She had a cold look to her face. No emotions at all. Just killing in that moment. Adora shivered at the site. This was the side of Catra Adora feared. The side she’d fought for years. Like when Catra had left her to die hanging off the cliff in Light Hope’s temple. Like the look she gave Adora when she almost pulled the lever to open the portal powered by She-Ras sword. No remorse, only gaining victory in that moment. 

They stared at each other for what felt like eons before Catra lowered the pistol and jumping at another Horde soldier, bringing them down with a quick jab to their sternum with the butt of the gun. Adora didn’t have to look to know they were still breathing. By the end of the fight Adora realized Catra only killed to save Adora. It even meant she took a few nasty hits herself just to bring down an enemy without killing them.

Nobody could disagree that without Catra, the alliance would have suffered a crushing defeat. Instead it was a glorious victory for the princess alliance with negligible damage to each kingdom. Not many innocent people had to die.

By the time the fight was over Adora could feel longing for her friend like a fire in her chest. She wanted to sooth the pains she knew Catra held close to herself. Catra had been so open with every fact pertaining to the battle and trying to help, but utterly silent about any specifics of how she knew what she knew. Adora could only assume it was because that was just how Catra was as much as a symptom of her time travels. She hoped she could slowly expel those demons if Catra allowed her. Catra always had a hard time showing vulnerability. Instead, showing anger or deflection. The Horde had done well to train her to force silly things like emotions and trauma in a bottle and throw them away deep in her mind. Adora wanted to help Catra bring those memories to the surface so she could heal. She also didn’t know exactly how long Catra had lived this day. It was a long time if she took a guess.

With the fight over, Adora dropped her She-Ra form and sheathed her sword. Where had Catra gone?

It only took a few minutes, before she found Catra. She was kneeling next to a Horde soldier. They looked to be a woman. She was leaning against a tree, blood having dried from a cut somewhere on her head. Adora heard a laugh. It was Catras laugh. It sang through her head. Walking up to the two, Adora could see Catra and the soldier were talking. And holding hands? Or rather Catra was grasping the soldier’s hands. They were conversing. A pang of jealousy came through Adora but she shoved it down, and chose instead to feel the elation at she had at the sound of Catras laugh.

“Hey Catra. Who is this?” Adora said, as she approached the two women.

“This is Alex. I found her here bleeding but alive. She’s going to be fine but I think I’ll need your help to get her to a medic.”

“Uhh... Yeah of course. How do you two know each other? I don’t remember seeing her around the Horde while I was still there.”

Alex had looked up by now and realized who Adora was. A scowl formed on her face.

“So this is the great Adora. Or is it She-Ra now? A traitor to the Horde,” anger not veiled in the slightest. Adora knew this was how everyone in the Horde felt about her. Even Catra had been that way for so long. Didn’t mean she ever got used to it though.

Adora glared at the soldier, trying to hide the hurt, before Catra came to her aid.

“Don’t talk to her like that. She’s going to help save your life. We could just leave you out here to die in the cold,” Catra said, very firmly. It seemed to shut Alex up. then catra turned her head to Adora, “No, you never met her. I uhh… met her within the last few weeks. Just seeing her around the Fright Zone ya know? I saw her injured here and needed to make sure she was okay until we could find a medic.”

Catra was telling Adora that she only knew this soldier from her time loops. Adora wondered why this soldier seemed important to Catra. But she was happy, so that made Adora happy even if the soldier was technically the enemy.

But, who really was the enemy anymore? Adora had begun to wonder that in the last months. Everybody had a choice to be good or bad. Catra was proof that someone could switch from one to the other with ease.

...

Following the victory of the battle and another war meeting, Catra had been forgiven for her crimes. The battle would have gone very badly if she hadn’t come to help, and that was redeeming enough to the queen. She even allowed Catra to even walk freely throughout the castle and have her own room, just down the hall from Adora of course, for protection, but Adora also heard something else in Angelas voice as she spoke. Something like happiness? Maybe it was something maternal that Adora had no concept of. It didn’t matter. Catra was safe in Brightmoon now. An ally to the Rebellion. Adora was delighted that her friend wouldn’t have to stay in the dungeon and a court hearing wasn’t necessary. She still had a lot of questions for Catra, as well as a lot of confusing feelings. As the meeting came to a close Glimmer shot up from her chair with fire in her eyes.

“I think we need to celebrate! This is the greatest victory the rebellion has had in years! Let’s have a party!”

At this Bow got stars in his eyes as well and jumped up next to Glimmer and the two began forming plans for the party to come. Adora knew the looks they gave, they wouldn’t stop until they got what they wanted. No one had any say in it of course and everyone was invited. Including Catra to Adoras delight.

Catra had stayed quiet the whole meeting. She seemed preoccupied, but also alert to everything. Like she was analyzing everyone around her. Adora could see Catras ears flick at every sound, every movement, her tail swishing wildly at times that Adora knew to be concentration. Or unease. If Adora knew Catra less, the display would have creeped her out a little. However she probably only saw what Catra was doing because she’d known Catra for so long.

“I can’t find any reason to stay mad at you now. You really helped us today and I can’t see any ulterior motives you could have for giving the Horde such a crushing defeat. I’m sorry I doubted you,” Glimmer seemed genuinely sorry for what she had said about Catra earlier in the morning. It warmed Adoras heart that Glimmer was trying to be nice to Catra.

The words seemed to bring catra back from wherever she had gone, her tail stilled as she seemed to think of the proper answer, “Don’t sweat it Glitter. But don’t think I won’t still try to terrorize you. You know old habits and all that,” Catra gave with a shit eating grin forming on her face. Of course she would ruin it. But it still gave everyone except Glimmer a good laugh. Catra just seemed to revel in her and Glimmers pseudo rivalry. It made Adora happy to see her old friend throwing around genuine banter and not hateful things.

“I take it all back! I hate you!” now everyone was laughing. Even Glimmer seemed to be having trouble keeping her angry face on. A smile trying to erupt from the frown she was throwing at Catra.

\----

The party was set for that evening. The servants of Brightmoon worked hard all day so that everyone would have a good time. They did not disappoint. It was on par with princess prom.

It never ceased to amaze Adora how quickly Brightmoon could turn from an impenetrable fortress to having a kingdom wide party in the span of twelve hours. She had lived amongst these people for a long time now but she still loved their authenticity and real happiness. It had helped her through many hard times.

Adora mingled with Perfuma, Bow and Glimmer. The party had started a while ago and she still hadn’t seen Catra around. Maybe she decided not to come. Adora couldn’t fault her for that. She seemed to have a lot on her mind but still felt a pang of sadness at the thought of not getting to see her friend at the party tonight.

“Oh hey there’s Catra! Hey Catra, over here!” Bow was now waving his arms ecstatically over his head trying to get Catra to notice him as she entered the grand hall.

Adoras heart all but stopped at the sight of Catra. She was in a suit like she had worn at the princess prom. She couldn’t see Catra in anything other than a suit though really. A dress on Catra? That would have been a joke for the ages. No, Catra was stunning. Gone were her gloves and trademark headband though. She seemed so much more mature now. Regal even. It seemed like she was genuinely trying to look nice.

Seeing Bow, she smiled before walking over to the group. Adora was transfixed the entire time. It wasn’t until Catra was right in front of Adora that she was able to blink out of her trance and smile back at Catra. Crap had her mouth been open the entire time?

“Hey Adora. Hey guys,” Catra said, looking at Adora, then at everyone and then quickly back to Adora, “you clean up well Adora, I almost didn’t recognize you without your Horde jacket on.”

Was that a flirt thinly disguised as a jab? Adora wasn’t sure but she liked it either way she decided. She took it in stride, twirling a little bit to let the dress she was in fan out a little bit.

“Ahh well you know, I have to wash that thing sometimes and I had to wear something right?”

Catra just kind of stood there in silence, eyes widening a bit, tail twitching like she was thinking hard. Had Adora just out witted Catra? That was next to impossible to do, she always had a snappy comeback. But the look on her face and her silence told Adora that she had won that round. Catra looked adorable.

“Ahem” came from one of the other people standing around in their circle. Adora had forgotten they were there at all. She snapped out of her trance and looked back to see everyone was looking at herself and Catra. Heat rose to her cheeks as the attention became suffocating.

Bow mercifully ended the silence by announcing they should dance or find something to eat. Everyone agreed and the awkwardness dissipated.

Mermista and Frosta came even later than Catra had. They seemed to be fretting over how the other dealt with their fights earlier in the day. Mermista didn’t like how much of her city Frosta had frozen solid. Frosta just shrugged saying ‘all’s fair in love and war’ which was a weird thing for a 14 year old to say.

The group talked and ate and had a wonderful time. Catra even made a few good jokes that won some real laughs out of the princesses. It didn’t take her long though to start telling everyone embarrassing stories about Adora from when they were kids. She could feel her cheeks were bright red by the time Catra had gotten through the third awful story she had logged away to blackmail Adora with at some point in her life.

_Two can play at this game._

Adora launched herself into her own dirt on Catra. Oh there was plenty. Everyone learned how much Catra hated mice and that shut her up for good. She was still smiling though. It seemed like she was enjoying herself.

Later into the evening, as they all talked and joked, Catra started on into a story she had on Bow.

“Oh man you should have seen his face when that guy came out of the tent and saw him! It was priceless! Hah!” Catra was loving her story but it died after a second when she saw no one else was laughing with her.

“Uhh I don’t remember any of that Catra,” Bow said with a bit of a worried look on his face. He nervously rubbed the back of his head.

The silence at the table mounted. Adora could see the happiness drain from Catras face. Her ears dropped and she looked down at her hands under the table.

“Oh. Right. Sorry. You uhh- never lived that day. I gotta go,” Catra stood up and left the table without hearing another word, chair scraping loudly against the tile floor.

The dance hall suddenly seemed so empty without Catra around.

\-----

It didn’t take long for Adora to find Catra. She was in the highest balcony of the castle. Adora spent a moment just looking at Catra from the doorway. She was leaning against the railing looking out to Brightmoon. Her mane shimmered in the moonlight.

“I know you’re there Adora. Don’t look at me like I’m broken,” said Catra without even turning around.

Some insecurities never die it seemed.

Adora walked to stand next to Catra. She noticed Catra was turning the gun over in her hands. Just looking at it, there appeared to be no ammunition in it.

At least she had brought it unarmed, but that didn’t stop the worry from creeping in and washing adoras brain with bad thoughts. She tried to shove them away and decided to look out at the view the balcony allowed.

Adora knew not to pressure Catra into talking. It she was going to talk, she’d do it in her own time. If not, Adora hoped her presence would at least be calming for Catra. She couldn’t help but steal glances occasionally (a lot) as she took in the view outside of the balcony.

“You know I was able to win the battle of Brightmoon from the rebels’ side on the first try. I had already fought the battle hundreds of times on the Hordes side. By the second try I knew I only needed two clips of ammo to get me through the day instead of five. I’m the only person in history who’s fought the same battle from both sides on the same day. Fancy that,” catra said flatly, gun still moving from one hand to the other, like it was uncomfortably hot. or cold. Adora didn’t dare say anything and waited, hoped, catra would continue.

Thankfully she did, “I will admit that the victory was messy and not without unnecessary losses. Frosta died that day. Just a kid fighting in a war she didn’t start. That none of us started. I tried to continue on but her death weighed on me by how you all reacted to it. At that time I thought the best way was to not tell anyone I had been looping. I reset the day after her funeral. It had snowed. Fitting yet cruel,” the gun twirling stopped and Catra gripped the gun hard, knuckles white, as if remembering something.

“I don’t even remember when the story about Bow even happened anymore. It was a long time ago. I tried coming over to the rebel’s side after the battle. I eventually got it to work but it took months’ worth of resets. I just remember faces and the scenario now. How many steps each person took during that few minutes I can still remember. I knew how many seconds they all had left before they died,” a sob left Catra, gun shaking in her hand now at the intensity of her grip. Was she really crying in front of Adora right now? “The war isn’t over Adora. Today’s battle was meaningless. Now we all have less resources and we won’t even get time to lick our wounds before we have to fight again. I haven’t made it this far in the day before, trying things like this I mean. I don’t know which steps to take now. What to count. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so tired.”

Adoras mind buzzed with the information dump she had just received. She tried to categorize it and figure out the best solution, the best question to ask. Another sob roused her though. None of it mattered. Catra was back and Adora would do anything for her, and now it seemed Catra needed Adoras shoulder to cry on.

She put everything aside and enveloped Catra in a hug. Catra continued to cry and Adora gave her everything she had into the hug. She hoped she was conveying how much she cared for Catra and how much she wanted Catra to stop hurting so much. It took too long, but Catra calmed down and Adora slowly, regretfully, slid away out of the hug and back to standing next to Catra. She stayed close enough so that their arms were brushing though.

“We’ll figure it out you know. Tell me in your own time what we still need to do and I’ll be right there with you. I hope you know you’re never getting rid of me again,” a mischievous smile came to her face and she turned to Catra. “Don’t get all soft and mushy on me now. We each get 5 minutes of cry baby time a day,” Catra looked back with a smile on her face. Her eyes were puffy and red but the smile was genuine, “c’mon, let’s get you to bed, I think you need rest more than getting drunk with our friends.”

Adora stretched out her hand to Catra and waited. Catra slowly gave her hand to Adora who squeezed it gently and lead them away from the balcony and back to Adoras room. It went unsaid that they didn’t want to sleep in separate rooms.

They changed in silence and crawled into bed together. Adora got under the covers and faced Catra who was staring back at her. They stared for a while, enjoying the quiet and each other’s company. Knees would bump occasionally and toes brushed. A tail found its way to Adoras waist and draped over it, relaxed. Adora couldn’t remember the last time she was this happy. It was just like back in the Fright Zone before everything happened. Her heart beat faster. She was so glad her friend was back.

“Hey Catra, can I ask you a question? You don’t need to answer it if you don’t want to, I understand,” Catra just stared, waiting for her question, “umm... How old are you now? We used to be within 6 months of each other. I guess technically we still are. But you know what I mean,” she trailed off hoping she didn’t say too much.

Catra closed her eyes and stayed that way for a while. Adora began to think she had fallen asleep when she finally answered, “I couldn’t tell you. I should be 19. But really, I’m probably more like 25 now if I were to take a stab at how many days I’ve lived. It took me that long to get back into bed with you,” she smirked with a sharp tooth sticking out. Adora smiled, oh it was on now.

“What can I say? I guess I’m just into older woman. Who knew right?” they both started snickering and giggling at that. Adoras heart soared at the sound of Catras giggles. How her nose crinkled up and how her ears would lie flat against her head. She missed this. Them. It was like she had found a missing piece of herself she didn’t quite know was missing until Catra came back into her life.

Soon they calmed down, closing their eyes, bidding sleep to take them.

“Goodnight Adora.”

“Goodnight Catra.”

Adora decided to take a chance and lay her arm around Catras waist. She just wanted a little more contact. When no complaints came, Adora let herself exhale the breath she didn’t know she was holding. She could feel her body relax now. Muscles and knots became putty at the feeling of Catras fur. Her smell. Adora lulled into the deepest sleep she’s had in a very long time. She hoped the same was true for Catra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always let me know what you think! I love reading your comments no matter how long or short.
> 
> See you next week! (or maybe sooner who knows? tee-hee)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! I hope everyone is having a good week. 
> 
> I’m thinking about keeping to the two chapters every five days from here on out. I want to finish uploading chapters before the end of October so I can prepare my body for season 4. There’s also some neat things in the story that have more meaning to me having written them before season 4 airs. 
> 
> That being said, keep an eye out for little tidbits like that and also throw backs to earlier in the story. This is a time loop fic so there’s a lot of looping involved. 
> 
> Insert ugly laugh.
> 
> Sorry, bad pun but I hope you know what I mean.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think at the end!

Catra came to consciousness slowly. Her bunk seemed abnormally soft and…bright? She could smell Adora. It had been a long time since she smelled Adora in her pillow. Sighing, she took another deep breath before she opened her eyes.

648 seconds until Hordak would call for her.

Opening her eyes, she expected to see the cold looking metal of the ceiling in the bunk room. Instead it was bright, the day moons shining in through… the balcony door? Since when did the bunk room have a balcony?

Looking around more, Catra started to remember where she was. This wasn’t the Fright Zone. She was in Brightmoon. It was a new day. She hadn’t reset yesterday at all. It had been a while since she had a real night’s sleep that her body created itself and not the weird restlessness that always overtook her when she woke up after a reset.

Feeling movement next to her, she noticed that it came from Adora. It looked like she was turning over where she slept. Maybe starting to wake up at Catras movements. She realized what an amazing night’s sleep she had. No dreams. No nightmares. Just deep restful sleep in the arms of Adora. She was safe with Adora.

Before she knew it she was purring. Completely against her will but she didn’t stop it. Adora was the only person who had ever made her feel safe and happy enough to purr. There was a good chance Adora the only person who knew she could purr. It was a vulnerability thing. Adora probably wouldn’t know either if they hadn’t known each other for so long.

Scorpia and Entrapta had come close a few times but it was always ruined by a reset. Once Catra began to let herself express some emotions beside anger, she was able to come to terms with how much the two women had been there for her and how much they meant to her. She would try to show some happiness towards them to show her gratitude. It was difficult and rough at first but eventually she was able to learn how to hang out and be happy and not talk about defeating the rebellion or Adora.

Catra missed her friends.

“Mmm, g’morning Catra.”

Catra came back to the present and looked over to see a very sleepy Adora looking back at her. Her angelic hair going in a million different directions. God Catra loved it. She smiled.

“Top o’ the morning to you Ms. Bed Head. If your hair has any say in it, I’d say you slept well.”

“Ahh shuddap you’re one to talk. Look in a mirror recently? You’re mane looks like a squirrel made a nest in it,” Adora started laughing at her own joke.

The two women continued their banter as they woke up and got dressed. Just like old times.

Making their way to breakfast, they found Bow and Glimmer were already up and chatting away.

“Hey, good morning you guys,” Adora announced as she and Catra walked over to them with trays of food.

Catra certainly liked the look of the food here in Brightmoon. First of all it had colors other than grey like the crap ration bars the Horde used to keep everyone fed. And it had actual meat! Meat that Catra could sink her teeth into and really chomp down on. She was looking forward to this meal.

The four conversed for a while. Talking about the party and how much fun everyone had.

“So where did you guys end up last night? We never saw either of you once you left Catra,” Bow said wiggling his eyebrows like an ass between both Catra and Adora, his eyes sombered up after a moment before settling on Catra, “I hope you’re doing better by the way, I don’t want you to feel bad about you’re story or anything,” Bow said, between bites of his. What was it again? An omelet? Catra made a note to try one if she got the chance. It looked really good, and it had meat in it too! Right, Bow was waiting for an answer and Adora wasn’t saying anything.

“Thanks. My brain gets a little jumbled sometimes. We ended up on the balcony in the high tower,” Catra said matter-of-factly. She hoped they wouldn’t pry too much into her and Adoras conversation. She wasn’t ready for anyone other than Adora to know what Catra had told her. Her gun suddenly became a weight on her hip reminding her it was there.

“Ooh the highest balcony in the castle? How romantic,” Glimmer said, just loving messing with Catra and Adora, spoon in hand that she was waving around a bit, “you guys were up there for a long time. And I happened to notice your room was dark and the door was wide open when I went to go to bed,” she had said it directly to Catra, a devilish smirk on her face. It didn’t seem mean, but there was an air about it that Catra couldn’t put a finger on. Wait, romantic?

There was a sputtering as Adora seemed to forget how to drink whatever was in the glass she was working on and began coughing. She attempted to come to Catras aid once her fit ended.

“Whoa hey, we were just up there talking,” Adora tried to say nonchalantly and failing badly, “we haven’t seen each other in a long time and it was nice to catch up. Sorry if you thought we ditched you or something,” always the hero trying to make everyone feel better even when it wasn’t necessary.

Catra could see a blush forming on Adoras cheeks. Oh boy she was floundering. She tried to come with something to say to help the poor girl.

“Yeah we just talked. Only talking and nothing else,” _smooth dumbass._ Neither Bow nor Glimmer seemed satisfied. They must have realized neither Catra nor Adora had elaborated on the staying in the same room part. Honestly Catra wanted to move on from this conversation now. Talking about her feelings for Adora were completely off the table. She couldn’t let herself get distracted until she knew Adora was safe.

That’s right. The mission.

“I’m not here to talk about romantic balconies,” Catra continued seriously, completely dropping the old conversation, “I still need all of your help. I may not have given you all the entire story yesterday during the first war meeting,” the other three turned their heads and locked onto Catra. It suddenly felt something like Shadow Weaver herself was staring at her, demanding an answer to some question she had asked Catra. She fought a suddenly rising heart rate.

Adora also seemed a bit disappointed in the change in conversation but she tried to hide it. Too bad Catra had so much experience in reading her true feelings. Maybe Adora did want to talk about romantic balconies and which room they slept in together.

Hopefully someday Catra would feel like she would be able to open up to Adora about her feelings. She owed it to Adora after everything she had done for Catra, to know how much Catra loved Adora. She would, had, died for her without a second thought. Catras love went deeper than taking bullets for Adora. She was the reason Catra kept fighting, kept living, kept trying to do better. She had kept Catra alive during their childhood and now it was her turn to keep Adora alive. She may have turned away from Catra for a while when she deserted the Horde but it wasn’t truly her fault. She had simply been enlightened to the atrocities the Horde committed to try to gain victory. She never truly left Catra. Time had shown Catra again and again that Adora would _always _choose her. Never once had she faltered in a way that felt like true abandonment to Catra.

Catra hoped against hope that maybe this Adora, the person sitting next to her right now would be the last Adora she had to reconcile with. They had grown together so much the night before, Catra wanted to fight harder than ever to try not to have to reset the day. So far this run had gone perfectly. Time would tell if her luck would hold out or if she’d have to take a bullet to the dome one more time. She could see Bow, Glimmer, and Adora staring at her still, none of them had said anything. Catra took it as a sign to continue.

“I didn’t say anything yesterday because truthfully it would have eaten too much time and wasn’t completely necessary. But now that the battle is over, its time you three at least know the real reason I’m here. It wasn’t to help defeat Hordak. It’s to save Etheria,” Catra told her story.

Etheria dies. Everyone dies.

No matter what she does, it never works.

That’s why she’s in Brightmoon now, it’s another avenue to try. And a way to reconcile with the people she’s hurt but Catra doesn’t say that part out loud. She’s out of ideas and Entrapta hadn’t been able to help for a long time, none of her technology could detect what happened to the planet. Maybe someone in the rebellion could help. With She-Ras help, maybe Catra could stop whatever happens. The Best Friend Squad sat, letting her speak without interruption. It was a lot to take in obviously but the timer was ticking so they needed to move fast.

Three days she told them. 259,200 seconds until she was forced to reset and try again.

Adora definitely hated hearing that part. Catra could see the fire behind her eyes light and the gears in her mind began to turn. It made Catras heart flutter knowing it was her absolute time limit that put Adora into gear and not the whole Etheria dying part. It was selfish but she didn’t have a lot to be happy about these days so she took it and locked it away in her heart for safe keeping.

Glimmer spoke up once Catra was finished talking.

“That’s awful. And terrifying. What’s the plan then? You must have some kind of plan Catra.”

“Actually I don’t. Like at all. That’s why I’m here, otherwise I’d be working towards that solution. This is my first time trying to solve the problem like this. From the rebellions side that is. I’ve exhausted everything I can think of from the Hordes side. I.e. Entrapta. I’m hoping you guys might now where we might be able to start,” Catra shrugged at this. It was not the most effective way to attack a problem, but she had to start somewhere. She would reset if she had to in order to get more time. She would hate it to lose Adora again but it was all to make her safe.

They bounced ideas around for a while. After which Adora thought about getting help from her mentor. Apparently she knew a lot about Etheria and first ones technology. Everything was run by first ones tech.   
“Maybe Light Hope can help us,” _Light Hope? What kind of name is that?_

Bow and Glimmer agreed though, so this was the plan.

\-----

After breakfast and gathering supplies (ammo for Catras gun), Catra and Adora left Brightmoon for the Whispering woods. Catra had no idea where they were going but Adora seemed to know the way very well.

_Wait that’s the same rock as 20 minutes ago. _

“Darn it. Sorry, I guess I lost my concentration and led us back to this spot. Give me a minute and we can keep going,” Adora said, looking a bit shyly at Catra. It was so cute.

“Yeah. That’s fine, I could use a quick break myself,” Catra was in fact ready to pop. The thought of maybe getting answers to her long standing questions gave her a perpetual heightened sense of things. She didn’t want anything to get between her and her goal.

Except Adora needed a break. The old Catra would have egged Adora on, or guilt tripped her into continuing, but what was before she had learned to respect other people’s feelings. Adoras were the last she wanted to toy with. Catra was already forced to do enough manipulation in her runs to get what she needed. Plus, Adora was the guide after all. If they were in fact going in circles, Adora was calm and seemed to know what was going on. Catra knew she could trust Adora to guide them where they needed to go. _Patience. Breathe. _

Catra waited until Adora was ready. When she was they continued on their journey. Only 5 minutes later they arrived at the First Ones temple Catra had snuck into a couple of times.

Once inside, Adora led them to a larger room, higher in the temple.

“Adora. It is good to see you again, are you ready for another lesson?” said a flat tone voice. It had no emotion in it.

A twelve foot tall purple _transparent_ woman stood before them. She looked very intimidating yet friendly. _Don’t mess with her_.

“Hi, Light Hope. No. I’m here for something else. I have some questions for you about the First Ones,” Adora said.

“What is your query?”

Catra really didn’t like how Light Hope seemingly gazed right into her soul. It was unsettling. She had to bite her tongue to stop from hissing.

“This is my friend, Catra. You already know her from our talks but you’ve never met her formerly. She knows the world is going to end in just a few day. We’re trying to figure out what could cause this,” Adora was speaking very clearly and directly at Light Hope. Giving just enough to avoid questions that might probe into Catra. It seemed to be a practiced form of talking Adora upheld, talking to Light Hope.

“Yes, your friend here, Catra, might know of things to come. Her body is saturated in time anomaly particles. She is a time traveler,” the answer sounded like it came directly from a computer. It almost stung how direct she was.

“I already know that. What could destroy the planet in less than 24 hours?”

“There are many things that can destroy life on a planet. Please refine your query,” Light Hope said, her expression never changing.

Adora turned her head to Catra to give Light Hope information. So far Catra had kept very tight lipped about how exactly the world dies. She didn’t like thinking about it. She spent too long trying to survive the cold. But now she had to dredge up how it felt to have the world die around her. She took a breath, and looked down getting ready to explain her nightmares. A familiar pressure found its way to Catras shoulder. It was Adora. Her hand squeezed Catras shoulder before tracing down her arm and gently placing it in Catras hand.

She was here for Catra. She could tell how hard this was going to be for Catra. She knew how to comfort Catra so she would be able to open up about the trauma she had dealt with in her life.

It helped immensely.

“It got cold. 4:35 in the afternoon when the second moon is waning and low in the sky. The moonlight slowly left,” Catra almost spoke in the same tone as Light Hope, she didn’t want emotion to get in the way and she absolutely couldn’t forget anything that seemed important, “the moons all dimmed until there was nothing left. No light. Absolutely nothing. Observations show the moons still exist but no light comes from them. Then it begins to cool at an even 3 degrees per hour until hitting the frost point at which it slows to 0.64 degrees per hour. Seemingly indefinitely. I’ve never survived to see the temperature stabilize or warm up.

“The Runestones slowly fade as well. It takes 5 days for their magic to completely dissipate. Nothing anyone does can rouse the magic back. They seem to become a normal quartz crystalline precipitate. Giant useless hunks of rock.

“All of the princesses in the alliance lose their power as the runestones fade. The timing implies correlation but we don’t have any hard evidence to support that.”

Catra had spent a _lot _of time with Entrapta in her time learning the geniuses’ computer language. She had taught Catra many concepts on science and magic. They had used both to study as much of the planet as they could as it died. Catra had to memorize everything since her mind was the only place that information could be stored. No journal. No paper. Not even notes left in her mouth could come back with her when she reset the day. Entrapta had hypothesized tattoos might go back with Catra. She wasn’t too thrilled about that hypothesis. That’s why it took so long to learn the language. But she ended up with a thorough understanding of Etherian magic and First Ones technology. She could argue with Entrapta for days about it now. Those were fun times spent in between taking data points.

“The data you give eliminates many possibilities. The most likely being an interruption in the Heart of Etherias connection to its power source. Such anomalies occur sometimes in the power it generates but it never loses its connection completely. Because of Etherias isolation in the Despondos dimension, there are no stars to give energy to Etheria. The Heart of Etheria and by proximity, the Runestones, are the only things that bring energy and light to the planet. If the connection were to be severed, it is likely the planet would not continue to support life for long.”

There was a long pause. Catra could see how there was a central hub from which all of the energy on Etheria flowed from. The runestones were mostly exit points according to Entrapta. The Heart seemed to be where the energy came from. Without anything else to provide light and energy to the planet, the Heart of Etheria was the only thing keeping everyone alive. Entrapta had hypothesized that objects of great size and energy, stars, were how planets outside Despondos stayed alive, but obviously, Etheria didn’t have one. If they could find where it was, if it was where the problems originated from, maybe they could figure out what happens to it and how to stop it.

But how would one find the source of all energy for an entire planet? Wouldn’t it give off ridiculous amounts of energy? The energy needed would have been picked up by Entrapta by now. Unless it was still something out of her knowledge on First Ones technology. Maybe they could use the runestones and use them as a back door and back track to the source.

Then how they get to the Heart itself? Etheria was filled with first ones technology. Etheria was basically built by the First Ones. That means someone had to be able get to different parts of it to fix them if something went wrong. Catra had to hope that was the case.

“Where is the Heart then? That seems like the first place to look then.”

“Error. That data corrupted. Please ask another query.”

_Of course it is, it’s never that easy_.

“Maybe the runestones can help us then. Can you track where they get their energy from? That may lead us in the right direction.”

“Perhaps. Many data points would be needed as the Heart moves throughout the planets interior to move energy evenly throughout. The data you have on the runestones within your storage banks would be adequate. Permission to download and analyze?”

Catra had to look at Adora for that question. What was Light Hope getting at? It sounded like computer language jargon Entrapta used for her data crunching. Adora seemed to know what was going on and answered Catras look.

“Think of Light Hope as a really good control console from the Fright Zone. She’s incredibly fast and thorough but there’s no creativity like you and I have. She also has the ability to scan your thoughts and memories. That’s how she uhh… trapped us here the first time and we saw our younger selves,” Adora finished a bit quietly, like she wasn’t sure if those memories were okay to bring up.

“I don’t how much I like the sound of that. But it has to be done I guess. Okay. Light Hope, I give you permission.”

Catra felt like her soul was sucked out from her ears. Memories, thoughts, ghosts. She knew Light Hope was only analyzing what information she needed but she apparently had to bring up everything in her mind in order to get what she needed.

What Catra hadn’t thought would happen was everything Light Hope was scanning was appearing all over the room in hovering video form. Some fast forwarded rapidly, others came at an almost normal pacing.

_Adora._

She could see Adora take in the sights around her. Against Catras will, the entirety of her time loops came into view for Adora to see.

It was already happening. Catra couldn’t go back now. She had to watch her past.

…

The beginning as she figured out what was happening to her. Her anger. The fighting. It had been almost a year after the portal incident. She’d never given up on the hatred and fear she felt during that debacle. She didn’t know what else to feel.

Trying to tell Hordak. He decided to experiment on her. She only tried that once. No one came to her rescue.

The desperation. Doing whatever she could think of to try to end the time loops. Nothing worked. She quietly fell into insanity as the days passed and everyone always acted the same damn way.

Killing Adora. Killing Adoras friends. Destroying Brightmoons runestone. Destroying all of the runestones. Killing anybody that had a connection to Catra and the state of Etheria. The smell of blood and the feeling of it between her fingers. The hopelessness as nothing she did changed the outcome. Everybody always acted the _exact_ same way.

The days where all she did was wait in bed for death to take her again. Nothing she did changed her fate. The cold took her many times.

Through all this time, her gun had become her closest friend. She wouldn’t let anyone in for fear of showing her vulnerability and how they might react to her. Time had shown again and again that no one was on her side. But her gun always understood and did what she asked. Soon though, it felt like even her gun had betrayed her when she kept waking up in her bunk.

She had tried many creative ways to end her curse when the wishes she made to her gun went unanswered. Drowning was her least favorite. It was the water in her eyes that got her.

The morning she woke up thinking of old times. Adora and her when they were younger. Very brief moments of happiness that her friends had given Catra. Maybe death wasn’t the right solution, maybe living was.

She started by getting out of bed every morning. She began to learn. Could get things to go her way by knowing everything going on around her. Using resets to find the right path, the right things to say and do to get people to do what she wanted. At first the power trip was amazing. She took advantage of it more than a few times, falling into old habits.

It got old though. She started to feel more and more isolated. She longed for genuine expressions that she hadn’t already seen before. Anger and defensiveness grew inside her again like cancer. Dialing back the script and what she told people helped immensely. 

Growing closer to Scorpia and Entrapta. Deciding to learn from them. What it meant to be a real friend and how to put her smarts to use in creative ways that weren’t destructive and manipulative.

For the first time since even before Adora left, she felt at peace. Her heart filled and she realized how much she’d needed it. She had taken advantage of Adoras heart when she still lived in the Fright Zone, never learning how to make herself happy.

Working with the Horde and the alliance to study everything she could. Regrettably she found that fighting the battle with Brightmoon was the fastest way to get the war to stop so she could work. That’s when she got so good at fighting. The more efficient she was, the faster the battle was over, the more time she and Entrapta had to study. She was fast before, but after, she was nearly impossible to hit.

Nights spent memorizing everything she found. Always trying to keep as many people alive as possible.

Coming back to Adora. Learning of Adoras new friends and of Brightmoon. Finding ways to keep Adora alive. _I learned how to love again._

A war meeting where Catra leads Brightmoons forces to victory.

…

When Light Hope finished, Catra felt like a skewer was drawn from her skull. All of her energy went with it. A headache erupted from whatever Light Hope had done to her. She clapped a hand to her dome to ease the pain before the strength in her legs gave out and she collapsed to her knees.

Through the pain, Catra remembered Adora was still there. She had seen _everything._ It made her keep her eyes shut knowing that opening them would reveal whatever emotions Adora was showing. It terrified her.

Adora would never want to be anywhere near her again. Catra ought to have been executed for less than half of everything than she’d done in her conquests. She had tried so hard to forget about those awful things and atone, but now the one person in the world she didn’t want to have known of these memories now knew all of them.

Her gun made its presence felt on her hip, her fingers instinctually began caressing the leather of her holster, toying with the flap that kept her gun safe from falling out. She needed to know what Light Hope had found. Hopefully she had found something. Then she could reset the day and Adora would never know.

Catra tried to collect herself and come back to the present. After some breathing, the headache began to subside and she felt like she could open her eyes. What she saw was Adora kneeling right in front of her, a worried look on her face. Her hands playing with the hem of her trademark jacket, not sure what to do. There didn’t seem to be any anger which surprised Catra. She thought this Adora wouldn’t be able to look her in the eye, or worse would draw her sword at Catra for what she had done. Catra didn’t know what to say so she just kept looking at Adora. Finally Adora broke the silence.

“Are you okay? I’ve had my mind scanned before but it’s never hit me as hard as it hit you,” was she worried?

“How can you even look at me? You know everything now. You know what kind of monster I really am. You don’t need to pretend or anything. I’ll get my information and then leave you alone don’t worry,” the words hurt Catra to say, she wanted nothing more than for Adora to stay but she wouldn’t delude herself into thinking that would happen.

“I don’t care about any of that right now. And I’m not angry at you. You’ve lived this hell for years now. I would have done anything to get out of it. Let’s talk about it later. For now I want to make sure you’re okay.”

Catra had nothing to say. Adora wanted to stay and help? Catra looked into Adoras eyes for any hint of…something, that wasn’t the worry she was displaying. Catra knew she could trust Adora but so many of Catras old abandoned defenses told her she must be reading Adora incorrectly. That what she saw wasn’t really what was going on.

If it turned out badly, she could always reset the day.

That gave her comfort.

If Adora turned on Catra she could go back and then none of this would have ever happened and hopefully she wouldn’t have to visit Light Hope again. She brushed her hand again her gun one more time to ground herself.

“I think I’ll be okay. I just need a second. I’m sorry you had to see all of that. Now you know why I don’t like talking about my past. It’s not all flowers and sunshine.”

“I know. That’s okay, we’ll talk about it when you’re ready, here let me help you up,” Adora stood up and offered her hand to Catra. She took it after a moment of hesitation and Adora hoisted her up like she weighed nothing. Adoras grip was firm, yet soft and gentle. There was no malice.

Both women standing, they turned to Light Hope who had been quiet up until now. Perhaps going through the data she had ripped from Catras mind. Catra counted to 47 before Light Hope spoke again.

“Analysis complete. The location of the Heart of Etheria is difficult to trace as its power fluctuates throughout the core of the planet. However I have seen a pattern that can be followed. I will display the most powerful energy signatures now.”

Numbers appeared and floated in front of Light Hope. They were indeed coordinates. They were located all over Etheria, some Catra knew from studying the planet, others more obscure. She quickly memorized them. It was easy with some of the techniques Entrapta had taught her.

She could reset the day right now. Adora would never know, all she had to do was un-holster her gun and…

Adora was still holding Catras hand. It seemed like Adora had forgotten what her hand was doing. Perhaps Catra would wait a while. She always had an out. Wait it out a bit longer and see where the day goes. Maybe they could still find more information together before she reset and made sure Adora wouldn’t have to see Catra for who she really was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always for reading! Any comments you have always bring joy to me so please let me know what you think of everything.
> 
> Also, I decided to open a Ko Fi account because irl friends pushed me to do it. So if you happen to love this story and have a dollar or two laying around, follow the link below! It in no way is necessary and I will upload chapters regardless and finish this story!
> 
> ko-fi.com/plantsrule
> 
> Have a great rest of the week!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up? Hope you're having a good day.
> 
> WARNING 
> 
> Assault described heavily in this chapter!!!!

With their visit with Light Hope done, they left the temple, Adora never letting go of Catras hand and Catra never mentions it. Like Adora was leading her back out into the world and not wanting to lose her.

The hike back to Brightmoon was easy. It took longer than their trek into the forest which worried Catra. But Adora never faltered so she had no choice but to trust her. It wasn’t until the temple had left their sight that Adora finally spoke up.

“I want you to know I’m not mad or disappointed or anything. I meant what I said in the temple. I don’t know what I would have done in your position. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that alone. It makes me feel bad for leaving you all over again.”

“Don’t feel sorry Adora. I left you just as much as you left me. I let my pride and fear of being your shadow get to me. Besides, I wasn’t alone the entire time. I learned how to be friends with Scorpia and Entrapta. Eventually when I somehow convinced the Horde and Alliance to work together to study the world ending, I got to know Bow and Glimmer and all of the other Princesses. I wouldn’t have called us all pals or anything but we were comfortable.

“What I’ve been through, I wouldn’t wish on anyone but I learned a lot. I wish I didn’t have to learn my lessons the way I did, but if I’m being honest, I worry I would have been too stubborn in any other circumstance to learn what I’ve learned. In a way my time loops have been a blessing. You really don’t think less of me now that you know what I’ve done?”

Catra had to ask, even if the answer wasn’t what she wanted to hear, it would show her where the boundaries were between her and Adora.

“No, I don’t. You’ve already proven yourself a changed person to me. You are not the monster you think you are. Anyone would have gone insane eventually. But you brought yourself back. You did it yourself and with the help of your friends. If anything I’m proud of you for wanting to help and get better,” Adora looked back and gave Catra a smile, who returned it with a thank you even if it didn’t feel adequate to say.

More hiking and silence. Adora didn’t say anything, but it looked like she was forming a question.

“How did it happen the first time? When you went back I mean?”

It had been a while since she thought about her first death. Arguably the hardest and the easiest death. At the time it felt like a finality. Release from her torment. Peace. But it was scary too. She was alone. Not knowing where Scorpia and Entrapta had ended up.

“Heh, you’re probably expecting a grand tale of how I was fighting valiantly in battle and through the actions of evil I was cursed to relive this day over and over. As far as I know, nothing happened. It was 15 days after the end of the world and people were dropping like flies. Everyone was coming to terms with the fact that no one was going to survive.

“The alliance huddled together while the Horde tried to use discipline to keep order. It worked for a bit. But once generators began to run out of fuel and people stopped waking up in the morning, it fell apart. By the end I was huddled next to a dying fire, the cold seeping into my bones. I knew falling asleep would be fatal, but eventually I lost hope and let sleep take me. I woke up in my bed. Warm and confused. You know the rest now.”

Catra could feel the sadness coming from Adora now. Of course she was. Catra had just described her own death. Catra tried her best to stay in the present by listening to the birds and feeling the warm breeze against her fur as they walked in silence for the rest of the walk. This had been a rough day.

\---

When they returned from their journey, a meeting with the Princesses was held to inform them of what they’d learned and of the doom that was coming. Thankfully Adora never mentions anything that would cause uncomfortable questions to be asked. Catra couldn’t thank her enough for that.

They deliberate for far too long and it drives Catra mad but there was a lot to go through. They didn’t have much time so searching as many places as possible as quickly as possible would be needed.

Eventually a plan was settled upon and Catra was allowed to leave. She needed to go. Adora was fine with her going for a walk, she needed some time alone as well.

Catra practically sprinted out of the castle and into the town surrounding the castle. Walking through the streets of the civilian side of Brightmoon was nice at this time of night. The moons still shone bright and people were milling about, closing up shop for the day. No one paid attention to Catra which she was grateful for.

Lost in her thoughts for a long time, she wandered the streets. Turning down another street when her legs felt like it. It wasn’t until she realized the lantern light of the larger streets had disappeared that she realized she stumbled upon a darker and seedier looking side of town. Even in Brightmoon bad people existed and sucked life from civilization.

Catras ears picked up footsteps coming from an alleyway next to her. Her pace quickened while trying not to look alarmed. She could defend herself but she wasn’t about to let a couple thugs get the jump on her if she could help it. Then there were more footsteps. Followed by the sound of chains. Then the sound of a sword being drawn. She was walking right into an ambush.

“Well, well, well what do we have here boys?” a gruff and stupid sounding voice came from the edge of one of the alleys Catra had just passed by, “looks like a sad little kitty cat has found her way into our turf unknowingly. Oh and I think I smell the Horde on her too,” some laughs came from all sides.

Catra had let herself be surrounded by a bunch of morons holding weapons. They looked sad compared to what she normally fought but they had numbers and she only had one clip of ammo in her gun. Her first instinct was to just reset the day because she would not come of this unscathed. But there was so much work already in this run. And Adora. She didn’t want to leave Adora again.

So she drew her gun to show she was armed. Ready to fight to her last bullet.

“You really want to mess with little old me? Well come and get it. I have twelve bullets with twelve names on them. Who wants to die tonight? I’m an _excellent _shot,” Catra was hoping intimidation would scare them off. There must have been twenty guys around her maybe more. She hoped they were dumb enough to turn tail and run. But rarely did she get what she wanted.

“Ooh feisty. I like that. I’ll enjoy prying that gun from your cold dead hands when we’re through showing you what I means to come into our turf unannounced and unwelcome. Get her!”

Chaos erupted, Catra leapt and clawed and attacked with abandon. Within seconds she had dropped 10 of the thugs and used 8 of her bullets. She was grateful only the Horde had access to firearms otherwise she would already be dead.

Once she used the next three bullets and dropped three more idiots, she flipped the gun around to use as a club. Once they caught on that her ammo was out they attacked even harder.

Catra could only hold out for a few more long moments before she felt the pressure of that many people attacking her at once. It was a lucky hit and a trip over a body that let her gun fly from her hands and had her fly ass over tea kettle. Once she was on the ground she knew she had lost and began to come to peace that she would be waking up in the Fright Zone soon. Kicks and blades and chains pummeled her for what felt like forever. She stopped trying to shield her head and stomach from the assault. It would just lengthen the pain.

Breath began to leave Catra as flash of light came from somewhere. The kicks stopped and the sounds of battle consumed her mind. It was okay though. She could feel the blood pooling around her and her heart rate slowing. The pain was even beginning to subside. She hoped whoever was fighting didn’t meet the same fate she did.

“Catra! Catra! No, no please don’t leave me! Wake up please,” Catra could hear what sounded like an angel singing to her. The light still shone behind her eyes. She opened them to look for her gun. She needed to get to her gun before she died of blood loss. The gun always reset the day. Maybe blood loss would actually kill her.

Catra tried to move but was firmly held in place. She flailed trying to find where her gun was. She needed to get to it now!

“Catra! Stop it’s me. It’s going to be okay, I’m here now, you’re safe,” the words started to sound familiar. Was that Adoras voice?

That’s where the light was coming from. The shimmering light of She-Ra was cascading upon Catra and she finally looked up to see the ocean blue eyes staring back at her.

Adora had found her? She was here now? How did she get here?

“I’m going to help you. I came as soon as I heard the gunshots. Don’t leave me Catra, I need you.”

Catra could feel the sting of salt in her wounds as Adoras tears fell. She couldn’t bear to watch Adora cry. Using a shaky hand, she grabbed and caressed Adoras cheek, wiping the tears away only to be replaced by more tears.

“Hey Adora,” she wheezed. It was getting harder to breath and her vision was getting blurry, “it’s okay. I’m okay with this. I’m sorry I didn’t t-tell you sooner but this is how I- I reset the day. I have to die. Don’t be sad. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She knew it wouldn’t help but Catra wanted Adora to know she was at peace and not afraid.

“I n-need my g-gun,” more coughing, “I don’t know if blood loss will k-kill me in a way that resets the day. I need t-to use it to go back,” it was really getting hard to think now.

“No, I don’t accept this. I can’t lose you again. I- I think I can help you,” Adora was leaning into Catras hand. Catra could still feel the goddesses’ warmth. It gave her a bit of strength.

“Save your power. It’ll be over s-soon. I-I,” she wanted to say it. Had to say it. Maybe this would be the only time she ever could. To an Adora that truly understood her and still accepted her, “I lo-love you Adora. I always h-have. Always w-will.”

Catras hand slowly fell from Adoras cheek. Unconsciousness began to take her.

How many seconds was it until Hordak would call for her?

She couldn’t remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uhhh... yeah sorry about that.
> 
> Having said that, I'm super proud of this chapter but I'm so sorry to hurt people with this. The next chapter is nothing but fluff and goodness I promise, and I cant wait to share that one too! 
> 
> Don't worry, you'll all get another chapter soon. I wont make everyone wait 5 days for the next chapter. 
> 
> Thanks as always for reading. The support and well wishes for this fic have helped me really dive into writing more and its been such a good thing for my mental health. 
> 
> If you would like to donate to keep me writing more, follow the link below! It in no way is necessary and I will upload chapters regardless and finish this story!
> 
> ko-fi.com/plantsrule
> 
> Have a great rest of the week!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone,
> 
> Sorry again about the last chapter. but here comes the fluff i promised!
> 
> Also! This fic is officially written. Coming in at just under 52k words, that means this is about the halfway point. Like I said before, I will finish uploading this by the end of October. 
> 
> Enjoy and comment to let me know what you think!

Catra must have been really tired after her fight the night before. The awful sheets of her bunk felt like clouds. She let herself feel them for a while.

That’s right. 648 seconds until Hordak would call for her.

She sighed.

Another day. Her last run wasted by a bunch of assholes with nothing better to do. She had left Adora again. Crying over her body in an alleyway.

But she couldn’t think about that now. She needed to wake up and get moving to get back to Brightmoon. She opened her eyes finally only to shut them quickly at the bright light that invaded her corneas. In that brief moment though, she saw that it wasn’t metal lining the ceiling she had been sleeping under. Her hands wandered now too. These weren’t her bunk sheets. No scratchiness, no holes, just smooth, silky, _comfy_ sheets. It was quiet too, no sounds from the machines and robots that keep the Fright Zone active at all times. In fact, the only thing she could hear was the sounds of birds and a slow rhythmic breathing.

Her eyes opened slower this time, she saw the high ceiling of the room she was given in Brightmoon Castle. Once her eyes adjusted to the light, she looked around. Adora was with her. Sleeping hunched in a chair next to Catras bed. Her hand on the bed as if waiting to be held.

How had Catra gotten here? She died and reset.

Right?

Or had she actually died and this was her afterlife. Not bad if she could said so. Her hand wormed its way to Adoras and grabbed it, squeezing it gently. It seemed to be enough to rouse the sleeping beauty. Her eyes flickered open before registering Catras apparent consciousness. Catras hand was suddenly in a vise grip of Adoras hand. It didn’t hurt but it wasn’t letting go any time soon.

“Oh Catra you’re awake. I thought I’d lost you. When you lost consciousness…I- I didn’t know what to do. Somehow I grabbed my sword and it glowed. I knew I could save you. All I had to do was touch you and all of your wounds healed and you started breathing again. Oh Catra,” dammit Adora was crying again but this time Catras hand was busy while in Adoras hand.

“Shh. It’s okay. I guess you saved me. Thank you. I didn’t think I’d get to see you again. You’re here though,” a smile came to her lips. Adora matched it. The tears turning to happy ones. Her eyes twinkling.

“I uhh…I don’t know how much you remember from last night. What do you remember?” Adora questioned.

Catra thought. She remembered a dark street. The sound of chains. Pain. Light. Adora over her crying.

Her last words.

_I love you_.

“I think I remember all of it. Unfortunately. Not the ending though. I fortunately remember that. You. I’m sorry I said what I said. I haven’t ever been able to tell you before and I guess it kind of slipped out. I hope this doesn’t change anything between us.” Catra could feel her heart begin to throb now. She tried to keep cool but this was an intense moment.

The smile on Adoras face only grew. The tears had stopped. She held Catras hand even tighter.

“I love you too Catra, and I always have.”

The words went through Catras ears where they bounced around for a while before they really got processed. _She loves me too? To her we’ve only been back together for a little over a day._ But Catra couldn’t deny she heard what Adora had said. She gladly accepted it. Her smile grew and then turned into soft laughing. Adora looked at her, the exact same thing happening. They laughed and giggled for who knows how long.

Catra remembered she had a spare hand somewhere under the blankets and used it to cup Adoras face. She leaned into it. Catra used the lean to tug on her face ever so gently to bring them closer together. Adora was practically standing over Catra now, noses only a few inches apart.

Catra tried to convey feelings through her eyes, her hand caressing Adoras face. Adora must have gotten it because she closed the distance and their lips connected for the first time.

The kiss was beautiful and perfect and said everything Catra had wanted to tell Adora for so, so long. This was really happening. Catra had won her prize. Claimed her reward for all the years of reliving the same day over and over. It also dawned on her that resetting the day was no longer an option. It was either this run or nothing. Failure wasn’t an option now.

Adora slowly broke the kiss and leaned back into her chair. She sat quietly and stared at Catra and she stared back. Words weren’t needed for the two of them. Their eyes said it all.

_I love you. I missed you. I’m sorry. I forgive you. I’m never leaving you again. I promise._

They stayed like that for a long time. It didn’t matter, they were together again. Here and now.

Eventually Catras mind began to wander and she knew she needed to start getting up or she would fall back asleep.

“How long was I out?”

“Only the evening. I healed you and brought you back to the castle. It’s the next morning. We still have time left,” Adora smiled again, “I didn’t do much but the others were able to power through the evening to finalize our plans for searching the coordinates Light Hope gave us. Some of the other princesses have already left. We have our location too. Once you’re ready, we can leave.”

Catra contemplated what Adora had said. They needed to move fast but cautiously. First Ones technology was almost always booby trapped. Not to mention hard to understand. She knew some basics and obviously Adora had experience too but an expert could do wonders.

“I think we should go to the Horde and find Entrapta. She knows more about the First Ones than anybody, she might be able to piece something together that we didn’t see. The Horde is weak right now, so getting her out wouldn’t be that hard. Plus it’ll be the two of us sneaking in, we know that place better than anyone,” she smiled, thinking about old memories of hide and seek and other shenanigans they used to get into, “who knows? Maybe an opportunity to prank Octavia will come our way. I know you wouldn’t say no to that.”

“Always a glutton for punishment and pranks. But you do make a good point. The look on Octavias face _would_ be priceless. Oh and also getting Entrapta of course,” an evil (if it could be called that) snicker came from Adora. Catra could already tell she was trying to think of ways to bring misery to their old bully, “let’s do it.”

\----

After more or less sneaking out of the castle (partly because they wanted to and partly because they wanted to hold hands and make out occasionally without anyone finding out), Catra showed Adora to the skiff she used to travel to Brightmoon. Catra loved driving her Entrapta touched skiff through the whispering woods, and getting to show Adora what it could do sent a shiver down her spine.

Catra could almost go at top speed because she knew where she was going so well. Adora held a look of terror and joy on her face the whole time. It made Catra want to drive even faster.

In close to record time, only a few seconds short of said record because of a particularly nasty hairpin turn that would have thrown Adora overboard, Catra and Adora had made their way into the Fright Zone. Catra knew the guard patrols so getting passed all of the obstacles between them and Entrapta was easy.

They whispered back and forth trying to figure out what to do to Octavia while trekking through the Fright Zone. They were both rusty and it took some bickering to come to a satisfying conclusion. An oldie but a goodie would be put into play.

Finding an intercom hub, Catra put on her best Hordak impersonation. Adora was practically dying from holding in her laughter and Catra had to fight so hard not to crack herself.

“Attention soldiers. Captain Octavia, make your way to hanger bay four. I repeat, hanger bay 4,” the intercom clicked off and both women burst into laughter at the whole situation. It felt just like when they were kids. Them verses the world and everyone in it and it was their sworn duty to prank every single last one of them.

“Oh god I can’t breathe. Whoo boy okay we have important work to do lieutenant Adora,” Catra wiped tears from her eyes, “your important task will mean the difference between life and death,” Catra was talking very seriously now, still laughing in-between words. “You know your orders. Chop chop.”

Adora put on her best serious face and mock saluted, “Of course Admiral Catra, my task will be done with the utmost care. Your will is mine my lord.”

They burst into laughter again, grabbing onto each other to keep from falling over. God Catra could do this forever. She wanted to do this forever.

Once the laughter died down again, tears in their eyes, Catra stared into the beautiful blue ocean that were Adoras eyes.

Catra pulled Adora in for a kiss. It didn’t have as much feeling as the first one they shared, but it was still amazing. Like they have been doing it all along. It felt right.

“I haven’t had this much fun in forever,” Adora said, after breaking off the kiss, “Bow and Glimmer are great and they’re my best friends, but you’re the only person who’s ever really gotten me. Thank you for being you. You’re amazing.”

A blush crept onto Catras cheeks and she smiled like an idiot. It was the highest compliment anyone had ever given her. Adora loved her for just being who she is. No mask or fake personality. Even her rough edges. It was freeing in a way she didn’t think was possible. It made her fall ever harder for Adora.

“I could say the same for you. But enough of this mushy crap! We have work to do, Octavia isn’t going to prank herself. We have places to be, water hoses to hook up!”

Adora giggled again before giving another solute before running out of the room to complete her tasks. Catra had things to do as well. Besides being insanely hilarious and fun, this whole prank would be a great way to distract a bunch of people while she and Adora sought out Entrapta and Scorpia. Okay so maybe she hadn’t told Adora she wanted Scorpia to come with them, but she didn’t think Adora would mind too much.

\------

From her perch in hanger bay 4, Catra spied Octavia as she sauntered into the open space. It was an unused hanger which she undoubtedly found suspicious but she could never turn down orders from Hordak.

“My lord, you called for me?” Octavia called out to the hanger and saluting at nothing.

Catra cleared her throat and put on her Hordak voice again.

“Ahh there you are captain. I’ve been waiting. What took you so long?

Sweat began to form at Octavia’s brow, “My deepest apologies lord, I came as fast as I could,” she saluted again. Catra hoped Adora wouldn’t die of holding in her laughter before the prank was over.

“Your insolence annoys me. Step forward.”

Octavia obliged, fear in her eyes.

There was a circle of light in the dim hanger that showed Octavia where to step to. She couldn’t possibly see the hoses and buckets of water dangling precariously over her head and hiding amongst the crates near her.

“You have failed me for the last time Captain. Now you must be punished.”

Octavias eyes grew wide at the statement, but she was a good soldier, she would never beg or disobey an order. She stood for a long few seconds waiting for her punishment.

It was Adoras cue to open the waterworks. In half a second Octavia looked like a drowned rat, clothes sopping wet and dripping everywhere. The look of surprise was priceless.

Then the fans turned on, blowing clumps of flour all over her. It came from every direction. Now she looked like a wet ghost.

Laughter filled the bay. Adora had cracked, too much for her apparently. Her break caused Catra to break too, laughing hard enough to cause a side stitch. They were on opposite sides of the hanger, laughing at Octavias expense. Octavia wouldn’t be able to follow both of them. They sprinted through their respective doors, leaving Octavia to fumble on what to do. As the door closed behind Catra, she could begin to hear the string of curses.

Catra ran and ran, never looking back. She knew exactly where to go, laughing and trying not to get caught. She needed to find her friends.

\---

Catra heard Scorpia long before she saw her. Scorpia wasn’t exactly the stealthiest person in the world. No matter how big the room, she always filled it with her infectious happiness. For a long time Catra hated how Scorpia could be so damn happy all the time. But she had learned it was her friends that made her happy and that meant Catra made her happy. Catra spent a very long time learning to let that fact bring happiness to her own heart. It turned into a cycle that Catra had learned to embrace even if she knew she would never be able to top the abundance of personality Scorpia commanded.

Scorpia was in her room, seemingly on the phone with her parents. Catra toyed with a few different ways of making her presence known but decided to play it cool because to Scorpia, Catra had been missing for days now and was surely worried sick over her despite her happy sounding mood.

Catra waited until the phone call ended. Luckily it didn’t take too long. One last look around the corridor to make sure the coast was clear before Catra knocked a secret knock that Scorpia insisted they learn in order to send secret messages. At the time Catra hated it but went along because it helped fill the hole left behind by Adora leaving. A new longing for Scorpia made her put some real feeling into the knocking sequence. After a moment the door opened and Scorpia was there in front of her.

In a flash Catra was scooped into a bone crushing hug that took her breath away, literally.

“Oh my gosh you’re okay! Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick, Wildcat! We thought you were leading the battle but when we heard Octavia was leading instead and the skiff was gone we started to get worried! Oh but you’re back now I missed you so much!”

“I know Scorp, sorry about that. It was a spur of the moment kind of decision. I had some things to take care of but here I am now. I missed you and Entrapta too,” Catra let her arms fold around Scorpia. It was a good hug even though Catra was still being crushed and being held high enough her feet weren’t touching the ground.

“Wow, I guess you really did miss us. I uhh don’t know if you’ve ever reciprocated a hug before. This is nice,” Catra could feel the smile on Scorpias face as she talked.

“I have a lot to tell you and Entrapta. I need your help. Will you come with me? I’m asking you to leave the Horde with me. Both you and Entrapta. I know it’s a big thing to ask and you can say no but it would help so much if you were there with me,” Catra was fairly sure she knew how Scorpia would answer, it was still up to her to make the decision. She tried not to let her voice sound shaky.

“Well yeah, of course. Ill follow you anywhere Wildcat,” there was no hesitation in Scorpias answer. It made Catras heart fill even more.

“Thanks Scorp. First we need to get Entrapta. You’ll need to let go of me first though,” Catra said, even though she still had her arms around Scorpia.

“Oh uhh right of course, sorry!” Catra was dropped back to her feet.

“Don’t feel sorry, you’re a hugger,” Catra said with a smile.

If smiles could generate power, Scorpias would have lit up the entire planet with the smile she had. Catra had been so cold to Scorpia for so long, it all changed now. She had spent the entirety of her friendship (according to Scorpia) sucking Scorpias happiness out and never truly accepting her. Catra had learned to reciprocate those feelings in her adventures with Entrapta and Scorpia and now that she had decided this was her last loop, she let herself be free and open. Telling everyone how she really felt.

This was the best run she had ever had. Catra would fight for this happy ending with everything she had.

\----

Catra and Scorpia stalked through the corridors of the Fright Zone to Entraptas lab. Of course she would be there. There was literally nowhere else she would go except Hordaks own lab but that had diminished since the whole portal incident. Catra hated herself for how close she came to pulling that lever. The look on Adoras face and the words of doom Entrapta had said ringing in her mind, she finally saw the power she had in that moment. Something in her brain told her to stop. It was one of those rare instances she listened to that voice.

Once at the door to Entraptas lab, they pushed through and of course there Entrapta was working some contraption. Welding something at the moment.

“Hi Scorpia! Oh hey Catra you’re back! I wondered where you went. I feel like you’ve been missing for a few days or something. Have you come to check out my latest inventions?” the excitement on Entraptas face mingled well with the glowing light of the welder.

“Yeah, I’ve been working on something secret,” Catra was trying not to outright lie but this wasn’t the time to bring everything up, “I don’t have time to explain right now but I need to ask you and Scorpia to come with me. Outside the Horde. I need your help with some First Ones technology. I have some very promising information on a new First Ones temple in the Crimson Waste,” it was all technically true but boy was Catra leaving out a lot. She figured she could explain everything on the skiff ride back to Brightmoon.

“Ooh fascinating! Of course will come with you! Did you get clearance from Hordak yet to see if I can leave the Fright Zone?”

_Crap I forgot I needed something like that._

“Uhhh… no not yet exactly. Ummm…” Catra looking pleadingly at Scorpia who seemed to understand what she was asking her to do.

“It’s a surprise for Hordak!” Scorpia said excitedly. Catra winced. _Ugh that’s a little too far-fetched. If she goes I want her there because she wants to be._

Catra needed to speak up now and give Entrapta more to work with, “Okay, that’s a little too far out there. I’ll come clean I guess. No, Hordak doesn’t know where we’re going and I don’t intend to tell him. But I need you to trust me. In the past if I ever needed your trust, all I needed to say was the code for your lab in Dryl. If I give it to you will you come with me? I promise I’ll explain everything soon. We’re a little pressed for time now,” in the back of Catras mind a buzzer felt like it was about to go off. She could feel it in her bones that the Horde would soon discover her or Adora sneaking around. Most likely Adora. She wasn’t built for stealth.

“Fascinating. You have me intrigued now, I don’t recall ever giving you access to that code. But if you give it to me correctly I’ll know you got it from me at some point.” Entrapta seemed very interested now, she had put down the torch and welding goggles. Her hair walked her over to Catra, “Well what it is?”

“Three one seven six,” Catra rattled off with ease.

Entraptas eyes went big. It seemed like she didn’t fully expect Catra to know those numbers and in that order. Catra could see the wheels beginning to turn in her head as she pondered how on Etheria Catra got her password.

“Don’t worry you’re secret is safe with me until you’re ready to tell everybody,” Catra said with a knowing smile and a wink, arms crossed in front of her.

“I uhhh…appreciate your discretion. I guess. Let me grab a few things and we can go! Oh! And can Emily come with us?!”

“Duh, of course she can. I know would wouldn’t leave without her.”

A smile erupted on Entraptas face before hair flung her across the lab, gathering things at lightning speed. She called for Emily and deposited her tools and instruments for the trip into a compartment that had opened in the robots exterior. It only took a few minutes until Entrapta was ready and they were off to the skiff.

Sneaking back through the compound, they came up to the skiff Catra had come in with. Adora could easily be seen twiddling her thumbs with her back against the farthest wall, easy to see enemies if they came. As they came up, Adora saw them and smiled and waved. Catra could feel her heart swoon at the real happiness Adora was showing.

“Wait how did Adora get here? And she waiting on our skiff! And she looks happy to see us? Okay my head is starting to hurt. Catra what’s going on?” Scorpia had stopped a dozen paces from the skiff, followed by Entrapta.

Instead of saying anything, Catra jumped onto the skiff before turning around and looking back to her friends.

“Well like I said, I have some things to tell you but we can’t do it here,” Catra backed up and stopped when she was standing next to Adora. She easily took Adoras hand in her and laced their fingers, “but I hope you can trust me enough to come with me. I really do need both of your help. And you’re my friends. I don’t want to leave you behind. I’m sorry I wasn’t fully truthful earlier. Time was short.”

A silence stretched between the groups. Catra could see the myriad of emotions flashing on Scorpia and Entraptas face. Confusion, maybe a tinge of jealousy, sadness. Negative emotions that made Catra worry. She didn’t want to lose her friends. She had hoped she knew them well enough to ease them into this craziness in a way that they would be able to forgive her. She remembered who was standing next to her, hand in hers. She felt a squeeze from Adora that helped set her mind at ease. Finally Scorpia broke the silence.

“Wow, you really were busy these last few days. What I said earlier was true, I’ll follow you anywhere Wildcat. You’re my best friend and I want you to be happy. I always knew Adora made you happy, I’m glad you finally started seeing for yourself,” Scorpia had on her usual ridiculously huge smile plastered on her face as she started walking towards the skiff. Entrapta followed but much slower. She wasn’t convinced yet.

“Thank you Scorpia. I am too, I was too damn stubborn for too long,” she looked over at Adora. They shared a smile, “I can see you’re not fully convinced yet Entrapta. My guess is you’re apprehensive over whether or not you’ll be welcomed in Brightmoon. They let me in after some convincing and having Adora by my side. I know for a fact you’ll have someone from Brightmoon by your side if you come. Scorpia and I will be there too. It’ll be okay, the three of us are the Super Pal Trio! Together we can surmount any obstacle,” as Catra talked, she could see the lightbulb begin to light up above Entraptas head. She knew who Catra was talking about.

“Really? You think so? After everything I’ve done. How long I’ve been gone? I didn’t know if she’d ever want to see me again,” sadness took over Entraptas face. She stopped her approach of the skiff. Catra took that as a sign to let go of Adoras hand with a squeeze and jumped off the skiff and came up to Entrapta. She leaned in so that only the two of them could hear each other talking.

“I know Perfuma misses you. She literally would not stop staring at me when I arrived in Brightmoon until I told her you were okay. She misses you, I think it’s time to go back to her. Dryl may not have the technology and resources of the Fright Zone, but I think you’ll be happier in a place Perfuma can be with you.”

Entrapta looked up, bewilderment at what Catra was saying. Slowly a smile came to her face.

“Okay, yes, I’ll come with you. I’m ready to go home.”

Catra smiled and gave Entrapta a quick pat on the shoulder. It was enough for the two of them, they never needed much contact to be happy in their friendship. Theirs was one of the mind, two people seeking answers to different questions but they found solace in their mutual quest for knowledge. Together they walked to the skiff, Catra jumping up before helping Entrapta up.

The alarm began to sound. Looks like their secret party was over. The skiff roared to life and they sped off, Catra loving the speed and the cannon fire trying to hit them. Adora having as much fun because she was with Catra but still had fear on her face. Scorpia was happy to have finally had her friendship with Catra be reciprocated. Entrapta thinking of flowing dresses and flowers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought! My favorite line in the entire fic is in this chapter. I hope I made it easy to know which one it was lol 
> 
> If you really liked this chapter, consider sending me a Ko-fi so i can do more writing  
ko-fo.com/plantsrule


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

The ride back to Brightmoon was easy. The only danger being turret fire from the Fright Zone that never had a chance of hitting the skiff anyway. Everyone conversed easily, like there wasn’t a war separating them. It had been a while since Adora had seen Scorpia and Entrapta. Even though they had spent a long time being ‘enemies’ she found it was easy to talk with them and get to know them again.

During the ride, Adora stole glances at Catra often. She could see the happiness on Catras face plain as day. Whenever Catra would catch Adora looking, she would give a slanted grin that made Adoras heart melt. They were real smiles, ones that reached her eyes. She must have been happy to have her family with her. A ragtag team of the rebellion and the Horde in one vehicle speeding through the Whispering Woods. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

Adora was glad Catra had been able to find friendship in the Horde after she left. Especially in her time loops. She deserved friends. Good friends that loved her for who she was and didn’t shy away when Catra wasn’t at her finest. Adora could tell she had learned to see when people wanted to be with her and reciprocate in kind. Gone mostly was the cold hard exterior that Shadow Weaver tried so hard to build onto Catra. It arose sometimes, but Catra would quickly catch herself before she said anything she would truly regret.

Her time living this day had changed her so much. Adora now knew what had happened to Catra. Had only seen what she could glimpse as Light Hope scanned Catras memories but they were numerous and overwhelmingly sad. The only beacons of light being Scorpia and Entrapta with Adora herself sprinkled in there occasionally.

Some of the memories were of Catra losing her sanity and letting her inner demons take hold. Adora couldn’t have been mad at Catra for what she’d tried to do. In her memories, she had been hurting so much. Desperate for anything resembling release. She had atoned for everything in Adoras mind. Those events never came to pass anyway, that gave her heart as well. When the usual anger and coldness ceased to give Catra what she wanted, despair took their place. Eventually leading her to try varying methods of suicide. It horrified Adora how low Catra had gotten. The mental strain of her situation was immense, it was unsurprising she eventually crumbled from it.

Yet somehow, she managed to claw and climb her way out of that hell to get better. She came out the other side a completely different person but still Catra. Scarred and damaged still, yet understanding and kind now. Her anger was almost gone. The self-loathing and tendency towards letting jealousy take over seemed to be locked away. Pride swelled in Adoras chest at how much Catra had done to get better.

Adora no longer felt like she needed to babysit Catra like she had growing up. Catra was always reckless and could be hard to be around and Adora had unconsciously taken to be a mother figure in a way to Catra. It didn’t work of course because she herself was a child and they both grew up with an abusive mentor who took pleasure in tormenting Catra and pushing Adora until she collapsed. Who knows what kind of weird, toxic relationship would have developed over the years as they got older if nothing changed. It probably would have turned into a sick and twisted version of what they shared now. Adora shuttered at the thought.

Adora still hated herself for leaving Catra, but it seemed now like a blessing in disguise. They both learned so much about themselves and even each other. Catra gained new friends. She grew so much, learned so much. She was a leader now, a really good one who knew her subordinates strengths and weaknesses and never belittled them for those weaknesses. During the recent battle Catra was undoubtedly the general that lead the alliance to victory. She led Adora too and Adora followed with no hesitation or question. So did the other princesses.

Laughter roused Adora from her thoughts. Catra was driving the skiff and having some kind of conversation with Entrapta and Scorpia. She easily danced between the love and aloofness of Scorpia and the ecstatic and genius mind of Entrapta.

After Catra told them her story, they quickly fell into what seemed like old habits, accepting Catra as if nothing had changed. They even seemed to relax when they saw how stable Catra was. They didn’t have to fear saying the wrong thing that led to Catra saying mean things. Adora could relate to that.

They reminded Adora of herself and Bow and Glimmer and the crazy times they had had together. They completed Adora ways that Catra never could as much as Scorpia and Entrapta completed Catra in ways she could never hope to fill. That was all okay though because just as their friends completed them in certain ways, Catra and Adora completed each other in ways that no one else could. They could be total free and open with each other and had a deeper bond that was borne from growing up together in the Horde.

It wasn’t until after Catra had decided to help the alliance that the embers of their old friendship and love roared back to life. All that was needed was understanding and openness. Something they both struggled with for different reasons but stemming from Shadow Weaver and her treatment of them as they grew up.

If Shadow Weaver could see them now, she would have a heart attack. Good.

She deserved nothing less after her abuse of them and of Glimmer when she tried to siphon her magic away to fuel her own hunger for power. Adora and Queen Angela had put a quick end to that nonsense once it became apparent Shadow Weaver was just using Glimmer and her old abusive tendencies came out. Adora was scared to think about how things would have gone down if Queen Angela hadn’t been there.

Shadow Weaver had escaped because of course she had, but had never made a scene since. Completely falling off the face of Etheria it seemed. Catra hadn’t mentioned Shadow Weaver either which meant she hadn’t gone back to the horde either.

That unsettled Adora even more. Not knowing where Shadow Weaver was.

Doing whatever she did. Nothing good, Adora presumed.

But she couldn’t turn Catra and Adora on each other anymore. They had were unstoppable together now. They would rule the world just like they planned as kids. Adora smiled. She wanted Catra to be with her forever.

She had almost forgotten she loved Catra while they were apart and fighting each other. But everyone who interacted with the two of them always commented on the bond they shared even when on opposite sides of the war. All it took was one conversation under the moonlight in Adoras room to remind her she needed Catra in her life.

“Hey, you alright over there Adora? You’ve been quiet for a while now,” Catra looked down to where Adora was sitting. Her mane was blowing in the wind, ears picking up every sound and twitching from it.

“Oh yeah, sorry, I zoned out there. What’s up?”

“We were just talking about how the Whispering Woods always seems to get you to your destination at exactly the right time. Entrapta has some fascinating ideas on why that is. Scorpia thinks it’s the power of nature and love. What do you think?”

“Hmm…now that you mention it you’re right. I’ve been horribly lost before but once I regain my resolve and remember my purpose for being in the woods, my destination seems to appear out of nowhere.”

“That’s interesting because I’ve never had that happen since I began my time loops. I noted it when you took me to Light Hopes temple. Like you realized you needed a moment to remember where you were going. After our break though we arrived in a few minutes.

“I always arrive in Brightmoon at almost the same time and travel the same path. Even on days when I’m only half paying attention to where I’m going. Over time, I memorized the trees I pass by to make sure I don’t take a wrong turn somewhere. But I’ve been lost before in the whispering woods. Before my time looping,” Catra continued to quietly ponder and her eyes left Adora to follow the path through the woods. Entrapta waited for Catra to finish, seemingly making sure her observations and calculations were correct before speaking.

“My hypothesis is that it is the traveler inside the forest that determines how big the forest is. Those who don’t know where they’re going never find a destination. Those who do, can move rapidly through the forest.

“However, that doesn’t explain Catras ease of travel. It must have something to do with her time traveling. I’ll need more data before I can create any testable hypotheses on the matter. Catras predicament is fascinating! Uhh… sorry Catra,” Entrapta looked up at Catra with sad puppy eyes.

“It’s fine, I’d like to know the answer myself. It could prove useful in the future if we knew the cause,” Catra said, not taking her eyes off the path they were on.

Adora was interested now too. She would love to know how to move around the woods without fear of getting lost. Bow and glimmer had complained about getting lost themselves sometimes. Everyone did. Only the most resolute who knew their purpose for venturing into the woods would find their destination in a timely manner. Madam Razz always seemed to know where she was going and had led Adora many times through the forest with no trouble.

Adora had gotten them lost the day before trying to find Light Hopes temple. She had gone too deep into her own mind thinking about Catra and the situation and before she knew it they had walked by the same rock a few times.

  
Perhaps Catra was just that resolute in her life. She was certainly stubborn enough.

The trip was fast and easy just like Catra said. They never passed the same rock or tree twice.

After arriving, Adora broke off from her group, telling them to find her in her room or the mess hall. She wanted to give Catra some time to her friends and to find her own. She was curious how Bow and Glimmers trip went. It didn’t take long to spot Glimmers bright pink hair in the castle.

“Oh yeah it was actually really easy,” Glimmer said lounging in a pile of pillows in Adoras room.

“It looked different from other first ones places we’ve been to. It looked a lot less polished like Light Hopes temple,” Bow followed with when Glimmer didn’t say anything else, “when we made it to the entrance, I gave it your usual ‘Eternia’ password then it asked for identification. When we couldn’t figure out what kind of identification we needed, Glimmer decided the best way to tell the door who it was talking to was by punching it with magic,” Bow dropped his voice and mock whispered to Adora, “Glimmer was already grumpy from the ride on Swift Wind,” Bow put on a funny grin.

“NO I wasn’t! I felt like it was the best way to show the door who it should be opening for. It worked didn’t it?” Glimmer was thoroughly puffed up now. Adora was loving this exchange.

“Sure thing, Glimmer” Adora added in, sarcasm laid on thickly.

“Yes it did Glim, we all believe you” Bow put a reassuring hand on Glimmers shoulder, patting solemnly. Adora could see the playfulness in his eyes though. He enjoyed messing with his friends in much more subtle ways, than say, Catra would. Adora enjoyed the more subtle jabs herself. Unless she was messing with Catra, then she let loose like there was no tomorrow.

“ANYWAY,” Glimmer said trying to sound big and in charge, it only kind of barely worked, “then the door opened and let us inside.”

“Yeah!” Bow exclaimed, getting back on the conversation at hand, “all things considered, it was pretty easy. It even knew Glimmers name or at least her title. Oh! Here I recorded the whole thing! I’ve been trying a few of Entraptas note taking techniques, I’m really enjoying it!”

Bow whipped out a tape recorder very similar to Entraptas, clicking a button on the side, bringing it to life. An emotionless voice of First Ones technology echoed out.

“Welcome, Princess of the Brightmoon Runestone, to the Facility 3 of the High Energy And Radiation Transference network of Etheria. This facility is currently offline. Next active cycle will occur in approximately, thirty seven pulses.” When the voice chimed out, Bow clicked the recorder off.

“I recorded a lot of things I think Entrapta would love to hear! She might be able to help us figure out what some of the stuff we found meant,” Bow exclaimed, very excited by his findings.

Glimmer cut in, “The temple was dark once we got inside, it seemed like nothing was…on? I guess? We wandered around for a while and poked a few consoles but nothing happened so we left once we were sure we wouldn’t find anything.”

“Well at least the temple didn’t try to attack you guys or anything. And it eliminates one of the places Light Hope gave us. I wonder what the others will find.” Adora questioned.

Adora was very curious to know how the other princesses fared on their journeys. She hoped they were all mundane like Bow and Glimmers. With the information they’d all gathered, she wanted to know if Entrapta would be able to piece together some kind of pattern like Catra had said like Bow had said. Catra seemed to think Entrapta would.

Adoras mind began to wander at the thought of Catra. She was so happy she and Catra had finally made up and come together. Adora had often wondered while she still lived with the Horde if Catra would ever reciprocate her feelings. It didn’t seem likely at the time. Catra was quickly slipping farther and farther into her anger in the months leading up the Adora leaving.

She hadn’t been much help either, Shadow Weaver pushed her so hard to be the best. Silly things like friendship were all but tossed to the side. To be forgotten all in an attempt to become force captain and lead the Horde forces to victory against the evil Princess Alliance. Oh, how times had changed. It felt like lifetimes ago. It was for Catra.

“How is Catra doing, by the way?” Bow said with a questioning but friendly look.

“She’s good, I was able to heal her. She’s been walking and talking like nothing happened. I was so worried. I still can’t believe a bunch of thugs would attack her like that. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost her again,” Do I mention what came of those events? A smile came to Adoras lips and she thought she felt a blush come on, “when she woke up we talked for a bit, and well I guess we kind of admitted to each other we have feelings for each other. I guess we’re…together now?”

Bow and Glimmer wore faces of shock for a moment before Bow began to smile.

“I knew it! You two do love each other! No one except you two could fight the way you did and still act like you wouldn’t die for each other! I’m so glad you two were able to talk. Catra really seems to have changed.”

“Yeah, a week ago I would have throttled you for saying something like that, but Catra really seems different, even if she still doesn’t call me the right name,” Glimmer said sharply but there was a hint of warmth there Adora noticed.

“She has changed. She’s been through a lot. I saw some things in Light Hopes temple that I didn’t mention in the meeting yesterday. None of it mattered to the task at hand and I won’t go into detail, but they were deeply personal things for Catra. I saw bits and pieces of some of the loops she has been through.

“I would ask that you two be gentle with her. She’s changed but that doesn’t mean old habits are completely dead. But she’s really trying to be good now. She’s older than all of us now in a way, living as many days as she has.”

Glimmer puffed up again, “really? Like how much older than us?” of course Glimmer needed to make it a contest. The three of them would have been the best of enemies if Glimmer had grown up in the horde. The thought made Adora smile.

“She doesn’t know for sure, but she estimated herself to be around 25 years old now. She would have turned 19 just a few months ago. I believe it after what I saw in the temple,” Adora tried not to think too hard about what she saw. She knew they were dark things in Catras past, things Catra never would have willingly spoken about. They were awful, dark things. But she knew Catra tried every day now to try to right those wrongs. Adora chose to focus on that.

“Whoa,” was all Glimmer had to say, the puzzle pieces clicking into place from what Adora had said.

“I hope you two are happy together,” Bow put on an award winning smile.

“Yeah, we are. I certainly am,” Adora felt a blush come on, “I think Catra is too.”

“That’s just so amazing! It’s also great to have Scorpia and Entrapta here too! I’m super excited to get to know Scorpia more and learn about what Entrapta learned during her time in the Horde.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought! I'm excited to be able to upload this fast! 
> 
> If you really enjoyed reading, please consider sending me a Ko-fi, it would help me do more writing!  
Ko-fi.com/plantsrule


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I missed a few days uploading.
> 
> Here's another heavy chapter. We're getting into the knitty gritty here near the end of the story so expect a couple bittersweet chapters before we get back to the happy stuff. Worry not, the next set of chapters will come in like 3 or 4 days followed by the last two chapters on, say the 29th or 30th. 
> 
> WARNING
> 
> MAJOR FLASHBACK DESCRIBED IN THIS CHAPTER.   
VERY CLOSE SERIOUS ATTEMPT OF SUICIDE.

Chapter 11

Catra was thankful Adora gave her and her friends some time to talk, they had more catching up to do.

“So Catra, tell us everything! You go missing for two days and when you come back, you’re holding Adoras hand! And smiling! And not fighting her! Give us the deets!” Scorpia exclaimed, raising her claws above her head and waving them around.

Scorpia, Entrapta and Catra wandered through the castle until they found themselves in an empty courtyard where they lounged. Catra got busy sunbathing while Entrapta and Scorpia sat in the shade of a tree nearby.

Catra tried not to immediately laugh at Scorpias outburst, she was sure Scorpia had been trying her hardest to keep it in until they were out of earshot. She wasn’t one hundred percent sure she was ready to divulge everything between her and Adora, but these were her friends. They wouldn’t judge her or anything. They hadn’t judged her when she told them of her time looping. They were happy Catra had opened up. Even Entrapta seemed happier with her interactions with Catra, enjoying the scientific banter they could throw at each other now.

“It wasn’t intentional if that’s what you’re asking. Something happened to me yesterday and I thought I would be forced to reset the day,” Catra wasn’t ready to say everything that happened to her, it wasn’t really all that important anyway, “I said some things in the moment that I probably shouldn’t have said. In the morning though, I woke up in Brightmoon with Adora watching over me. We talked and it turns out she reciprocated my feelings. We ended up kissing,” Catra smiled to herself now trying to not let a blush completely take over her face. The awful night before had blossomed into something amazing for Catra.

She wasn’t used to things going well for her. Most of her life the worst possible thing that could happen, would happen. She was glad for the change in destinies heart and would do her best not to squander it.

Scorpia and Entrapta were watching Catra with big eyes, waiting to hear every word. Scorpia had a big dumb smile on her face, basking in the beauty and poetic nature of the story. Entrapta taking in information, cataloguing so she could analyze it later. When neither of them said anything to interrupt her she continued.

“I don’t want to reset anymore, I can’t imagine going back and having to regain Adoras trust again, and having to run away from you guys again,” a shiver went down Catra back. It would be awful. She would do everything the same again of course, but all of the authenticity would be gone, just acting the role to get to her end game. What Adora and Catra had now was natural. The first go. All the good and the bad. It was perfect in its own way. Catra never thought her first run through the last two days would be perfect _because _it wasn’t perfect. This is what real life felt like. It had been a long time since she felt like she was living life and not just acting her way through it.

Then there was everything between Catra and her two friends. She had been so cold to them for so long that their friendship had almost crumbled away. Catra could remember them not inviting her to outings or including her in things anymore. It hurt but she had done it to herself by isolating and falling back on cruel lessons Shadow Weaver had bored into her skull. _You will never amount to anything you insolent brat. Nobody wants you, and anybody who claims they do is only using you until they find what their looking for then they will throw you away like the piece of trash you are._

Without her time loops, Catra couldn’t be sure she would have ever learned how to have an actual healthy friendship. She was lucky Scorpia was so hard headed in the friendship department and Entrapta always accepted Catra because they were both outliers in society.

“You guys kept me alive many times in the past. I wish you could remember the good times we had, but here we are now and I’m ready to make new ones.” Catra put on a big genuine smile, looking both Scorpia and Entrapta in the eyes. They followed returned her grin.

The trio was quiet for a while, enjoying the sun (or shade) and just being together. It was interrupted when shouting came from a nearby hallway.

“Where are they? I know I saw Catras skiff come back! Someone has to know where they are?” a high-pitched and worried sounding voice echoed through the halls. Catra knew that voice easily.

“‘Trapta, you ready to see Perfuma again? I think it’s time,” looking back to her friends who were also listening in on the commotion.

“I uhh…I don’t know,” Entrapta said, beginning to curl in on herself, “I think I might have more data to analyze before I’m ready for that interaction. Oh wow what’s that over there?” Entrapta scurried off… to a bush?

In the farthest corner of the courtyard.

And behind a bunch of other plants. _Guess it’ll have to be the hard way._

“Well, while you take ‘data’ on that bush over there, I think I’ll go say some words to Perfuma,” Catra said with a smirk, she knew what game she was playing.

“No! I’m not ready yet!” Entrapta bounded back across the grass at Catra as she picked herself up off the ground where she’d been laying.

Catra didn’t need to know how long it took Entrapta to cross the room, she knew Entrapta well enough to know when to dodge the flimsy attempt to grapple her in sentient hair. She summersaulted away with ease.

“Aww c’mon ‘Trapta! You know you want to see her!” if she wouldn’t let Catra get to the hallway, Catra would have to try other means of alerting the castle (Perfuma) to Entraptas whereabouts.

Entrapta dove at Catra, tangling Catra in her hair. Catra fake wrestled with Entrapta making as much noise as possible. They rolled and shouted and ran into things until Scorpia spoke up.

“Uhh… you guys?” the two stopped fighting long enough to look at Scorpia who was pointing to one of the doorways into the courtyard.

“Entrapta, what are you doing to poor Catra? Get off her right now!” Perfumas voiced echoed off the stone walls around them. Entrapta quickly dislodged herself from Catra and slinked away from Perfuma, using her hair to make a shield between the two.

“Oh geez. Uhh…hey there, Perfuma. Long time no see I guess?” Entrapta winced as she realized that was absolutely the worst thing to say.

Perfumas didn’t say anything, just staring daggers at Entrapta, arms folded in front of her.

“Finally, there you are Perfuma,” Catra spoke up, “You came to my rescue! I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about so I think Scorpia and I are gonna go!” Catra began nudging Scorpia in the direction of the door.

“But I wanted introduce myself!” fighting Catras hands, “I’ve heard so much about her from Entrapta, I’ve always wanted to meet her properly!” Scorpias aloofness was going to get her in trouble someday. Catra face palmed. Her friends were idiots, but they were her idiots she supposed.

At Scorpias words, Perfuma seemed to relax a little bit. Her shoulders dropped and she released a sigh.

“Welcome back, everyone,” Perfuma hadn’t taken her eyes off of Entrapta, “I didn’t know if you wanted to see me, but I at least wanted to see that you were okay. I’m glad you’re okay. Let me know if you want to talk,” Perfuma gave Entrapta a small shy smile, preparing to leave.

“Please don’t go. I’m sorry. I wanted to see you but I was scared. I didn’t know if you would be mad at me. It took a lot of convincing to get me to come because of it,” Entrapta was still hiding behind her hair, playing with it nervously.

“I’m not mad at you, I just missed you. You’ve been gone for a long time,” Perfuma stepped forward towards Entrapta.

“Really? You’re not mad? I know I’ve been gone a long time. There was just so much research to be done and I guess I lost sight of things outside of that,” Entrapta was beginning to come out from behind her hair.

“I know, and I understand. Just hearing you were taken care of and seeing you now, means so much. I’m glad you’re here now though, I missed you so much,” Perfuma said, a blush beginning to form. She tucked some hair behind her ear. 

Entrapta was moving closer to Perfuma now, slowly but steadily.

“I missed you too. Would it be too forward to ask if you would want to ‘hang out’ as Catra would say,” Entrapta said with a blush of her own forming. Catra smiled at her friend opening up to someone that wasn’t herself or Scorpia.

Perfuma put on her own smile and put out a hand for Entrapta to take, “not at all, and I know the perfect place.”

Entrapta looked back at Scorpia and Catra, looking for guidance and permission.

“Go on you love birds!” Scorpia practically squealed. Catra simply flicked her wrist up at Entrapta showing her to go.

Entrapta took Perfumas hand gently and Perfuma led her away to where ever she wanted to show Entrapta.

In the silence that followed Perfuma and Entraptas departure, Catra looked back at Scorpia to see her putting on only a half genuine smile. _That’s never a good sign_.

“What’s up? I can see you thinking Scorpia.”

“What? Oh, yeah sorry I’m okay, let’s go find some food I’m hungry after all of that uhh… action?” Scorpia was deflecting.

“I know you better than that just so you know. What’s on your mind, you can talk to me,” Catra put a hand on Scorpias arm. At the contact, Scorpia seemed to deflate.

“I guess I’m just a little sad. I’m so happy for you and Entrapta, but I can’t help wanting that for myself,” Scorpia looked at the ground.

“Hey, we’ll find someone for you, I’ll help you, and so will Entrapta. You know what a romantic she is,” that got a small smile out of Scorpia, “I know Adora and her friends would love to help you too. You’re so likable, anybody would be lucky to have you,” Catra punched Scorpias arm playfully.

“You really think so? Thanks wildcat, I needed to hear that.”

Catra didn’t know the right words so she hugged Scorpia instead, she quickly reciprocated.

“That’s one problem solved, let’s go solve another and find some lunch, I’m hungry too,” Catra said once they broke their hug off.

\---

Making their way to the food court, Catra and Scorpia spotted the best friend squad chowing down on food and talking. Catra went over to sit next to Adora.

“Oh hey there you are,” Adora said after she finished a bite of food, “we’ve been planning our next move. I think we should leave soon so we have as much time as possible to make our way to the temple.”

Glimmer was fiddling with a stack of papers and letters she had missed out on while she was traveling while simultaneously trying to eat a sandwich. It was only working marginally well. There was a surprising amount of them but she was technically the head of the alliance.

CRASH

“OW”

Someone took a nasty spill somewhere in the mess hall, the sound causing Glimmer (and everyone for that matter) to jump and cut herself on a letter she was reading. It was a nasty paper cut that bled more than it probably should of.

It reminded Catra of another run. Back nearly at the beginning of her loops. When she had let the darkness take hold and did the things it told her to do.

Catra looked around to see the rusting metal and green force fields of the Fright Zones prison. The putrid stink of the prison filled her nose.

She noticed her gun was raised, the smell of gunpowder wafted around. Glimmer slumped at the back of the cell she was in, blood pooling around her.

The smell.

Bow was speechless. Glimmer staring blankly into the distance, no light in her eyes. Hands tied behind his back Bow tried to crawl over to Glimmers body to rouse her.

“No. Glimmer hey, talk to me. Please!” Bow looked up to Catra, tears flowing down his face, “what have you done? You shot her for no reason! You monster!” he shouted at Catra.

_I’m not a monster, I’m doing what I have to in order to end my curse_.

_I thought I was better than this. I haven’t hurt either of these two in so long. Right? Whats going on?_

_You’re surviving. _A dark voice in Catras mind told her. It was her own, but twisted. Angry. _Doing what needs to be done. Kill him next, it couldn’t hurt to have them all dead, who knows which one will actually break the curse._

Catra could see the fear and hatred in Bows eyes. Those eyes had looked at her fondly one or two times during her loops. The gun was getting heavy in Catra hand, stretched out the way it was. It itched for more blood.

_NO! I can’t go through this again!_

The sound of metal on metal rang through Catras ears as her gun hit the floor. She needed to get out of there. She ran like her life depended on it. Maybe it did. 

The guards she ran by looked confused and shouted questions at her, trying to figure out the source of the gunshot, she wasn’t sure. She paid no mind to them. She ran and ran.

_The plan was to help them, not hurt them! I decided I wouldn’t do this anymore!_

_But if you don’t, you’ll never be free! You’ll live this day and die of the cold for the rest of eternity. This is the only way. _Catras inner demons slithered through her brain, echoing every word it spoke.

_Get out of my head! I’m better than this!_

_No you’re not. Look at your hands._

Catra could feel the slickness between her fingers now, she didn’t need to look down to know what coated her hands, she’d felt it too many times.

Catra ran through a set of double doors into a courtyard. Thousands of Horde soldiers cheered as she entered. The dim light of the Fright Zone invaded her eyes making her squint after being in the dark prison.

When her eyes finished adjusting, she saw the center of a town square, and on a raised platform for all to see, lay Adora, shackled and beaten. Hordak not far behind lording over her.

Catra knew to walk up the steps to meet Hordak. He was holding the Sword of Protection.

“The hero of the Horde comes to complete our glorious victory!” Hordak shouted to the crowd, raising his arms up like the dictator her was to rouse even more emotion from the crowd, “come champion! End this pitiful resistance so that the glory of the Horde may spread again! Prove to me you’re unyielding devotion!”

Hordak held the sword out to Catra who took it without thought. She looked down to Adora. Bruised, black eyed, dried blood all over her. She hadn’t gone down without a fight. It took everything Catra had to bring down She-Ra, but with her time loops no matter what Adora did, Catra countered it expertly.

Adora looked up to Catra one eye swollen shut, sensing the end.

“You don’t have to do this Catra,” it was Adoras voice but it seemed to echo. Adoras lips moved but the sound came from all around Catra .Like they were somewhere other than this disgusting town square.

“You don’t know what I have to do! This is the only way! Finally I will have peace with you dead!” Catra exclaimed, pointing Adoras sword inches from her face. Adora didn’t flinch, she just stared at Catra.

_Catra! _ A voice whispered in the back of Catras head. Barely a whisper, easily shaken off.

“I’m sorry for leaving you Catra, I’m sorry for everything. If this is what you need then, then get it over with.” Adora put her head down, neck wide open for the blade to fall. She was trying and failing to not cry.

_Catra!_ There it was again, voices besides her own would sometimes creep into Catras thoughts, past runs she figured, failed and left behind to rot. The voices always sounded like Shadow Weaver. This one didn’t. It was softer.

It didn’t matter.

Steeling her resolve, Catra lifted the blade above her head. Ready to finally be done with her curse. With Adora dead, Catra could finally rest. That evening the bullet would stick in her brain and she could finally sleep.

Catra could see Adoras tears hitting the wood planks.

Would Adoras death really make anything better?

Would Catra be able to rest?

She was finally defeating her ‘foe’ so she could rest.

The sword was getting heavy being raised above her head.

_I’m better than this. I know I am. What am I doing? This is Adora. I know killing her won’t solve my problems._

Hesitation took over. The cheers and shouts of the Horde soldiers had left. Silence stretched into eternity. It was just her, Adora and Hordak in the courtyard now.

“Do it! End the war! Be the hero I always knew you could be! Don’t be a coward!” Hordak spat pointing at Adoras neck.

_CATRA!!_

Damn that voice was getting loud. It was almost jarring, like it was trying to remind Catra of something.

The sword wouldn’t fall. Catras arms were locked. Before it would have been one fluid motion, then the smell of blood. She knew she could do it, she’d done it before. Why not this time?

_Because this isn’t the solution. I love her, how could I hurt her? This can’t be the right way to do things._

_I need to start over._

_I need to reset._

The weight of the sword shifted. It was lighter now. Smaller. Colder.

Catra looked up to see her gun raised in her hands. Of course. Her gun would always be there for her when she needed it most. She lowered it, cradled it. She could feel the weight of the loaded magazine, twelve rounds used for whatever she needed them for.

She only needed one bullet.

_Remember where you are! _The voice was a shout now. It almost sounded familiar. Scorpia? No, quieter than that. Entrapta? No, she wouldn’t yell like that.

_It’s okay, I can reset the day and everything will begin again. I’ll find another solution._

It was just Catra now, she wasn’t sure where Adora and Hordak went. She was all alone on the edge of the platform she was standing on.

She could feel the wind blowing in her mane.

Taking a deep breath, Catra readied herself for the reset. It didn’t smell like the Horde to her surprise. No smog or oil. It was clean, peaceful almost.

_Please don’t! Remember how far you’ve come! _The voice was desperate now. Pleading.

“It’s okay, I’ll reset and everything will be okay,” Catra spoke out loud to the voice in her head, trying to appease it. She looked up, it looked like one of the moons was peeking out of the smog to show itself before Catras reset.

_I need you! I love you! Please come back!_

Wait, now she remembered the voice. Was that… Adora?

Adora was all the way in Brightmoon though.

Catra was alone on this platform.

The moon shone brighter. Brighter than Catra had ever seen it in the Fright Zone. The wind picked up and she still couldn’t smell the oil and smog.

Her brain must be playing tricks. What was going on?

It didn’t matter, she needed to reset.

Catra lifted the gun to her head and cocked it, safety off in one motion.

_Look where you are! You’re here in Brightmoon! Catra, don’t!_

What an odd thing to say in the middle of the Fright Zone.

But Catra indulged the voice in her head. She looked down again to see white marble. Then she noticed the railing built into the marble in front of her.

No wood. Not the platform she was standing on a moment ago.

A noise entered her ears. She turned around to see what had made it. Shapes were in front of her. It wasn’t the shapes that made Catras eyed widen. Behind them was the white walls of Brightmoon castle.

Then Catra heard the birds chirping.

The shapes began to form. It was Adora. And Scorpia. And Entrapta. And Bow and Glimmer. They were all staring at her.

_Wait, where am I?_

The darkness had faded as Catra felt her tunnel vision leave. All Catra could feel was the warmth of the afternoon air, the smell of Brightmoon castle, the sound of birds in the trees.

The gun in her temple.

Then she saw the looks of everyone in front of her. They were all absolutely worried and scared.

Adora and Bow had their arms out as if to reach out for Catra. Glimmer had wide eyes, in a wide stance, as if she was ready to leap into action. Entrapta was half hiding behind Scorpia who had her claws in from of her mouth, tears rolling down her face. They all stood a good ten feet from Catra. Waiting.

Catra began to feel the tears on her own face. The tremble in her hand, how it transferred through the cold metal digging into her head.

She was in Brightmoon. Around her friends. The Fright Zone was 3,692 seconds from here on the fastest skiff in the world.

She was where Adora loved her.

The gun became impossibly heavy. She was struggling to keep it to her head. She wasn’t in the Fright Zone. Adora wasn’t chained and beaten. Catra hadn’t just shot Glimmer again. Running through the halls to avoid the looks on Scorpia and Entraptas faces once they found out what she’d done.

The pressure on her temple lessened.

She slowly looked at the gun, finger still wrapper around the trigger. It was completely scratch free, flawless. Just like she always knew it was. But she could see the power it contained. What it had given her. What it had taken away. The ability to kill in in instant. How it thirsted to be used. It frightened Catra.

The safety switched on without her thinking about it. Tears still rolling down her face, she disarmed the gun. Releasing the magazine and un-chambering the round loaded in the barrel. She took her gun apart. Slowly at first but by the end she was ripping away at it. Furiously trying to make it as harmless as she possibly could.

She had come so close just then.

Her gun had almost stolen everything from her. It wasn’t her friend. This was just an ordinary pistol that she had put on a pedestal.

_The_ gun that almost cost her everything._ The_ gun had almost won the battle. Her demons had almost won the battle. She had already decided she wouldn’t reset. She would go as far as she could.

Even if that meant saving the world, growing old and dying only to wake up in her bunk again. At least she would have her friends, and Adora.

_I promise._

As the levers and springs fell around her feet, she could sense the tension in her friends leave. No one dared say anything. When the last part fell off the gun, all Catra had in her hand was a dismembered grip. A bastardized version of her anxiety and addiction to control everything. She could see how much she was shaking by how violently the grip moved.

Staring until she couldn’t bear it any longer, she tossed it aside, away from her. Finally the weight left her hand. The cramps began to relax. She watched it slide on the polished marble, coming to a halt when it hit the wall on the opposite side of the balcony.

Strong, loving, protective arms folded around her, Adora was there. And so was Scorpia. They hugged her harder than she had ever felt. The tears fell harder, now accompanied by sobs and hiccups. Catra wrapped her arms around her lover, her friend. Shed almost lost them, but they had brought her back.

She would never be able to give them enough thanks.

\---

They spent the evening in Brightmoon so everyone could recover from the day. At some point Catra asked Adora to help her put her… no, _the_ gun back together. It wasn’t her gun, not anymore. She wouldn’t let it control her anymore.

As much as she didn’t want to, she needed it to defend herself for whatever they may find at the First Ones temple the next day. _And in case a reset is necessary,_ but she didn’t say that out loud.

Adora spoke of happy things and sweet nothings as they worked. It didn’t take long but Catra felt like she’d fought against the Horde a dozen times before the end.

With the gun safely put away, magazines and bullets on the other side of the room, Catra climbed into bed and without a word Adora snuggled up next to her, stroking her hair and scratching in the spots she knew would make Catra purr. It worked.

Catra found peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the ending makes up for the rest of the chapter. 
> 
> please let me know if anything is offensive or rude in anything in this chapter. i have never experienced a flashback nor a brush with suicide. i am absolutely happy to change something if it is derogatory in anyway. 
> 
> Im always happy to read comments. its been humbling to have a bit of a following for this story so thank you so much!
> 
> Ko-fi.com/plantsrule


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Another sad one sorry :(
> 
> WARNING  
SUICIDE

The first ones facility was easy enough to find. Once they got close enough, a tower rose from the sand. With the skiff parked, the trio walked up to the main door. A large ten foot tall metal door. It was purple and pinkish like most other First Ones technology. Catra, Adora and Entrapta walked up to the gate.

“Eternia!” Adora shouted at the door.

Nothing happened and after a few seconds, Catra let out a huff towards the unmoving door.

“Of course it wouldn’t be that easy, it never is with First Ones stuff.”

A static sounding voice, not unlike Light Hope, came from nowhere, “welcome Catra, your arrival has been greatly anticipated. Please follow the lit halls toward your destination.”

The door slowly opened, dust falling everywhere from the outside environment. Inside though, it was spotless, even the dust from outside seemed to billow away as the doors opened.

“How did it know who you are Catra? Have you ever been here before?” Adora asked, still watching the door open.

“No, I’ve never been to this part of the Crimson Waste,” Catra said trying to process what this meant.

How could it know her name? It didn’t even respond to Adora, who was arguably the most potent link to the First Ones on Etheria. Not to mention there was no password she had uttered to her knowledge.

Following the right path was easy, it was well lit. The temple was huge. Halls and rooms filled every inch like a maze. It made the Fright Zone’s notoriously difficult hallways seem easy by comparison. Whatever was here was _very _important.

Reaching a large chamber, the trio found themselves faced with two gates in front of them. One was brightly lit, open, like it was expecting them. The other was dark yet even more imposing than the front entrance they’d come in through. Adora, Entrapta and Catra all tried every way they could think of to open the big door, no one was getting through. Entrapta couldn’t even get into the system for this part of the temple, it was on another level of complexity.

“Security level 4 is instated. No entry to Gia is permitted at this time,” the voice said every time they tried something to open the door.

Resigning themselves to the defeat of a door, the three women let themselves into the lit door.

Inside looked to be a huge control room. Monitors lined the walls and interior of every space. Entrapta immediately went over to a monitor and began typing.

“Everything in the system is locked out except for one program, it looks like teleportation equations. I ran into some of these when Hordak and I attempted to build the portal to outside the Despondos dimension. These ones seem to be used for something much smaller and less distance traveled,” Entrapta looked around for a second before pointing to the room they were previously in, “the platform in that room must be the jump point. I think it’s telling us to go wherever this portal will take us.”

Loud noises pierced through the temple. It sounded like an alarm going off.

“Security breach. Please follow protocol 17-38. Follow you’re consoles to their appointed destinations,” a flat voice echoed, loud and with intense purpose.

“You two should go, I’ll control the portal from this side. Teleport to wherever it wants you to go. It seems urgent. I’ll stay behind and look after everything,” Entrapta said to Adora and Catra, not looking away from the monitor, her hair reaching to other monitor stations to turn them on.

Catra and Adora stared at each other. Catra knew Entrapta was right. She took Adoras hand, leading her to the teleportation platform.

“Let’s go. Entrapta can handle herself. You and I can take whatever’s on the other side of this.”

Adora nodded and didn’t say anything. Her eyes were intense, gearing up for a fight. Catra took it as a sign to urge Adora faster.

Standing on the center platform, Entrapta started up whatever she needed to, to get the teleportation to begin.

Adora drew the Sword of protection, muttering the spell that would transform her into She-Ra. This was the first time Catra had seen the transformation up close, it was amazing to see Adora grow over two feet and gain _a lot_ of muscle. Her hair shone and eyes an even brighter, more electric blue if that was even possible. She looked back to Catra and smiled. Catra smiled back, entwining her hand with Adoras, the fit was different in her She-Ra form, but still comfortable and so, so Adora.

A moment later, power unlike anything Catra had ever felt before surged through her. It wasn’t painful, but she could feel energy in every cell of her body. In less than a second, the feeling vanished and with it a new room they were standing in.

It was less polished than the last one, more utilitarian. It reminded Catra of the Fright Zone. All use and no frills. A bright light emanated from the center of the room.

It was tiny. Maybe the size of a jewel set in a ring. White light, but also other colors, very faint pastels would drift through occasionally. Catra found herself staring. Could stare at it for hours. It seemed so peaceful. Looking at Adora, she seemed in much the same trance.

Then Catra noticed She-Ra’s body. It was glowing even brighter than usual. The sword pulsated and the gem in its hilt shone much brighter. Catra could see the runestone was supercharged, Adora would have even more power than normal here.

“You’re glowing. More than you were before, I mean,” Catra had a hard time speaking at the radiance and beauty before her.

“I can feel it. My runestone is going crazy with power. It’s incredible.”

Together they slowly moved towards the glowing orb in the center of the room. It was quiet, but not uncomfortable so, the smallest hum came from the gem. Angelic, like She-Ra.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it? Oh Adora it’s so good to see you again,” the voice echoed from a dark corner of the room. Two glowing magenta eyes stared at Catra and Adora.

Catra didn’t hesitate to get into a fighting stance, ready to draw her gun. Adora raised her sword in front of her.

The figure came forward. Or rather tendrils came forward, black and evil looking, slithering from the darkness. The eyes grew brighter, the cracked mask of Shadow Weaver came into view.

“Shadow Weaver? What are you doing here?” Adora said incredulously. Conflicted? Yes, Catra could hazard a guess Adora would have a difficult fighting Shadow Weaver. Catra had no such limitations. Whatever it was she was doing here, it wasn’t good.

“I thought after all this time with the power of She-Ra, you would have learned more about your runestone and its connection to the Heart of Etheria,” Shadow Weaver turned her head to the pulsating gem. The implications of the head turn were not lost on Catra or Adora, “please, come with me Adora, I can teach you how to truly harness the power of your sword, and how to use the Heart of Etheria itself,” Shadow Weavers arms stretched out in Adoras direction, hand turned up, waiting to be filled. Her eyes were glowing in time with the Heart of Etheria. Catras head filled with hate.

“Are you kidding me? Of course she won’t go with you!” Catra spat, “we’re here to stop you from doing whatever you’re trying to pull!” Catra raised an accusing finger to Shadow Weaver.

“Be quiet you brat! Adora and I are talking, do not interrupt our conversation,” Shadow Weaver spat in turn, not even looking at Catra.

The comment went in one ear and out another, Catra had long ago learned to not let anything Shadow Weaver said stick, no matter how true her words may sound, they were always a lie. Her claws extended, ready for the fight to come. She’d beaten Shadow Weaver once before, she could do it again.

“I’ll never come with you, and you can’t treat Catra like that anymore,” Adora raised her sword up to her side, wielded by both hands. How long had Catra waited to hear Adora say that? Ever since they were kids, “I won’t listen to anything you have to say.”

“So be it, I can see now Catra has completely poisoned your mind. Don’t worry, I’ll heal you Adora,” the glowing eyes closed to slits, both arms raised and purple lightning began charging around her arms.

Catra and Adora dodged the bolt of lightning by jumping away from each other. The lightning was so powerful. More powerful than Catra had ever seen, even in Shadow Weavers most angry and charged outbursts. _She’s a bastardized princess of the Black Garnet. The heart is giving her power just like Adora. _The realization put fear into Catras head.

The bolts didn’t stop, they came from all directions, and Shadow Weaver was making easy work of Catra and Adora in her power. Even with She-Ras power being charged up as well, Shadow Weavers years of experience was proving to be hard to beat.

The battle turned quickly, Catra and Adora gasped for air, sweating, and bruised, Shadow Weaver had barely taken a hit.

A ball of lightning hurtled towards Catra. She had slipped and wouldn’t be able to move in time. She braced for the reset.

It never came.

Before it hit her, Adora was there. She took the full force of the bolt, right to the sternum.

She dropped like a sack of potatoes. Sword falling from her hand, the power of she-ra leaving her. Catras eyes went wide.

“NO!” Catra tried to reach out to Adoras smoking body.

Another bolt grazed past Catra, flinging her away like a ragdoll and singing much of her left half.

Dazed and out of breath, Catra could only watch as Shadow Weaver approached Adoras form on the ground. Adora sputtered up blood.

“I wish it didn’t have to be this way poor child. Don’t worry, I’ll look after you now. As soon as I’m finished with this wretch,” The eyes burned towards Catra. The gun was still somehow in her hand, burned as it was. Years of practice were paying off right now. too bad she had no hope of being able to raise the gun to actually shoot Shadow Weaver. She was too dazed and in too much pain from the lightning that had hit her. Even if she could, Weaver would aparate away with ease.

“Wait. Please come back,” Adoras weak voice rose over the quiet of the room, “don’t go, I want you here Shadow Weaver.”

A pang of hurt coursed through Catra. She hoped it was a ruse, she was too weak to really think about it right now.

Shadow Weaver was at Adora side in a heartbeat. Cooing and brushing her hair.

She never noticed the sword glide straight through her ribcage and out the back.

Sputtering and clutching hopelessly at the sword, incoherent speech came from her. She collapsed against the ground, a pool of blood forming and the glow of the eyes faded to nothingness.

Catra had to get to Adora.

She needed to collect herself and move.

She needed to save Adora now.

Getting her breath under control put everything back into focus. The pain subsided a little and she felt the energy to make it to Adora.

The best she could do was crawl.

At Adoras side, Catra could see the blood soaking through her jacket. Adora was staring at Catra. A small smile on her lips.

“I’m so glad we found each other again Catra. I love you. Etheria is safe now.”

“No, don’t talk like that. I’m going to find a way to save you Adora. Just hang on. None of this is worth it if you die here.”

“But you can move on, be free of your curse. Go back and love everyone who opens up to you. Live Catra, please for me,” Adoras eyes were half shut, having a hard time focusing on Catras face.

“How can I love anyone if you’re not there?” tears fell down Catras face.

She couldn’t save Adora, she didn’t have the power of She-Ra.

“It’s easy, just live, and let people into your heart. I love you so much. You can do this.”

The glow faded from Adora. A body left behind.

Vaguely somewhere in the background, Catra could hear something about a security threat being eliminated. It didn’t matter.

None of it mattered. She had won and yet still lost.

Anger welled at the rotten luck.

Catra knew Adora wanted her to move on, but there wasn’t anything to move on to if Adora wasn’t there. Not if she could still change the course of history.

_The mission still isn’t complete._

Catras gun made its presence known in her hand. The weight was comforting in her hand. This run was ruined. She had hoped against hope this would be her last one. This Adora was dead though, not even Catras power could bring her back.

The thought that now that Shadow Weaver was dead, Catra wouldn’t loop anymore if she died occurred to her.

She decided she didn’t care.

The gun rose to her temple in one well practiced motion.

Easy as cracking a knuckle.

Catra knew she was back in her bunk when she felt the gun leave her hand and the weight of the blanket she slept under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought! Like i said before, the next two chapters will come over in three or four days. 
> 
> Check out my Ko-fi page!
> 
> Ko-fi-.com/plantsrule


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, just a few more chapters until the end!

Her eyes opened.

648 seconds until Hordak would call for her.

There was nothing she could have done.

Adora had died.

Another loop was necessary.

Catra had to breathe for a long time, for many seconds, minutes. She didn’t bother counting. It was all she could do to try to keep her emotions in check.

It was just another loop. She could do this. Had to do this.

Adoras life could still be saved. _But it won’t be that Adora. _

Tears came. Catra wept as silently as she could, she needed to mourn the loss of that Adora. That perfect, wonderful Adora, who could never be brought back. She would save Adora, but not the Adora she fell in love with and finally told for the first time.

Her bunk sheets were rough. Worn ragged from too many nights use. The smell of oil assaulted her nose next. This wasn’t Brightmoon. The machines hummed in the background. No birds.

Too dark too. No moonlit balconies.

Catra almost let herself stay in her bunk. But she couldn’t. She had been _so_ close. It had been Shadow Weaver. It was always going to be her. The hate that Catra had, for so long, kept at bay flared and roared to life. Catra would kill Shadow Weaver if it was the last thing she ever did. And if it wasn’t, she would take pleasure in killing her every loop for the rest of eternity.

The paltry blanket flew off of Catra. She would _kill _Shadow Weaver for taking Adora away from her.

It took Catra 1272 seconds to get the gun… _her_ gun, plant explosives on tanks, and leave for Brightmoon on the skiff.

3,692 seconds later the skiff came to a stop in its hiding place outside of Brightmoon palace.

Catra checked her gun and looked into the entrance she would take to get to Adoras room. It was an easy trek through the castle now that she had done it so many times. _Efficiency. The faster you go, the faster you get to Shadow Weaver. _

The next two days flew by. Catra counted every step, every second that she hadn’t counted last time.

She needed to learn these days so she could get to Shadow Weaver.

Adora was easy to convince again, the alliance and Queen Angela posed no threats.

Catra learned that during the battle, Alex dies a quick death if she doesn’t change the crew layouts before leaving the Fright Zone. Catra decides to not feel for Alex’s death. At least now Catra doesn’t personally kill the soldier.

She tells herself she doesn’t feel grief.

Catra sleeps in her own room. Staying at arm’s length from Adora. Only engaging when necessary to prove her loyalty or trust. She won’t let herself fall for Adora again. The feelings never leave but she doesn’t dwell on them. Or let them blossom. She wanted to kiss Adora again. To hold hands. But she couldn’t really fall for Adora. Not until Catra knew she had won. _The mission. Shadow Weaver._

Light Hope doesn’t have to scan Catras memories again. There’s no need to see Light Hope at all. Not necessary. Catra had all the coordinates she needed. The only ones necessary.

Scorpia and Entrapta never leave the Horde. Catra already knows where to go and she doesn’t need friends slowing her down. Her only friend was her gun. The thing that could change destiny at the flick of a finger.

It never leaves her side.

She resets quickly every time something goes wrong. No point in continuing if something went wrong.

Catra needed perfection.

No thugs attack Catra because she never leaves the castle. Only walking the halls and her bedroom keep her company as she counts and waits for the right time to set another snowball into motion.

She makes painfully slow progress fighting Shadow Weaver. She tries many different methods. It only takes a few tries to realize she has to have some kind of ally with her. She can’t hope to win against Shadow Weaver alone so she begrudgingly tries different people to go with her.

Going along with Adora seems to work the best. They know each other’s abilities so well they can easily fight in sync with one another. It’s difficult when Catra doesn’t make any effort to get close to Adora. They’re on talking terms but they never _really _talk. Catra finds it impossible to open up to Adora again.

\---

One run, in another attempt to learn about the castle, Catra took a corridor she hadn’t explored much. It wouldn’t matter if she was seen, she was already trusted. Besides, the after-battle party downstairs would have called most of the guards away.

Catra didn’t feel it was necessary to go to the party. It wouldn’t win her more trust, it only encouraged her to interact with people who would forget about her. She hadn’t gone to the party since the run where she told some embarrassing story about Bow that had never happened. Adora coming to find her on the balcony after Catra had run. It was lifetimes ago now.

“You look lost sweetie,” a voice eerily similar to Glimmers pierced Catras thought bubble. She spun around to follow where it came from.

At the end of the hallway Catra had recently turned down, Queen Angela herself stood before her, wings folded to her side, hands together in front of her in a regal manner.

“I’m not, I know every hallway and room in this castle,” Catra rattled off. No emotion. _Just go away._

“Oh I know dear, that’s not what I meant though,” Angela tapped the side of her head with a slender finger to indicate the metaphor.

“Well I’m not,” Catra spat, “everything’s fine. I know what I’m doing,” letting the vitriol flow, she really couldn’t care less what Angela thought.

She was alone in this, no one could help her even if she wanted to admit she _needed_ help. Catra was tired of making friends that would disappear every time she reset.

“One doesn’t stay queen long if they don’t know how to read people,” Angela put on an innocent smile, “and one isn’t a good mother if they can’t tell when a young adult is lying to them,”

“Then as a mom, you should also know when a _young adult_,” Catra marked air quotations with her fingers, “doesn’t want to talk to anyone.”

Catra was getting tired of this pointless conversation. She considered resetting to be done with it. But she had already done the hard work in this run. Only one more day until she fought Shadow Weaver again.

“I suppose you’re right. But I’m old and stubborn so I’m going to keep asking you until you talk. I can tell something is bothering you, your actions towards others only feign interest and intent. I’m sure Adora has seen it but hasn’t said anything. I haven’t thrown you in a cell yet because of how loud your actions spoke during the battle today.”

Catra raised her voice, “you don’t know anything about me! I’m here for a purpose and nothing else matters until I get there,” Catra paused to catch some air, her voiced dropped, “I don’t even know how long I’ve lived this day anymore,” the thought of resetting the day was sounding better and better. This conversation was pointless and would never matter.

“It’s been many years since I lost my husband, Micah, you probably don’t know who he is. Myself and the history books are the only ones that talk about him anymore,” Angela spoke with an airiness that showed affection and longing, “Glimmer loved him so much, they were inseparable until he left. I could never get anywhere close to that with Glimmer.

“She was 8 when he died. What she does remember, is this amazing person, her best friend. Even though he isn’t around now, his memory and those wonderful times still exist. They aren’t nullified by the sadness of him leaving and not coming back.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re not the one who died. You’re not the one who had to keep going while those memories cease to exist. You don’t know what I’ve left behind,” _but I still keep those memories, bad and good. _

“You’re right. I’m not, and it’s not my life either,” Angela continued, “it’s yours. And you get to do with it whatever you want, but happiness and friendship can help make life _and_ death bearable.”

The words danced in Catras head and aroused old thoughts that she believed to be true. Adora would trust whatever Catra said, especially if she knew what Catra had done and seen. Maybe then they could make new memories once that understanding came back. It wouldn’t have to be exactly the same very time. Catra knew how to get back to the temple that knew her name. Easy steps and counts were needed. It was mostly a waiting game once the fight with the Horde was over.

The anger inside Catra dipped a little. The beginnings of positively creeping in underneath. Why not try to be a little happy if it doesn’t change anything anyway? She can make it to the temple at the right time whether she’s close with Adora or not.

So why not be with Adora when they’re at their best?

Catra had been happy before. The loop where she kissed Adora had been so happy, and felt so good.

The one where she met her friends again, and got to introduce them to Adora properly.

Where she got to pull an amazing prank on Octavia and hearing the sounds of Adoras laughter echo through the halls of the Fright Zone. She craved more of it, but she herself had forbidden happiness, deeming it a hindrance on the mission.

But happiness in this part of the run was an option.

She decided to give it a try.

\---

It took less than a minute for Catra to explain herself to Adora before she envelopes Catra in a big hug, letting all of the tension Catra had created disappear. Catra couldn’t stop saying sorry and couldn’t believe how wonderful the hug felt.

They don’t kiss, it never came up. No proclamations of love. Catra decides that’s still too much for her. They held hands though and that was enough for Catra.

Catra made it to the temple. Fought, and lost to Shadow Weaver again.

Catra remembered the good times when she woke up.

It was another day, she had to go to work and then got free time after. It reminded her of the endless drills she and Adora endured during their upbringing. She had to work hard but was allowed free time afterwards to spend however she wanted.

The after-battle party is fantastic, Catra and Adora dance a lot.

Catra only had to hint at a prank against Octavia to get Adora to come to the Fright Zone to kidnap Scorpia and Entrapta. The pranks change as Catra thinks of new and more hilarious ways to torment Octavia. Laughter of their shenanigans fills the halls of the Fright Zone just like when they were kids.

Catra tentatively allows herself to be scanned by Light Hope sometimes. It was difficult but she liked being able to talk with Adora about some of her demons.

Catra enjoys herself. She always has to fight Shadow Weaver but she did it happily and with the help of Adora. Scorpia and Entrapta help occasionally when Catra has a new strategy she wants to try against Shadow Weaver.

Time makes her better. She learns about Shadow Weaver and how she fights. Creates solutions to the many problems she’s faced with. Shadow Weaver begins to get sluggish when they fight.

Adora doesn’t have to sacrifice herself.

Catra was getting closer to beating Shadow Weaver now. During one run, Catra notices what she thinks can end the fight. She works towards it.

Maybe a few more runs now, but Catra would be happy doing it. Every. Single. Time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Gordon Ramsey voice* Finally, some good fucking fluff.

Adora had had a blast the last two days. Ever since she woke up to Catra in her room, everything had been different. From learning Catra had been stuck in a time loop to seeing how fluidly she moved around the battlefield. This Catra was a new person, someone who didn’t hide behind anger. This Catra had learned the ability to let people in to help heal her.

She was still Catra though. The woman Adora grew up with, played with. Left behind. Had fought and been hurt by too many times to count.

Adora had tried to hate Catra for so long. To put an end to the friendship created from surviving together in the Horde growing up. In only minutes, Catra apologizes for everything and more. She shows she’s willing to keep doing better. To be there for Adora and Etheria. Adora finds it impossible to stay mad at her.

After the battle against the Horde, Catra told her and the alliance they had two days of free time before she would need Adora for a mission that she wouldn’t divulge. It’s not important, she said. Just that she was working towards something and had no guarantee it would work. Catra had been honest and forth coming in everything except this last mission. Any other questions asked were answered fully even if there would be a bit of Catras old flare and banter sprinkled in.

So Adora and Catra spent two lazy days together. Hanging out, talking, and getting to know each other again. Catra also talked about past loops she had been in. Told funny stories and before long decided she wanted to bring Scorpia and Entrapta back from the horde, pranking Octavia in some new fashion she hadn’t thought of before. Adora happily obliges, looking forward to getting into trouble with Catra again.

On the way, Catra reminisced over the best pranks she and Adora had pulled. Leaving no detail spared so Adora knew everything. They were pretty good. A few had been Adoras ideas.

But it wasn’t really Adora, was it? It was a different Adora from a timeline that didn’t exist. Someone who shared the same body but whose mind led different paths than Adoras’ own. Catra was genuinely happy to speak of these stories but Adora couldn’t help but feel slightly isolated. Like it was someone else Catra was talking about. Was it possible to be jealous of yourself?

“Catra, can you maybe not talk about stories that involve me?” Adora said during a lull in conversation on the way to the Horde. Catra looked at Adora, trying to figure out what she meant. She raised a brow and Adora took it for confusion, “it’s kind of weird to be hearing stories that I’m involved in that I don’t remember.”

Now Catra understood. Her ears drooped and the skiff slowed slightly. She was quiet, contemplating. Like she was trying to put herself in Adoras shoes.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Let’s make new memories together here and now. Sometimes, I get stuck in the past,” Catra said with a hint of shyness. Adoras heart grew at Catra actually owning up to a mistake and really apologizing. She’d expected some cutting remark or dodge so she wouldn’t have to talk about her problems.

Adora smiled, “yeah, that sounds fantastic. Thank you. Tell me more about this new prank you wanted to get Octavia with.”

The prank went off without a hitch. With nothing but Kyle, a glitchy keyboard and Octavia’s own stupidity and stubbornness, Catra and Adoras laughter soared to heights neither of them thought possible. It was so simple yet so beautiful in its execution. Adora would treasure the look on Octavia’s face for the rest of her life.

After thoroughly rustling the feathers of the entire Fright Zone, Catra and Adora split up. Catra left to find Entrapta and Scorpia while Adora found the skiff and kept it safe from prying hands.

It took long enough for Adora to get thoroughly bored and more than a little anxious before Catra entered the hanger with a proud grin and a smiling Scorpia and bouncy Entrapta in tow. They were having fun. Adora realized how excited she to get to know Entrapta and Scorpia. They’d always fought against each other so she’d never gotten to know much more than a name from the two women but she acknowledged how close Catra was to the both of them.

The last three days had been so crazy.

The drive back to Brightmoon is easy. Adora got to hear some stories of Scorpia and Entrapta. Learned a bit of who they were (relearning who Entrapta was since it had been so long since she’d left the alliance).

They arrived in Brightmoon with no issue.

The meeting between Entrapta and Perfuma was adorable. The cryptic statements Catra had given to Perfuma all made sense now. They scurried off, hand in hand, talking about the growth rates of plants inside and outside the Whispering Woods. Catra wore a dopy grin, her hands on her hips, like she was looking back on a hard day’s work. Adora stared, enjoying the beauty that was happy Catra. No worry, no angst, no anger. The Catra that Adora knew growing up. She’d missed Catra so much.

Catra caught Adora staring and her grin widened to show a few white teeth. Geez, Adora wanted to see more of that smile.

Hours before they were meant to leave for the Crimson waste, Catra led Adora to a hidden spot in the Whispering woods that she’d discovered. She moved with confidence and purpose. Adora was surprised when they made it through their hike in just a few minutes of walking, they hadn’t gotten lost at all. The Whispering Woods could be difficult to travel, Adora had learned that many times getting lost on her way to visit Light Hope.

She decided she loved this new confidence.

In the clearing, a blanket and basket could be seen.

“So uhh- I might have left a few bits of information out,” Catra cleared her throat, the confidence had subsided greatly, “I asked Bow and Glimmer to set this up for us. I wanted to have a picnic with you,” was that a blush coming to Catras cheeks? “I heard about the activity recently and wanted to try it with you. But only if you want to, I understand if you want to do something else,” Catra was looking everywhere but at Adora, her ears were down a bit.

Adora decided she loved shy Catra as well.

Her hands found Catras and squeezed them gently.

“I’d love to,” Adora let a dopy grin out. The worried look melted on Catras face, she returned the grin. Adora hoped Bow and Glimmer were back at the castle so no one would see the stupid faces they were making at each other.

A delicious assortment of meats, berries, fruits, breads and juices filled the basket to the brim. It was all food Catra and Adora had missed out on growing up in the Fright Zone. Adora noted there was an over-abundance of her own personal favorites but didn’t mention it. She enjoyed the bounty. Catra knew her favorite foods. Adoras heart skipped a few beats at the gesture wondering what it meant.

The conversation flowed easy but Adora found it difficult at first to really open up so quickly to Catra. They’d spent so long fighting and hurting each other. Adora couldn’t just open herself completely after such a short time. After having tried so long to bring Catra back with her. Catra seemed to sense the unease but didn’t push it. Catra was letting her own openness gently give Adora the confidence to talk deeper and deeper.

At one point Catra began talking about Alex, the horde soldier Catra had saved after the battle a few days prior. Adora felt a slight twinge in her heart at the mention of this Alex.

“I’ve had a complicated mindset toward her. I wouldn’t even call her a friend. But I still know some things about her. She’s someone I’ve had to… hurt in the past. In other loops I’ve lived. Eventually I got to know her a little bit outside of the fighting if only to calm my own mind. She’s a good person. It reminded me of how pointless the war between the Horde and the rest of Etheria is. Keeping her life in my head has helped keep a lot of my humanity in place,” Catra seemed to catch onto the face Adora was making and quickly added, “sorry, that was too much. Let’s talk about something else. The clouds look really nice right now don’t they?” Catra awkwardly looked up to the sky, ears back. Trying to look nonchalant but failing epically.

Adora decided to follow along until she came up with the right response, if one ever came, “yeah, I’ve learned to enjoy cloud watching. It’s so peaceful watching them float by, unaffected by all the turmoil down here.”

Catra didn’t respond. They spent several minutes looking up as the clouds lazed through the sky. Adora spent the time trying to figure out what to say to Catra. She wasn’t mad about Catra knowing Alex. But it didn’t feel good either. Was this jealousy? Adora had felt it many times towards Scorpia and Entrapta when she thought about how they got to stay close to Catra while she stayed mad at Adora for leaving her. This was deeper than that. Adora pondered on the jealousy she felt towards Alex until a question popped into her head.

Oh. That’s why she was jealous.

She had to ask now in order to not let it fester, she couldn’t let something like this come between their newly formed relationship that Adora had wanted for so long but been denied and told was impossible many times.

“Do you love her?” the question felt like gravel rolling off Adoras tongue.

Catras head spun down and looked Adora right in the eye, mouth slightly open, Adora could see Catras brain short circuit. It definitely wasn’t the question she thought Adora would ask apparently. It was somehow calming to learn that Catra didn’t, in fact, know everything from her time loops.

“No, absolutely not. Aside from basic conversations, I never really got to know her. We didn’t hang out or anything. I just needed to know a little bit about this person whose life I had control of. Learning she has a younger brother in the Horde, for instance, helped me remember how precious life is, to someone like myself. Someone who can’t die.”

“Oh,” Adoras mind reeled trying to figure out what to say. More confusion, more questions. She didn’t realize she hadn’t taken her eyes off Catra until she said something about it.

“Are you okay? I’m sorry this got so deep all of the sudden. We can pack up and head back if you’re not comfortable,” Catra looked away, but Adora could see how she was feeling from the low position of her ears.

Now Adora needed to think up an answer to that question. This was getting complicated. She stopped herself from spiraling by focusing on her breathing for a moment. Listening to the birds in the trees. Even down, Catras ears twitched at the sounds. More feelings exploded from Adoras heart.

She didn’t want to leave. She wanted to spend the rest of the day with Catra and be close to her and learn more about this amazing person next to her. The fighter who could dance around enemies. The friend she had become, and how much she’d grown. Adora could spend the rest of her life listening to what Catra had to say.

The feeling coalesced in her chest. The words forming in her brain but not in a way that was easy to say. Adora remembered the openness Catra had given her. She decided she owed it to Catra now to be open with her and trust her as much as she did fighting side by side on the battle field.

“No. I don’t want to go yet. I’m sorry, I just have a lot on my mind. I guess I realized I was kind of jealous. Of Alex. Or I thought I needed to be. I guess what I’m saying is…” the words stalled in her mouth. Catra turned her head back to face Adora, eyes staring into her own.

Adora trusted Catra, but didn’t want to damage their new friendship. She wasn’t sure how close Catra would want to get. But here she was right now, Adora had the opportunity to take a leap of faith and the words wouldn’t come out. She thought of another way to speak to Catra. Her mind landed on something.

Adora closed her mouth that was still hanging open since her tongue seemed to be revolting and slid her hand tentatively towards Catras. When her fingers touched Catras, she took a moment before slowly spider crawling over Catras hand and closing her fingers to hold onto Catras hand. She hoped her eyes were communicating what she wanted to say as well.

Stillness came to the clearing, everything drowned out except Catra in front of her. After what felt like an eternity, Adora felt Catras hand flip around and laced her fingers into Adoras. A smile came to Catras face as she looked at their linked hands.

“I never knew if you truly felt the same way. This is the first time you’ve taken the first step,” Catras smile widened, “I want this. I want you,” the smile stayed for a few seconds before slowly melting away, “but I can’t,” Catras hand disappeared from Adoras grasp. She hated the loss of contact. She slowly, sadly, retracted her hand, curling into a lose fist as it moved.

“What do you mean? Why not?” trying not the let the hurt steal her voice.

“I know it’s not fair to you to not tell you how I really feel. But I’ve had to leave you behind before. Having to reset means I lose everything I ever had with anybody I interact with. A blank slate. No trust. Everyone goes back to either barely tolerating me or openly hating me. Including you. I hope you can understand. Once I know Etheria is safe, once I know you’re safe, then I can really start to live again,” the sadness on Adora must have been apparent because Catra looked away closing her eyes for a second before opening them again, “but, I feel the same way. I just can’t say it until I know you’re safe.”

Adora could see where Catra was coming from even if it wasn’t what she wanted. She would probably be the same if she were in Catras shoes. She decided she would take what Catra had said and hold on to it. Letting it fuel her desire to keep Catra and herself safe, to fight whatever they needed to fight so Catra would be free.

Adora placed a hand on Catras shoulder, enticing Catra to look back at Adora.

“That’s good enough for me. Let’s finish this fight so you can tell me how you feel,” Adora knew the unspoken words were loud and clear to Catra. The look of understanding came to Catras face. She simply smiled and nodded.

\----

Once Catra and Adora boarded the skiff, Catras face became much more serious and alert. Every move seemed preprogrammed into her subconscious. The sudden change made Adora sad that the person she loved had to force down her emotions in order to do what she needed to.

During the trip, Catra revealed they were going to fight Shadow Weaver. She was the one who kills the planet by trying to harness the power of the Heart of Etheria.

She had many things Adora needed to remember. How the Heart powered up her She-Ra capabilities. How Shadow Weaver fought. The best thing to do in certain situations. How among all else if something went wrong, Adora had to promise she would kill Catra if it she couldn’t reset the time loop herself.

What could Adora say to that? She couldn’t bear the thought of having to do something like that. She let out a dumb nod to show the barest amount of acknowledgement. The nod was a complete lie and she was pretty sure Catra knew it.

Adora tried to remember all of it but eventually had to begin to tune some of it out, her brain was just too full of thoughts having still not had the time to fully process their conversation during the picnic. _Or was it a date?_

The trek through the First Ones ‘facility’, not temple, according to Catra, was easy. Everything went exactly the way Catra said it would. It wasn’t until they got to the teleportation room that Catras remarks began to lose a hint of the confidence they had before. She looked like she was ready to fight.

“Okay, time to She-Ra on,” Catra said as she began to type into a console nearby, “be ready, the portal only takes a second to transport us. Remember what I told you and I think we have a shot at this. And _anything_ she says is a complete lie. Please trust me on this Adora. She will try everything to pit us against each other. I’m here for you. To save you. And Etheria. All she wants is power and for you to be her slave.”

Adora knew Shadow Weavers games. How she would try to manipulate everything to her advantage. She steeled her resolve and drew the Sword of Protection.

“For the honor of Grayskull!” the power surged through her and she knew her transformation to She-Ra was complete. It was so easy to call upon the power now after having trained with Light Hope so much in the last few years. She also knew that the more resolve she went into it with, the more power she would receive from the runestone in the sword.

It had been a while since she felt this much power come from the sword.

Catra took Adoras transformation as her answer and pressed the last button on the monitor in front of her, prompting the teleportation circle in the other room to light up and began an increasing fast pulsing noise.

Stepping into the circle, Adora felt her power grow tenfold. She instinctually closed her eyes as she let herself level out. When she opened them again, the room before her was different. Much less refined than anything else of the First Ones technology she’d ever seen. A tiny white jewel floated and glowed in the middle of the room. Adora noticed the small pulse in the gem lined up with the power that emanated from the sword. Looking down at the runestone, she noticed the sword as well as the rest of her body glowed with the same pastel rainbow light that emanated from the center of the room. The power was unlike anything she’d ever felt before.

“Adora, is that you? It’s so good to see you again,” the voice echoed from a dark corner of the room. Two glowing magenta eyes stared at Catra and Adora.

Even though she knew what would be in this room, she still felt her nerves tense up at actually being face to face with Shadow Weaver. Her grip tightened. If they won, she would win Catra.

Adora pushed all her fear for Shadow Weaver aside with that thought.

“Let’s finish this Shadow Weaver. Adora, you trust me right?” Catra looked to Adora, her hand stretched out. Adora gladly took it, nodding once with a big grin. One last squeeze and they jumped away from the lightning bolt they knew was coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought! This was a fun chapter to write. I can't believe there's only two chapters left to post!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy balls here we go! I hope you like it!

Catra had fought this fight over 100 times now. Shadow Weaver was one tough bitch to crack. It was easy if either she or Adora sacrificed themselves to jostle Shadow Weavers groove. But that wasn’t an option. Winning a perfect victory against Shadow Weaver was the only thing Catra would accept. She’d come too far to allow a half victory to be satisfactory.

As Shadow Weaver announces her presence, Catra takes those last few seconds to ground herself.

She breathed. Letting the hum of the Heart of Etheria sooth her. Her hand rubbed against the smooth leather of the gun holster. The cold metal within itching for a fight.

Catra indulged the beast. Letting a fragment of her anger come forth. Fuel for the coals of the hatred she kept smoldering for Shadow Weaver and anyone else who would do Adora harm.

With one movement, her hand drew the gun and flipped the safety off. It hung limply to her side, in an attempt to be discreet. She knew Shadow Weaver knew the weapons they carried but doing anything she could to not give Weaver an edge was something she would do.

A few more breaths before the chaos would ensue. _In. out. _

“Let’s finish this Shadow Weaver. Adora, you trust me right?” Catra said, opening her eyes to see Adora and extending her hand in her direction. She quickly took it and squeezed.

3

2

1

The world came back into focus. Her fur stood on end, sensing the static from the lightning coming towards them.

The dance began, Shadow Weaver throwing bolt after bolt in either of Catra or Adoras directions. Catra dodged with practiced ease._ Tire yourself out witch, let some of that magic bleed away. _

26 blasts later, the rate that they came at began to slow, Weavers breath got faster.

Catra and Adora used those gaps to close in on her.

Catra let Adora make the first swipe, knowing Shadow Weaver would aparate away. She aimed her gun to where she would reappear. One count. Fire.

A grunt told Catra her aim and timing was good. A red spot began to form around Shadow Weavers upper leg area.

More fighting. The two women slowly wore Shadow Weaver down. Adora was doing a great job and she and Catra worked together like a dream. Catras gun slowly became lighter as more bullets were expelled. They never found targets but she had to take every chance to get a good hit on Shadow Weaver.

The mid fight lull was filled with their heavy breathing. Both parties were winded, fighting their own bodies as much as each other now. Catra only feigned her sluggishness. It would make Weaver drop her guard ever so slightly.

“Adora, you would really throw your lot in with this urchin?” Shadow Weaver glared at Catra, “after everything I’ve done for you? I raised you myself! Everything I’ve ever done was to make you better than any Force Captain the Horde had ever seen.”

“After all this time, you’re still talking like I owe you. Of course I’m going to be with Catra, it was always Catra. All you did was pit us against each other and try to get us to fight. Nothing you ever did was good for either of us!” Adora yelled, Catra could feel the pulsating anger from Adora.

“I did it to make you better!” Shadow Weaver screamed, “to learn from Catras mistakes. If you go with her now, you’re dooming yourself to fall into whatever bad decisions she makes,” Shadow Weavers face changed now, if that was possible to see underneath the mask, calmer, “come with me child. Together we can control the Heart of Etheria. I can teach you to be a better wielder of the Sword of Protection than anyone ever has.”

“You’re insane. You just want power. You did it to me, you tried to do it to Glimmer, and you’re trying to do it now. Nothing you say will get me to come with you,” Adora looked to Catra, her eyes were serious but still caring when looking towards Catra, “I choose Catra,” the finality of her words could be felt throughout the chamber. It made Catras heart skip to hear Adora say it.

Catra looked back to Shadow Weaver with more resolve than before, Adora chose her and she chose Adora. Together they were unstoppable.

“So be it! I will end Catra and then erase any memory you ever had of her. You will be by my side once again,” Shadow Weaver raised both arms to release a powerful burst of energy at Catra.

In the half second it took for Shadow Weaver to charge up her magic, Catra flipped her gun around to be used as a club. She only had two bullets left but she couldn’t use them. The two bullets were important, one in case she actually got to the end of the fight, the other for a reset.

The world came back into focus as Catras fur stood on end, the bolt of energy screamed past Catra, hitting a console nearby, creating an explosion and rendering the station useless. The sharp dagger of twisted metal stuck out, ready for Catras next attempt to break Shadow Weaver away from her magic.

Shadow Weaver and Adora got in close together, exchanging blows. Catra closed in as well, attempting to bring Shadow Weaver closer to her doom. She rarely hit anything but all she needed was to move Weaver, to control her footsteps. A tiny voice in the back of her head wanted to shout her thought process to Shadow Weaver in an attempt to gain some affection. Instead she threw those thoughts into the fire that burned for Shadow Weavers defeat.

Catra and Adora were getting more hits in now, Shadow Weaver was getting sluggish and more than a little reckless. Her hair moved against gravity erratically, showing the anger and hate she bore behind the mask.

A blast forced Catra to jump out of the way and behind a pillar. Shadow Weaver immediately turned to Adora and focused her power there. Catra took the opportunity to slink farther into the shadows before climbing to her usual dark corner to wait for her turn.

6 seconds stretched out.

“Shadow Weaver,” Catra called out with a bored drawl, “I’m kind of disappointed. I thought you’d be a bigger challenge for a couple of us ‘ungrateful kids’,” the comment caused Shadow Weavers concentration to waver just long enough for Adora to get a good whack in. Shadow Weaver flew back at the contact, a new crack formed in her mask.

Now.

Catra leapt at Shadow Weaver, much like their first fight so long ago. Grabbing onto her shoulders and using the leverage to kick Shadow Weaver back and knock the wind out of her. It mostly worked. She didn’t give Shadow Weaver a chance to recover, closing the distance and hitting Weaver with quick precise jabs meant to hurt and keep her balance off. _Don’t let the anger in now, remember the steps._

This was her last dance. She had almost all of it counted out. All of the steps and punches came to her in the right sequence. The counts were perfect this time. Shadow Weaver lost more ground, the previously blown up console grew closer in Catras periphery.

A blind energy blast flies in Catras direction, she knows its coming and flips around, and behind, Shadow Weaver, enticing her to turn and try a new offensive.

Catra lets Shadow Weaver gain all the ground she wants, always moving closer to the sharp metal behind Catra.

1 step. 2 step.

3 slide. 4 pain.

One of Weavers bolts landed, weaker than the first ones she had been throwing at the beginning of the fight, her magic was waning. Catra dropped to one knee, she hoped this would work. She lowered her head, closing her eyes. She waited for what would happen.

Catra heard the air whistle as Adoras blade swung.

Adora had come to her. Catras trust in Adora was true.

Weaver saw it in time, aparating a foot over, Catra jumped up, turning to face Shadow Weaver, lining her up with the dagger jutting out in the process. The moment Weaver appeared, Catra lunged, hard.

She made contact with a solid body. The last run she’d been too slow and Shadow Weaver had aparated away again. The dagger was sharp and cold but had reset Catra quickly, leaving Adoras cries behind.

Catra felt the body stop slightly before moving slower. Catra opened her eyes to see the dagger dripping blood and protruding out of Shadow Weavers chest, inches from Catras own. The anger in the glowing eyes subsided as the pain found its ways into Shadow Weavers brain. Blood began soaking her robes from the jaggedness of the cut.

Catra stared in the eyes of her tormenter. The source of so many of her problems. She felt the anger and hatred grow again. Acting fast before Weaver could counter, her gun rose above her head and came down with all of the hate Catra held for Shadow Weaver. Dislocating the jaw and forcing her mask to fly off. It landed ten feet away, sat still. The purple gem faced upwards, glowing an evil color.

Catra quickly flipped her gun, taking aim at the gem.

In her haste, she missed her first shot by inches.

_I have to use the last bullet, I can’t leave Shadow Weaver._ Catra calmed herself, remembering the years of pistol training she’d given herself. In-between heartbeats and breaths. Squeeze don’t pull.

Catra could feel the springs clench as her hand contracted, the familiar sound of the bullet meant for Catras skull echoed through the chamber.

The gem exploded,

Purple light dissipated.

Shadow Weavers hair fell limp.

“NOOO! What have you done you foolish brat!” Shadow Weaver cried, the pain seemingly to have subsided for a moment. Blood was seeping out of her malformed mouth, the jaw still not the right shape.

“It’s over Shadow Weaver. Your magic is gone. I’ll make sure you never cast another spell ever again,” venom dripped from Catras words, as she flipped the gun around, ready to use it as a club again.

“Adora please, help me,” Shadow weaver cried over Catras shoulder, “you aren’t going to let Catra kill me are you? I raised you!” Adora looked down seemingly unsure.

Catra could see the unease in Adoras eyes. Adora didn’t want to kill anyone. She never had. Catra had decided she would be the one with the blood on her hands so Adoras soul wouldn’t be tarnished.

“Please trust me Adora. This is the only way for her to never hurt anyone ever again,” Catra could see more confusion cross Adoras face.

Oh no, Catra hadn’t gotten this far before. She hadn’t thought about how Adora would actually feel about killing Shadow Weaver. She’d been so focused on getting to the end of the fight.

The witch had to die.

She could just do it.

Not give Adora time to answer.

As Catra stared at Adora waiting for an answer, arms wrapped around her midsection and pulled her forward with more force than she thought Shadow Weaver would have without her magic.

Pain erupted through Catra as her chest took the rest of the dagger that stuck out from Shadow Weaver.

Catra instinctually grabbed for Shadow Weaver with one hand before dropping her gun and grabbing with that hand as well. She looked directly into Shadow Weavers malformed eyes.

“If I can’t have Adora, I certainly won’t let you have her,” Shadow Weaver spat, her eyes full of hate.

“NOOO!” Adora was there in milliseconds, her sword transformed into a blunt object that she used to bash Shadow Weavers skull. She immediately went limp, knocked out cold.

“Hang on for me Catra, I’m going to get you off of this. Ready? One. Two. Three,” Adora gently tugged Catra off of the metal impaling her. As soon as Catra was free, her legs went limp but was easily caught by Adora in her She-Ra form.

She laid Catra on the ground to take stock of her injury. Catra stared into Adoras eyes as she looked over Catras wounds. Tears welled in Adoras eyes as she saw how much blood Catra was losing. This was familiar, Catra thought bitterly.

“Hey Adora,” Catra coughed.

“You’re going to be okay, I just need to get you out of here. You’re gonna be okay,” Adora half spoke to Catra and half to herself. Catra hated that look on Adoras face.

Catra closed her eyes, letting old memories come back. She remembered more of what happened last time she and Adora were in a situation like this.

“Your sword. Remember what it can do,” Catra was having a hard time creating words, her mouth was dry, “you’ve healed me before. I would really rather not reset now,” Catra lifted a hand to Adoras face to caress a cheek, “you can do this.”

Adora looked at her and then at her sword still in her hand, like she was trying to recall what she had to do to heal someone with her powers.

She closed her eyes, brows knitted. Catra could see her digging deep for whatever she was looking for.

When her eyes reopened, Catra could tell she had found it.

Her hand glowed as it lifted to touch Catras wound. It itched and stung like mad as she felt the magic flow into her body and stitch her wound back together.

The tunnel vision began to subside and the pain lessened before becoming nonexistent. Consciousness was easier to hold onto now. Catra laid her hand on the one that had just saved her. She looked Adora in her beautiful blue eyes.

“You did it,” Catra smiled.

Seeing her success, Adoras smiled back before grabbing Catra into a hug. They stayed like that until Adora was satisfied. Catra wasn’t about to stop her. She broke the hug and helped Catra get on her feet before looking to the unconscious body of Shadow Weaver, still impaled. At least it looked like the bleeding had slowed significantly with the metal still going through her.

“She doesn’t need to die,” Adora finally said, “you changed. Maybe she can too. I know it’s a slim chance, but we have to give it to her. Queen Angela and her sister will be able to keep her locked up.”

Catra wanted to object. Desperately. She wanted the closure. To beat Shadow Weaver once and for all. But would it heal her old wounds? No, she had to admit to herself. Killing had never made her feel better before, she knew that. Shadow Weavers death probably wouldn’t either. Catra let out a sign before nodding at Adora.

Adoras guard visibly dropped at the nod. She turned back to Shadow Weaver, “can you help me get her off this? I’ll heal her enough so she’s stable. It’ll be easier to move her when she’s weak but she needs to make it back to Brightmoon.” 

Anyone could change if they wanted to. Shadow Weaver would have an even harder time than Catra did and Catras climb had been pretty rough. But she would give Adora what she wanted. Catra sighed again, moving to help Adora without saying anything.

Once maneuvered off the spike and onto the ground, Adora was able to summon her healing powers again and kept Shadow Weavers life from fading completely. The bleeding stopped and her breathing became less shallow. It’s sounded more like a deep sleep now.

The damn woman almost looked peaceful.

A monotone voice Catra had only heard once before rang out once Shadow Weavers healing was done, “security threat neutralized. Admittance to Gia restored. Please follow protocol 05-27,” the voice cut out. The teleportation platform began to glow again.

Catra looked over to the Heart of Etheria. It glowed and pulsated peacefully, doing exactly as it was intended to do.

Shadow Weaver lay on the ground, helpless.

The Heart was safe. Etheria was safe.

Adora was alive.

Her mission was complete.

The checkbox inside her head that she’d made herself lifetimes ago was finally crossed out. Finally allowing the prerogative she’d followed for so long to fall away.

Her mind awaited its next command.

She was free.

Tears came as the implications of this moment hit Catra. She turned to Adora and threw her arms around the huge form of She-Ra. Adora quickly followed and they laughed in each other’s arms. When the laughter died down, they looked at each other, arm in arm.

“I’m done. I can finally move on. I have so much to tell you!” Catra realized how much she wanted to yell her proclamations of love across Etheria.

“I can’t wait to hear every word,” Adoras smile was wide and happy.

“Attention all personal, transmission of the H.E.A.R.T. imminent. Please exit the energy relay chamber,” the flat robot voice echoed through the room. The lighting had changed to a dangerous red and an alarm began and slowly rose in volume.

“Let’s go! We can talk about this later!” Catra threw her arms away from Adora, ready to run, “can you carry Shadow Weaver? I don’t know how much help I can be.”

“Yes I can,” Adora said kneeling down already grabbing Shadow Weavers limp form.

In a manner of seconds, Shadow Weaver was hoisted up and the two women ran through the portal to take them back to the facility.

As they ran to the portal, Catra picked the gun up off the ground. It was still too soon to say goodbye to it.

\---

Back in the control room, Catra and Adora looked around to make sure they were safe. Adora moved to put Shadow Weaver down before letting She-Ras power fade.

Catra didn’t move. She was staring. Adora followed Catras gaze. The large door that had been previously locked shut was now slightly ajar.

“Wait here Adora, I think I’m supposed to go in there,” Catra said back to Adora without looking in her direction. She was already wandering over to the door.

“Are you sure? I don’t think splitting up is a good idea right now. I don’t want one of us to be attacked.”

Adora was worried. She didn’t want to take the chance of losing Catra. If what Catra said was true, she wouldn’t be able to ‘reset’ anymore. The idea frightened Adora.

A motherly voice came from the direction of the room before them, “the facility is safe. Do not worry Adora. Come Catra, I have much to tell you. Please wait outside Adora.”

Catra and Adora shared confused looks. Adora still didn’t like the idea of them splitting up, but the voice sounded genuine and real, much more lifelike than other First Ones voices they’d heard before. Plus this was First Ones technology. It may have been difficult to use and decipher but it was never outright antagonistic.

“It’ll be okay Adora, I think I need to do this,” Catra said, walking back to Adora and placing a hand on her shoulder.

They shared another long look. Adora wanted more but she didn’t want to push Catra yet. So Adora settled on taking the hand on her shoulder into her own hand and rubbing the back of it with her thumb. She hoped her feelings would be conveyed properly. Catra gave Adora a smile.

“I’ll be right back,” Catra said, slowly leaving Adoras grasp before turning around and walking into the room. The door closed behind her.

Time stretched out with nothing to do. Adora sat against a wall, keeping a close eye on Shadow Weaver. She hoped Shadow Weaver wouldn’t wake up for some time. The last thing she needed was a conversation with her abuser.

When staring at Shadow Weaver got boring, Adora thought back to the times she and Catra had spent together over the last four days. They had been amazing. Getting to know Catra again had been amazing.

Adora let a smile come to her lips. She was really looking forward to the conversation she and Catra would have later. She knew how it would go. They both felt the same way for each other but Catra needed to save herself the heartbreak if she reset. It stung, but Adora understood where Catra was coming from.

Adora wanted to be with Catra. She loved Catra. She couldn’t wait for them to be able to really be together. For Catra to tell her more stories of their adventures. Adora had realized that even though she doesn’t remember those things happening, they still meant a lot to Catra and seeing her happy made Adora happy. All Adora wanted was for Catra to be happy and at peace.

Finally, after an age, the large door reopened and Catra emerged from the room. Her head was down, deep in thought. Adora was instantly at her side.

“Hey there you are, are you okay? What did you see in there?” Adora tried to put a hand on Catras shoulder but she dodged out of the way, not allowing the contact. Adora put her arm down, hurt.

“There’s so much. I know everything now,” Catra said, not looking at Adora, “why I would go back in time. Why I could travel the Whispering woods without losing time. How it all came together”

“That’s great! Right? You wanted answers… Unless they were answers you didn’t want to hear,” dread began forming in Adoras stomach. What had Catra learned?

“Yes. My questions were answered. It was a lot to take in. I’ll need time to come to peace with everything,” Catra hesitated before continuing, “I need to ask you something.”

“Of course Catra, anything,” Adora was trying to stay level headed. She wasn’t sure what was going on in Catras head.

“There is… something I was given. Something the Heart of Etheria can give me. Give others. I’m not sure if I want to do it though. Some people may not want what I have to give,” Catra was rubbing her hands together. Adora could see Catra trying to keep her hands off the holster at her side.

“What is it? You can tell me anything,” Adora hoped the tenderness would help Catra let out what she had to say. Catra took a moment before speaking.

“Gia, the AI I met in there,” Catra vaguely pointed a hand towards the door she’d come from, “has control over the Heart of Etheria. She controls everything that keeps Etheria alive. She- she was the one who put me into the time loop. It was her, and the Heart of Etheria I guess. Gia knew what would happen if Shadow Weaver got the Heart of Etheria. So she chose me to stop her. She saw the potential in me to save the world,” Catra was still talking slower than usual.

“She wasn’t wrong, you did save the world Catra. Shadow Weaver isn’t a threat because of you and now everyone is safe. Come here, let me give you a hug.”

Catra finally looked up at Adora. She didn’t get closer to Adora to accept the hug.

“She’s allowing me some small piece of the control she has. Gia gave me the ability to give people pieces of the memories they never lived. I can give anyone I choose exactly one time loop worth of memories. All I have to do is want to share memories with them,” she paused, looking around the room, her hands still wringing together nervously, “and touch them.”

Adoras took a moment for the implications to come to her. She realized what Catra was saying. What she was really saying. Catra wore a hopeful look in her magnificent eyes. Catra wanted to give her some of these memories.

Catra continued, “I have a run in mind I would like to give you. But I have to ask your permission first. There are bad parts to what I want to show you as much as good, but once you have them I hope you understand why I want to give them to you. Do you trust me?” Catras words were full of hope, she really wanted to do this for Adora. The answer was easy to come by.

“Yes, of course I trust you Catra, anything I don’t understand I’m sure you’ll be able to explain. If you want to share these memories, I will take them,” Adora finished her sentence with a smile to show her unwavering trust.

“Are you ready then?”

“Yes.”

Catra stepped closer to Adora, there was almost no air between them now.

She looked into Adoras eyes and she did the same, waiting for Catra. Adora could stare into Catras beautiful dual colored eyes forever. She hoped she would get the chance.

Adora waited, not moving an inch, waiting for what Catra would give her.

Gently, Catra placed her hands on Adoras shoulders before slowly leaning in and placing a single kiss on Adoras lips.

Pastel colored white light flashed in Adoras mind.

Memories flooded in of a time she hadn’t lived.

Catra having a near panic attack in Adoras room.

The party after the battle where Catra and Adora talk on the balcony.

Light Hope painfully scanning Catras memories and displaying them all for Adora to see.

That night when Catra is attacked by a bunch of thugs, Adora bringing them down before kneeling over Catras dying body.

_I love you_. Catra had said

The next morning when they kiss. The memories of that conversation felt like the warmest of blankets falling on Adoras shoulders. The conversation that didn’t need to be spoken.

_I love you. I missed you. I’m sorry. I forgive you. I’m never leaving you again. I promise._

The happiness and shenanigans that followed, how they completed each other.

The ending when Adora killed Shadow Weaver at the expense of her own life.

Everything swirled in Adoras head before she was able to bring herself back to the present.

She remembered the soft lips against her own. The person she had always loved standing before her, professing her love for Adora in a way no one had ever done before.

They slowly broke apart, Catras eyes fluttered open. Her face was completely flushed and her eyes had a shyness to them. Adora took the brief moment to look into the eyes she grew up with, the eyes she had worried she would never see happiness in again. She smiled.

“I love you too Catra,” Adora said just loud enough for Catra to hear. Wonder filled Catras eyes before Adora brought Catra in for another, longer kiss.

This was it. They’d won. Shadow Weaver had lost.

The kiss froze time. They stayed connected in that frozen moment only breaking apart to stare into each other’s eyes before sharing another kiss.

“Thank you Catra. I couldn’t have ask for anything better,” Adora smiled again before she started giggling at the circumstances, “we did it. You did it. I’m so proud of you.”

Catra held a face of peace and contentment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that was satisfying to read as it was to write. Let me know your thoughts and feels! I love reading about them. 
> 
> Up next, even more of that happy fucking ending they deserve!!!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are. Enjoy.

The end of the world never came. Cold didn’t sweep through the land. Catra spent more than a few tense nights watching the moons high in the sky. They never dim.

Catra didn’t let herself fully relax until a week after the alarm in her head had gone off saying the end of the world was inevitable.

She talked with Adora about everything on her mind the entire time. Adora spent every moment assuring and comforting Catra to the best of her ability. Somedays she was enough. Others, Scorpia or Entrapta would be able to swoop in and make Catra feel better. Scorpia had the best way of making Catra forget her worries by being so damn positive and Entrapta would rationalize with Catra over math and equations all night.

It didn’t take long for Catra to decide which runs she wanted to share with her friends. She tentatively told them of what she could do and of course they wanted their memories. This was a way for them to know Catra a little bit more. It made Catras heart swell when she heard that. This was her family. She would have been happy enough for this, the fact she could share more with them was icing on the cake.

To Scorpia, Catra gave her a loop where Catra finally let herself open up to Scorpia and helped Catra learn how to receive friendship as well as help from others without pushing it away and stewing on it. Learning to be happy and show vulnerability were some of the toughest things she had to learn and Scorpia stood by her the entire time with her unwavering support. They hugged of course afterwards. Catra silently vowed she would do her best to be half as good a person as Scorpia.

Entrapta was given the memories of a breakthrough she and Catra had had in the study of the runestones and how energy transferred between them and another entity they could never identify (later found to be the Heart of Etheria itself). They decided to continue that research and Catra enjoyed theory crafting with the mad genius. She still didn’t fully understand the math behind some of the equations Entrapta had derived but had a firm grasp on their concepts and how they interacted together. Entrapta loved having the equations she never knew she had discovered. Entrapta thanked Catra for helping her and Perfuma find each other again. They were happy together.

Until Catra finally came to terms with the fact that the world wasn’t ending, she began to think about who else to give memories to. It was an important decision to her. Even if they didn’t accept what she wanted to give, the thought process was cathartic.

Catra shared with Glimmer a time when they bonded over their treatment of Shadow Weaver. Even though Glimmers enslavement of Shadow Weaver was short compared to Catras, it was still long enough for the witch to dig into Glimmers mind and plant seeds of distrust, among other abuses. After receiving her memories back, Glimmer actually hugged Catra. She’d been tight lipped about what happened to her because even Adora didn’t seem to get it all the time. It seemed Shadow Weaver decided Glimmer would receive an awful cocktail of what she had given Adora and Catra over the years. Getting praise when she pushed herself far beyond healthy limits but also being put down at even the slightest hint of “weakness” or whatever Shadow Weaver deemed a punishable offence. Catra helped Glimmer let out some of these demons as time went on.

The playful jabs and insults never left their friendship but both Catra and Glimmer knew it was only in fun. They were kin borne in the abuse Shadow Weaver spewed, and for that, Catra would treasure that bond she and Glimmer shared.

Bows memories were much happier. He’d spent countless patient hours helping Catra, guiding Catra, on how to show her friendship to others. How to allow herself to help others she cared about and how to let go of her jealousy. He’d been an anchor for Catra as much as anyone else had, more so in some aspects. Catra gave him the memories of when she successfully interacted with people around the castle in a kind manor. Asking if they needed help and genuinely wanting to help them. It had been an exercise he had come up with to give Catra easy practice with no strings attached.

Catra knew Bow was a hugger like Scorpia but she didn’t know he was a snotty crier as he wailed into her shoulder after gaining his memories back.

Queen Angela was the only person who didn’t want to be shown her memories but rather told from in Catras point of view. How a single conversation realigned Catras path after she lost it in her anger and single mindedness to bring Shadow Weaver down. Before their conversation, Catra decided happiness wasn’t necessary. That it had to wait until after the mission was over. Angela reminded Catra that life is so much easier when you’re happy and have friends who you allow to help bear the weight.

Catra realized she might have a real mother figure to look up to in Angela. She didn’t say it of course because she was too proud for that, but the hug they had after their conversation voiced her thoughts for her. Angela seemed all too happy to have another daughter to help guide through life.

Catras gun was a difficult matter.

It had been so close to her through her entire journey. It took a lot of talking and convincing from everyone to finally get Catra to let go of it.

She along with Adora and both of their friend groups took a mini vacation to the closest ocean. They spent days there, enjoying themselves and growing closer. Catra and Adora spent a lot of time running away from their group to have private dates, make out sessions and the occasional prank on their friends. Nothing _too_ mean spirited, but Glimmer stared daggers at them for at least two days before she finally let one of their pranks go. Catra and Adora laughed the whole time.

On the last day Catra stood in the waves, knee deep, turning the gun over in her hands like she had done so many times. Remembering what it meant to her. How it had kept her alive but also driven her mad on more than one occasion. She checked it over, just like she did every morning after a reset. The gun showed some wear and tear now. Scratches and dings from the hard life Catra put it through. From the fight with Shadow Weaver, to just being at her side during the following weeks as things continued to stabilize and she began to move on. Catra noted every single blemish. She would remember this gun forever, but now it was time for it, like her, to rest and be at peace.

The empty magazine slid out with ease, splashing into the surf and almost immediately covering in sand. More parts fell from the gun as Catra slowly disassembled it for the last time. Scattering it like it was a ritual. She paid no mind to her friends watching her from the beach.

She took her time. Knowing it would be the last time she would ever hold this guns weight. Feel its cold metal. She was reminded of a time when a flashback had almost made her reset because of how easily it was to get to the gun.

When the hollowed out husk of the pistols grip was all that remained Catra took one last good look before hurling it as far into the ocean as she could muster. It flew far. She couldn’t hear the splash it made over the sound of the waves around her. Catra would remember it as a helper. Something that brought her through the turmoil of her time loops and wouldn’t dwell of the awful things she’d done with it. Those negative thoughts weren’t important. She had atoned.

Catra turned to see the ensemble of the family she had built through much blood and tears. They all smiled, some waving, one hollering, others standing silently but radiated happiness for Catra at the closing of this chapter in her life. She couldn’t help but smile and tried to will away the tears of happiness from stinging her eyes and forcing her to blink. Walking back to her family, they shared a group hug centered on Catra. Adora right there, next to Catra. She never left Catras side. She had always chosen Catra.

\---

There was one last order of business Catra needed to attend to before she could truly move on. She needed to face Shadow Weaver and tell her she had lost. That Catra had won.

“Are you sure you want to do this alone? I’m happy to be there with you, you know,” Adora told Catra as they faced the entrance to the dungeons, where Shadow Weavers cell resided.

“Yes, I’m at a place now where I can face her and tell her to her face she was wrong. There’s nothing she can do anyway,” Catra tried to keep her voice slightly aloof, not wanting to show her nervousness.

She’d spent a long time having this conversation in her head. She thought she knew what she wanted, needed, to say.

“Okay. Just remember I’m right up here if you need me. The guards will help too if you need them,” Adora went on. She was doing that motherly tone again.

“I’ll be fine, don’t get your britches in a knot, I’ll be back before you know it,” Catra said with a smile. She was ready.

Before hearing Adoras rebuttal, Catra entered the doorway and began the trek to the dungeon. The guards let her to Shadow Weavers cell where they gave her a few rules to follow and what to do if something happened. Catra only half listened. This was the first time in a while she wished the gun was with her.

The door unlocked and Catra stepped in. She waited for the door to close and lock before she continued. The room wasn’t as awful as she thought it would be. There was some level of comfort given to Shadow Weaver it seemed. She would be here for a long time, and rotting on the stone floor was something Brightmoon wouldn’t have allowed. Even then, it was still a prison cell. A tiny window with bars let in the smallest amount of light. A simple bed in the corner. A table and two chairs sat in the center of the ten by ten foot room. A bookshelf with old looking books nested in a far corner.

In one of the chairs sat Shadow Weaver herself. She’d been allowed a simple mask to give some semblance of decency and comfort.

“Hello Shadow Weaver,” Catra said, standing a few paces from the door. She was ready for this.

“So you would come see me before even Adora. How is she?” Shadow Weaver said coldly.

“Ask her yourself if she ever comes to visit you.”

“Don’t talk to me like that you brat! Show respect to your elder. You’re only here to rub it in my face that I’m stuck in another cell while you get to walk free. Just like when I was imprisoned in the Fright Zone,” Shadow Weaver scoffed.

“I’m here for closure. And to give you something. You treated me like dirt while I was growing up and I’m here to finally tell you how I feel.”

Shadow Weaver laughed at Catras statement.

“I treated you the way I did to make you stronger, to make you better than everyone else. It never worked of course, but I still tried. Now I know for sure, you will always be nothing. Just an insolent child who doesn’t know their place in the world.”

“Maybe you’re right, maybe I am insolent. But I know I’m not nothing because Adora chose me. I love her and she loves me and stands by my side. And nothing you ever do will change that. Maybe someday you’ll come around like I did,” Catra said flatly, Shadow Weaver was doing exactly what she thought she would do. This conversation was predictable enough she wouldn’t even need to think about resetting if that was an option.

“Adora will never truly love you! She will throw you aside as soon as she sees fit! Just like she did to me!” Shadow weave yelled, slamming her fists against the table.

“And yet I’m still here, on this side of the room, the side Adora chose. I made my mistakes and she forgave them and I trust her to not go back on her word. I had to go through hell many times to come to that conclusion. I hope you can take this as advice and not spend as much time as I did doubting,” Catra could see her words were chipping away at Shadow Weaver exterior. She stepped closer and sat in the empty chair across from Shadow Weaver. She didn’t make a move, just sat there seething, fists balled, knuckles white.

“Do you want to know how I did it? How I beat you? How every single move you threw at Adora and myself only met air,” Catra lets a smug smirk come to her lips. She was going to show Shadow Weaver whether she wanted to or not.

“It’s clear I was out numbered. Two against one is hardly fair, I taught you better than that,” Shadow Weaver tried to muster some form of authority. It didn’t work.

“Nope,” Catra popped the end of the word trying to get another rise out of Shadow Weaver, she wanted to draw this out as much as she could, she’d only get to experience it once, “that’s not the case. You beat us the first time. And the hundredth time. Even with Entrapta and Scorpia there, you always finished us off one by one. I’ll give it to you, you are truly a master of dark magic.”

“Don’t patronize me. I don’t believe you, we only fought one time. I lost because I was outnumbered.”

“Man you’re stubborn. No wonder I got it so bad,” without a hint, Catra slide her hand across the table and placed it on top of Shadow Weavers fist, letting the fragment of control she had over the Heart of Etheria take hold and dump the memories of her and Adoras first fight against Shadow Weaver. Catra waited for the memories to sink in. Once the magic was done, Catra removed her hand and waited for Shadow Weavers response.

“I spent almost eight years living that day and the four previous days. For that long, every time I died, I would wake back up in my bunk bed in the Fright Zone and do it all over again. Stopping you, ended that curse. What I just gave you was the first time Adora and I fought you in the room with the Heart of Etheria. I spent around 105 runs trying to beat you. It took me that long to get good enough to finish you.

“How does it feel knowing Adora killed you after you tried to kill me only to hit her? I watched her die. I saw the light leave her eyes while you bled out on the floor. I want you to know I would have killed you if Adora hadn’t stopped me after we beat you. She thinks you can change. Don’t prove her wrong,” Catra paused, soaking in Shadow Weavers posture, “enjoy your stay in Brightmoon. I’ll visit sometimes,” Catra gave one last look at Shadow Weaver. Without waiting for a response Catra got up and knocked on the cell door to show she was done.

Was that Shadow Weaver yelling at her with some incoherent vitriol?

Maybe.

She had more important things to think about, like Adoras beautiful eyes and that dinner date she had coming up with some of her friends. The meeting she had later that day with Angela to talk about goings on in all of the kingdoms and where best to allocate resources.

Catra was free. She felt good. She didn’t realize how much she needed that. Now she truly felt she could begin a new chapter in her life. It may not always be amazing or perfect and she would have to learn to make mistakes again, but she would always have Adora there to guide her and Catra would always help Adora on her worst days.

Everything would be okay.

Adora met Catra at the top of the stairs, a worried frown on her face.

Catra walked up the last step and into Adoras arms.

Damn she loved Adoras hugs.

That frown disappeared once she sees Catra smiling at her, the worry vanishes and it’s replaced by a perfect smile.

Nothing shone brighter in the world.

They share a kiss before heading back, hands laced together, to their favorite hangout spot in the castle where they could laze away and talk until some duty would call them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. My first major fic finished. Thank you to everyone who followed me along on this ride and giving me the amazing support you did. Special shout out to those who commented every time I uploaded chapters. You know who you are and thank you from the bottom of my heart. 
> 
> I will be posting new stories in the future. I'm currently working on nanowrimo but that story wont be posted until its nearly complete and edited like this one was. (hint, catradora medieval au) (*cough* also a fluffy catradora monster au is in the works)
> 
> I'm so happy I could get this uploaded before season 4 dropped. There's a lot in this story I feel reads better without knowing how Season 4 pans out. It was also my way of dealing with the ending of season 3 and needing some way to vent my feelings. 
> 
> I hope that was a sufficiently happy ending that was promised and after everything I put these babies through. 
> 
> I have to ask if anyone ever picked up on my use of how I described Catras gun? In most chapters it was her gun. In a couple, it was the gun. Just curious. I never mentioned it, it was merely a writing choice to show Catras feelings towards it. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed everything. Again, thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts on this story that has grown dear to me. 
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts and comments.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Please leave a comment, and let me know if you spot typos or really nasty grammar that ought to be fixed!
> 
> Here is my ko fi link if you would like to send me a donation!
> 
> ko-fi.com/plantsrule


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